FANTASY PREVIEW!!!!!!!

It's that time of year again, all the major media outlets are buzzing with fantasy news: who's in, who's out, who's injured, who's in prison, and who's going to have a breakout year. Watercoolers are boiling over with fantasy talk as people's wallets go thin from their keeper league buy-ins. All the major sports publications and outlets are giving their fantasy predictions to help out their loyal readers. These facts make it perplexing that ESPN decided to release their HOCKEY fantasy preview on August 21st seeing as how training camps are still almost a month away.
Here is the link, click at your own risk:

http://games.espn.go.com/fhl/tools/projections?display=alt

I understand the constant football updates because it is so widespread, but why this hockey preview so early? It seems as the World Wide Leader has completely lost interest in the League. My head almost exploded reading their top fifteen, that was until i read their goaltender rankings, when i vomited all over my office computer. The Asian IT guy was not pleased. Sparing you all the pain of me dissecting every terrible prognostication, I'm going to give you my favorite. That is the pick of Jose Theodore at #7 overall. OVERALL! Not just #7 goaltender, which is probably even a bit high, but 7 out of the entire league! I'm speechless. A few seasons ago, this guys was replaced by Peter Budaj, after he was ousted from Montreal. And suddenly ESPN thinks he's the 7th most valuable player in the league?

In closing I would like to send a memo out to ESPN:
Please stop using your interns to compile crappy lists that are written poorly just to generate discussion amongst the 15 hockey fans that still remain. Instead, when people click on your NHL page, forward the surfers to either TSN.ca or sportsnet.ca thus saving you money because you dont have to employ lackeys that know nothing about the sport to write your articles.
Thanks,
GM

Offseason Lookout: Teams no one cares about in a League no one cares about

On the eve of Canada Day and the first day of NHL free agency, I figured I’d take a look at the moves some of the smaller market teams have made, and how they look moving forward to next season. Here’s a look at the biggest mover and shakers (it’s all relative) so far since the start of the off-season and leading up to today.

Tampa Bay: After finishing with the lowest wins in the league just 4 years removed from their Stanley Cup championship, the ‘Ning have under gone a total facelift. They were terrible last year due to a shallow line-up, poor goaltending, and Dan Boyle’s inability to dodge flying skate blades. With new ownership led by Oren Koules of the Saw film franchise, the Lightning are at least trying to make things interesting in the hum-drum NHL. For starters, in NFL fashion the team made it clear they were going to draft Steven Stamkos with the first overall pick. Stamkos has been compared to Sakic and Yzerman, but has not garnered as much fan-fare as Crosby or Ovechkin. He should help the team, but I don’t see him being an impact player at the age of 18 next season. It was noteworthy that with their last pick, the Lightning drafted David Carle, brother of Sharks D-man Matt, who was touted as a second round pick, but will probably never play hockey again due to a congenital heart disease which was discovered at the Draft Combine. That was truly a classy move.

Continuing with their trend, the Lightning brought Barry Melrose out of ESPN studios and put him back behind the bench. I still maintain that this was a bad personnel move due to Melrose’s poor record as a head coach, and the fact that he hasn’t coached an NHL game in almost 15 years. His success as a coach came due to some guy named Gretzky, but his hiring is more about the publicity and notoriety his name brings than his coaching acumen.

Most recently, Tampa signed former Penguins wingers Ryan Malone and Gary Roberts. Malone got a 7 year $31.5 million contract for scoring 27 goals as Geno Malkin’s winger. That’s $4.5 mil for 27 goals! 27! Not even a 30 goal season. This signing continues in a long line of overpaid and lengthy contracts that will bite the team and the league in the ass within the next 2-3 years. Let’s not even discuss that Tampa still lacks a proven #1 goalie and their backline is Dan Boyle, Paul Ranger, and Shane O’Brien. These guys are more likely to hit the bar more than their opponents. At least Vinny Lecavalier is still really good and will be there for the next 9 years after signing a contract extension.

LA: The Kings are building the right way and are positioning themselves for lots of success in the future. Yes, they traded Mike Cammalleri to Flames, but the future of this team lies within Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty (giving them the ol’ one two), Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, Alex Frolov, and Paddy O’Sullivan, and Jon Bernier. As long as Dan Cloutier and Marc Crawford are kept as far away as possible, this team has a bright future. The addition of Matt Greene, and Jarret Stoll for Lubo Visnovsky makes the Kings younger and gives them more depth up the middle behind Kopitar and some beef in front of their own net.

Phoenix: A team to be reckoned with as early as next season will be the Phoenix Coyotes. With a ful season from Ilya Bryzgalov backed up by Al Montoya, the ‘yotes should have a very promising goaltending tandem for the next few years. Don Maloney has been doing a better job in the desert than he did with the Islanders, but that’s not saying much. The acquisition of Olli Jokinen for Nick Boynton and Keith Ballard might have hurt the team’s defensive depth, but it takes pressure off kids Kyle Turris, Peter Mueller, and Martin Hanzal, while giving veteran responsibility to Jokinen, Captain Shane Doan, and a revived Jovo-cop. I expect the ‘Yotes to be a competitor in the West and push for a playoff spot next season.

Islanders Draft Wrap

NHL draft analysis. Not even ESPN does this! I just checked Long Island’s Newsday to see their coverage of the Islanders draft class, and I should have been surprised to see that the only shred of analysis from Islander bear writer Greg Logan was “They’d better be right.” I appreciate his going out on a limb.

Now in Mr. Logan’s defense – what do you say? No one cares about the NHL draft, as such there is no coverage. For the most part, NBA fans get to watch their draft picks play in the NCAA tournament. MLB fans, to a lesser extent, have the College World Series and a strong enough fan base that makes it worth the time of analysts to seek out high school and foreign born players. The most egregious example is, of course, the NFL. A league whose Scouting Combine is televised and its talent pool comes almost exclusively from Division 1 college football which has its own analysts. For the NHL, Mr. Logan would have to literally go to games in Canadian junior leagues, European junior leagues, American colleges, American high schools, and beyond. The NHL truly draws from a global pool of talent.

That said, can we try to get some information? Are these players good fits? Is Garth Snow’s characterization of each player correct? The Islanders clearly had a controversial strategy in the draft – was it correct? For what it’s worth, here are my thoughts:

Obviously, first round pick Josh Bailey will be the most scrutinized. Having passed up the fifth overall pick in a draft that was said to have six real bright stars, anything short of Bailey making an all-star game could make him a failure. Still, there is logic in their decision. For one thing, Snow viewed him as the second best forward on the board and the Islanders must certainly need productive forwards after rounding at the bottom of the league in scoring. If this is true, Bailey is a steal. Also, with the exception of Trent Hunter, Bruno Gervais, and Chris Campoli, the Isles system has not produced many players fit for success in the NHL. When was the last time it produced a scorer? (The jury is still out on Comeau and Okposo). Perhaps the Isles needed to clean house.

I disagree with the Isles’ fans who booed after the Isles traded down for Bailey. The problems faced by this team cannot be alleviated by one 19 year-old center. The Isles needs to start building a strong system that will allow them to trade prospects for a top-tier scorer and have a supporting cast in place for that scorer. A new building will also be crucial for the Isles to attract any superstar to the team, as Ryan Smyth’s quick departure truly showed what players think of Long Island. The goalie is in place, the defense is getting solid, there are only a few pieces left to the puzzle. It will take a steady hand by Garth Snow to make sure the Isles stay on course. He seems to have risen to the challenge in the 2008 draft.

He’d better be right.

Good thing I'm not a psychic

I should clearly stick to prognosticating NHL results and stop there. First, i figured and hoped that the Netherlands would be victorious in their match against the feisty Russians Saturday afternoon. I was wrong. Dead wrong. The Russian beat the Dutch at their own game by attacking relentlessly in what was a back and forth, and actually exciting game of soccer to watch. The Russians were touted as an upstart and youthful team with the ability to score goal on a porous Dutch defense, but the Dutch, masters of attack and pretty ball control were veterans of this style. They got beat at their own game as they looked to be on their heels for the entire match, especially the 30 minutes of extra time where the Russians scored twice to seal the victory.

On Sunday, in the second leg of World Cup qaulifying, I said that the Americans would face the wrath of an angry and embarassed Barbados team and fan base. Again, I was wrong as the Americans won the match 1-0 (9-0 aggregate) with little to no fan fare as a bigger game, Italy vs. Spain, took place at the same time. This game ended up being just as exciting as watching paint dry because I was hungover and because Italy decided to play the defensive soccer that Americans hate. Rightfully so after being treated to excitement and majesty on Saturday. Instead the Italians tried to play to get to penalties, and when they did, they still lost. As much as I wanted them to win the battle of hair products, they deserved to lose this game as their strategery drained the life out of the game from the opening kickoff. Thankfully they are out of the tournament and may be rethinking their defensive coaching tactics instead of forcing the issue agaisnt the Spaniards. So that's that, and the Germans are probably going to win it all, although those Ruskies are so gosh darned plucky I wouldn't mind seeing them hoist the trophy.

Tiger Woods and the Net Crasher Squeeze Out Some Big Wins

You heard it here first folks. ESPN’s golf experts shied away from Tiger maybe because of his knee surgery, maybe because he was too obvious of a choice, who really knows. But ESPN.com’s predications were as such:

Bob Harig (ESPN.com contributor) – Phil Mickelson

Jason Sobel (ESPN.com golf writer) – Phil Mickelson

John Antonini (Golf World senior editor) - Phil Mickelson

Ron Sirak (Golf World executive editor) - Anthony Kim

Meanwhile, on the humble pages of The View Through Your Earpiece, yours truly was making the correct prediction. Not only did I pick Tiger Woods but I correctly suggested he would card a -1 this weekend at Torrey Pines. As a matter of fact, I was so confident with this pick it is the first text on our blog to be written in red.

Still, why Woods won really went beyond what I wrote (and anyone else for that matter). Yes, Woods has been dominant at Torrey Pines in years past, but this clearly was not the Torrey Pines that we had seen in years past. Increased yardage, five inch rough, short par 5s and long par 4s. With one of the strongest fields in golf, no one came close to the double digit red numbers that we had seen previous Buick Invitational events. Similarly, Woods’ knee didn’t really hold up, as predicted. But he persevered despite it. Just as he played through the pain he played through during the Masters, Woods grinded out a win that even he didn’t think he pull out.

Here are a couple parting thoughts on what was a great weekend in San Diego…

- A prime-time nail biter involving Tiger Woods. The PGA could not have asked for a better set-up. With over 13 million viewers, it blew out the other networks and rivaled ABC’s coverage of the NBA finals, which immediately followed.

- Golf is not boaring! What’s wrong with you people??? Phil falls apart, Tiger claws back in the 4^th round, Rocco claws back in the 18^th hole playoff, and 5 rounds of golf and Tiger and Rocco still had the same score. So many storylines, so much excitement. Do me a favor and watch the British Open next month.

- The US Open Long Baller Theory continues to apply but just barely. Rocco Mediate (62^nd in driving distance) would have turned the theory on its head. But Woods was second in the field in driving distance and a pretty pathetic 56^th in fairways hit. Woods was stilling hitting greens in regulation (T-14^th in the field) and putted well. This includes some pretty remarkable shots including two eagle putts in the fourth round, his approach on the 19^th hole of the tie-breaker, his chip-in on 17 in the fourth round, and his shot out of the sand on the 15^th during the playoff.

- Drive for Show and Putt for Dough. Woods and Mediate were tied for 11^th in the field in putting. This is a pretty good ranking to have, as the top putters in the field are usually lower in the field because it takes them an extra shot to put it on the green. The first, second, and fourth ranked putters did not break the top 30.

- It will be hard for anyone to not cheer for Rocco Mediate in the future. The guy was all smiles throughout what was no doubt the most pressure he faced in his career. Although, as Johnny Miller interestingly pointed out, this might have been a psychological ploy to get Tiger off his game. I doubt it, but hats off to Rocco if he figured that one out.

- Phil Mickelson’s role as golf’s #2 should be seriously questioned after this week. The whole driver/no driver switch should not be viewed as a good adjustment but as a major lack of preparation on Phil’s part.

- It was nice to see Ernie Els put up a good number. I sure would love to see him win the British Open.

- Will Tiger be back to 100% for the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale on July 17? Will it matter?

- Bethpage Black in 2009. Can't wait! Nothing mixes better than New York fans and golf.

I could write a bunch of platitudes nows about how this was the greatest Open ever and how great of a sport golf is, but I'll leave that to the great writing of Gene Wojciechowski and Pat Forde.

Wojciechowski: Golf comes up aces: Tiger, Rocco save world of sports

Forde: A Torrey Story: Woods' win was greatest U.S. Open ever

That just about wraps it up. The weekend surpassed my already lofty expectations. Golf takes a little bit of a break over the next month, but you can bet your ass there will be a winning predication for the British in July.

Siberia or Uniondale... HMMM

Summer is just not a good time for me to be blogging, as I know you have all missed me very much. I’m going to attempt to be more diligent in posting during the summer months when all that goes on are football mini-camp reports, Tiger winning another major, and baseball playing another week in their 162000000 game schedule.

Luckily, I did find this little tid bit. Islander savior, Alexei Yashin, is back on the team’s radar. Oh what a joyous day. And if you heard a gunshot, that might be the sound of my colleague attempting to shoot himself. Somebody please call the police. Sure Yashin put up decent numbers, 16g 27a and 8g 6a in 16 playoff games, but he was in mother Russia and a comfortable situation, getting paid to live in obscurity by both the Islanders and his Russian team. If he comes back, he’ll want to get paid like the first line player he isn’t and that just seems dumb. The Islanders bought him out and they should just move on. The team mortgaged their future when they traded Chara, Spezza, Luongo, etc. Garth Snow would be wise to realize this team is going nowhere fast, stockpile young, high draft picks and finally rebuild instead of starting a rebuild and then changing the plan mid-way through.

Well there’s your update, now on to an even less popular sport in America, soccer. Yesterday, the 2nd round for the 2010 World Cup qualifiers began as the US took on Barbados in LA. Here are the highlights:


This absolutely cannot be good news for the US. Sure they won, but they were clearly a far superior team but continued to go to goal at every chance. Now as a kid I was always taught not to run up the score on an opponent because it could come back to bite you in the ass. Yes, I understand that it’s aggregate scoring, but are you really going to give up 8 goals away from home to a team you so clearly outclassed on the pitch? The answer is no, but you’ve put your team in jeopardy of bigger problems than losing the second leg. Now Barbados players and fans are angry that you embarrassed their team and they will be out for blood. If Bradley knows what’s good for his team he won’t play any of his important players, i.e. Donovan, Beasley, Dempsey, Onyewu etc. If those guys play, and I’m a Barbados player I’m going studs up into every tackle. I risk suspension but that player now has a broken leg and with only 3 substitutions, things could get messy for that US team. So congrats to team USA on the win, but running up the score to show off for the home fans has just put you in a most precarious position.

One last note about soccer, check out the Euro 2008 Championship going on on ESPN2 and ESPN Classic as it is about the highest level of soccer outside of the World Cup. And the English aren't in it so the number of teams that will disappoint you are less one.

Headlines: Looting, Nude Beaches, and the Little Blue Pill

It’s only Wednesday and we already got some crazy headlines. Let’s take a look…

Bellicheck’s 11

Well New England has hit a new low this weekend. Apparently, thieves broke into a Attleboro, MA jewelry store and stole a safe containing the Super Bowl rings that were soon to be given to members of the New York Giants front office staff. Each ring was valued at $25,000. Evidence suggests the assailants were wearing hooded sweatshirts with cut-off sleeves. I wonder if Ray Finkle was involved?

...Jeremy Shockey has been dispatched.

Big Men Hanging It Up

Michael Strahan hung it up after a Hall of Fame caliber career. What you probably missed was that the Ravens offensive tackle Jonathan Ogden decided to follow suit. Like Strahan, Ogden is retiring to focus on his actor career. If you have ever lived in the greater Baltimore area you probably remember this gem…

I hear they are considering for the role of the world-traveling paleontologist for the upcoming Jurassic Park 4.

Careful, You’re Ball Might Land in the Wrong Beach

While they will not be in the gallery for the U.S. Open this week, the Black's Beach Bares will certainly be right in the middle of the action – the nudist action that is. Apparently, just over the cliff behind the fourth green at Torrey Pines is a nude beach. Providing non-stop excitement in-between pairings, the gallery need only look behind them to find the nudists “playing volleyball, throwing the Frisbee, body surfing, building sandcastles, collecting seashells. Maybe playing some backgammon." Let’s just hope that the players take a little less club when hitting into the fourth green.

Talk about Your “Rising” Fastball

Why Rusty Hardin didn’t laugh and quickly reach for his briefcase when Roger Clemens told him the “whole story” is beyond me. It just never ends with this guy! The most recent reports on the troubled, former Red Sox pitcher (that’s right, we gave him back) is that he was stocking Viagra in his locker. Now you might ask, “Mr. Crasher, I don’t think I ever noticed Roger ‘at full attention’ while he was pitching? Was it just unbridled sexual energy that caused him to throw the bat at Piazza?” Well, my dear reader, it turns out Viagra has some helpful side effects including boosts to your endurance. Now I am no doctor (but I do play one on TV) but apparently, its helps increase blood flow not only “down below” but also throughout your body. So with the blue pill, you can either hang out with your middle-aged wife in separate bathtubs or win seven Cy Youngs.