The View Through Your Earpiece

The NHL is at it again!

2011-01-19T14:45:00.006-05:00

In what can only be described as another hair-brained idea, the NHL has come out with "The Guardian Project" in collaboration with 88 year old comic lord, Marvel's Stan Lee. I have nothing against the 88 year old Lee, but being 88 years old means his mental faculties are probably no longer all there, dooming this project from the get-go. The premise behind the NHL's latest in a long line of failed marketing ploys ("It's effing Tinkerbell!") is Lee and his team at Marvel created a super hero based on every NHL team. These 30 super heroes will take on some mysterious villain threatening the world and the NHL (ZOINKS!).

While this is undoubtedly a ridiculous under taking, it has become even more farcical than we here at Through Your Earpiece could have ever imagined. A quick look at bio snippets from our favorite Guardians reveal how strange this project is.

From The Blackhawk: He prides himself on being the guy who the others look to when situations look bleak. In his words, "Jump on my big shoulders and let's get it done."

Come on! Do I even need to explain this?

From The King: He's comfortable on the red carpet but far more likely to be found at a director's house discussing his latest film.

Yeah right... as long as the director is Roman Polanski.

The Oiler: He's gritty and tough like the roughneck oilrig workers he mostly associates with. He loves getting his hands dirty and not only doesn't he shy away from hard, physical work, he relishes it.

Uhhhh... why does this sound like a giant 950-pound behemoth trolling the Edmonton gay night life?

The Wild: The Wild isn't so much a superhero as he is a force of nature... the Wild chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem.

So the NHL Guardians are into porn fetishes?

Since I could do this about every guardian, but would rather not I'll leave you with this from the Shark: the Shark can change his demeanor at a moment's notice and exhibit a more tenacious side... and like actual sharks, poor eyesight (in fact he's almost blind).

But don't expect this hero to be around come May, he'll probably be on the golf course.

While the NHL has yet to reveal their menacing villain, we have some ideas as to what plagues the NHL which we will reveal in the near future!

Stay tuned! Same blog-time! Same blog-channel!

Punting Wins Championships

2011-01-18T09:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, maybe not championships. But while I was writing a season-ending tirade against the Giants, I noticed something. A couple of very good teams, better than the Seahawks, (both in wins and losses, offense stats, and defense stats) all have a common thread. The Giants, Chargers, Bucs, and Jaguars were all in the hunt during Week 17. The Rams were as well, but let’s just chalk that up to the anomaly that is the NFC West. All four of these teams fell short. Their offensive and defensive stats seem to vary, but there is one constant - bad punting.

A key punting stat is Net Punting Average, which demonstrates the resulting field position after the punt. While, of course, punt coverage must be considered, a punter has a significant affect on this statistic. A failed pooch punt into the end zone, a shanked punt out of bounds, low kicks, and short kicks, all will affect this statistic. The Bucs (#23), the Giants (#26), the Jaguars (#29), and the Chargers (#32) are all in the bottom ten in the league in this statistic.

Two of the top teams in offense and defense, the Giants and Chargers, also rank at the bottom of punts inside the 20. This can be a measure of distance but more often that not, it is the ability to avoid touchbacks and pin teams deep in their own end. The Chargers rank #32 with 13 punts inside the 20. This suggests that fewer than one time per game (barring a red zone turnover) that Chargers opponents started deep in their own territory. The Giants, ranked #27, had 20, which is more than once per game, but a far cry from the league leading 42 (Jets). The Jaguars (#15) and Bucs (#17) were not as dramatic but also in the lower echelon of the league. It is worth noting that both the Chargers and Giants were in the bottom of the league in total number of punts.

The most glaring example of punting issues was, of course, Matt Dodge against Philly. In the closing seconds of the game, Dodge needed to kick the ball out of bounds to give the Eagles one or two long plays to score. Instead, Dodge kicked it to DeShawn Jackson who took it to the house.

Alright, there is certainly more in play here. Maybe punting does not win championships. You could always take a page out of the Packers-Falcons game and just not punt at all. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.

More Proof the NHL is Behind the Times

2011-01-13T20:45:00.003-05:00

I'm all for edgy rock music being used it commercials.. it adds another layer of texture to the spot. Let's take the latest commercial for the NHL All Star game, taking place on January 30th here. A pretty cool bit showcasing some of the NHL's biggest stars. Listen closely to the music. The song that plays is Switchfoot's "Meant to Live." A catchy song that helped the band achieve mainstream success. Want to know what year this song was released? 2003. That's right. 2003! Marc Messier was still in the league in 2003. Sidney Crosby, the NHL's biggest name, was still playing at Shattuck St. Mary's before playing juniors in Canada. Couldn't the NHL have found a more recent song to go along with their commercial? Don't even get me started on the fact that Vancouver's Roberto Luongo, while featured in the commercial, isn't even participating in the game itself. Once again it's one step forward, two step back. I guess Robin Scherbatsky was right when she said, "The 80s didn't come to Canada til like '93." The trend continues.

Forbes should avoid sports

2010-12-02T16:11:00.002-05:00

So I realize sports is not Forbes' forte, but what is this? Any list that includes "Garth Snow" and "Best" should also include "at being a terrible GM" or "driving a franchise into the ground." Shockingly, this list considers Garth the 9th best at being a bang for your buck. Allow me to let that sink in. There are 30 GMs in the NHL, and Garth is ranked higher than 21 of them according to Forbes. Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either. I can't argue with Dave Poile at #1 because the Preds are consistently competitive without having a large payroll, but how does Doug Wilson rank ahead of Ken Holland? Holland has 3 cups as a GM, one as an assistant GM, and the Wings are the hallmark franchise in the league. I'd say that is a good bang for my buck. Wilson? 0 cups, but 6 years of playoff disappointment... Ouch. I could nit pick every GM on this list, except Brian Burke, because he can do no wrong, but I will refrain from that diatribe. At least Don Waddell and his 1 playoff performance made the list. Dude had Heatley and Kovalchuk on his roster and couldn't build a team around them.

Scoring In Your Own Net

2010-11-22T21:30:00.005-05:00

The on-ice play of the New York Islanders is just depressing. As Chris Botta recently pointed out, one day it’s a couple bad bounces, next day is bad goaltending, and next day is no offense. The Islanders are continuing a historic slump, which simply cannot be explained beyond, “simply being outmatched and outplayed.” It is safe to say that this meager blogger cannot begin to confront how to turn around this struggling team. What I can say is the New York Islanders have had more than their fair share of blunders off-the-ice that should never have happened.

The Isles 13 game losing streak has been eclipsed by their recent treatment of writer Chris Botta. As Misconduct noted below, Botta’s press credentials were revoked from the Islanders for being overly critical of the team. In an interview on WFAN, Botta explained that the team accused him of centering the story around himself and not the Islanders. This was a reference to a comment he made during the draft last summer when Garth Snow denied Botta an invitation to hear his comments about the draft class, while other reporters were granted access. Botta, dutifully reported, that Snow refused to comment to him.

The fact is hockey is not what it was in the United States, and most certainly, the New York Islanders are not the team they once were. This certainly put the organization in a tenuous position for fans. Diehards (yes, we are still out there) cry themselves to sleep each night, while the casual fans get driven farther and farther away. If the Isles PR continues on the track it has right now, they will literally not have enough people in Islander country to fill the NHL’s smallest arena – which is incidentally the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum.

The excommunication of Christ Botta may seem like a fleeting PR problem, but it really is indicative of a much deeper problem:

1. Losing an Ally - First, and most importantly, the Islanders lost an enormous ally in Botta. Botta had been with the organization prior to becoming a national sports writer. His passion for the Islanders was reflected in his blog www.islanderspointblank.com, which gave more analysis and reporting on the Isles in the last two years than ESPN has done in the last decade. It was nice to know that there were a national sportswriter looking out for our team.

2. Shortening the Bench – The Isles beat writing staff is down to one. With the revocation of Botta’s credentials, Newsday’s Katie Strang remains the last beat-writer standing. This is particularly troublesome since Newsday limits its content, even access to Strang’s blog, to Newsday and Optimum subscribers. If the Islanders are hoping to better reach out to fans this is not a good way to do it. Especially when beat-writer blogs have become the best way to get up-close access to your favorite teams. I get plenty of insight from the 3 Yankee Blogs and 2 Giants Blogs that I read. As for the Isles? Botta really was the only/best game in town. We can only hope that he continues to post despite this diminished access.

3. Driving Away Talent – The current organization does not discriminate when it drives talented people away from the team. We have lost free agents (Ryan Smyth), coaches (Peter Laviolette, Ted Nolan, and Scott Gorden), front office staff (Neil Smith and Pat Lafontaine), and now they have turned on the members of the media. In the off-season, we saw the Islanders interceding on contract negotiations between MSG and Billy Jaffe. Sources said that Jaffe had been overly critical of the team and asked that his contract not be extended. I thought Jaffe was a gifted commentator and so did Versus and NBC who picked him up for national telecasts. Now Botta. Let’s hope Howie Rose is not next after his comments, which, frustration aside, I tend to agree with. With this circumstances, how can the Islanders expect to attract quality writers and commentators? It's hard enough to find the Isles on MSG+, MSG+2, or The Ocho or wherever they are for TV and Hofstra University Radio!

4. Troubling Fans – Fans are and should be concerned with the way the Islanders handle these situations because it is indicative of how the franchise is run. Fans, before even wins, want to know the franchise is stable and not say…moving to Kansas City. They want to know the team is more than just a bargaining chip for owner Charles Wang’s Lighthouse Project. Who else but the Isles’ enemy #1, Chris Botta, defended Wang as an involved owner who genuinely cares about the team. But we need to hear it from Wang, Snow, and the organization. Good PR goes a long way on this front.

5. Appearances Help – We know the team is sucking money – like many NHL franchises. But come on! There is a dirty little secret about the Isles’ payroll that we should acknowledge. Without the buy-outs of Alexei Yashin and Brandon Witt (over $5M), the Islanders would be under the league minimum. Similarly, the Isles continue to pay injured players Kyle Okposo and Mark Streit instead of putting them on the injured list in order to stay above the salary floor. This may make good business sense, but let’s at least try to make it look like the Isles are focused on winning. Coughing a few extra bucks on players certainly is better than firing a talented Scott Gordon and talking about making the playoffs in the midst of a historic losing streak.

Have fun with unemployment Howie Rose

2010-11-22T11:06:00.002-05:00

I apologize to our Islander fan readers, but this team is so bad even the announcers don't want to watch anymore. In fact, Howie Rose would prefer watching the Mets... in spring training. Yes, those same Mets that have been ridiculed in Family Guy multiple times. Considering Chris Botta had his press credentials revoked for being too critical of the team, this does not bode well for Mr. Rose.

Movember Madness – First Round, Yosemite Sam Bracket

2010-11-16T14:33:00.005-05:00

#1 Lanny McDonald

versus

#8 Bobby Valentine

Outlook: Hall of Famer whose 'stache dominated the NHL for two decades. But did it have more utility than Bobby V's?

#2 Dennis Eckersley

versus

#7 Steve Prefontaine

Outlook: Eck's world-famous 'stache has taken him to the Hall and to the TBS Baseball Studio. It faces a tough competitor in Prefontaine's clearly aerodynamic look, which sent him to the 1972 Olympics.

#3 Mike Ditka

versus

#6 Jeff Fisher

Outlook: The most tenured coach in the NFL presently takes on "The Coach" whose legacy and 'stache have won Superbowl, made movies, and a studio job on ESPN.

#4 Randy Johnson

versus

#5 Don Mattingly

Outlook: The 'stache tells the story here. Mattingly's classic and consistent look was a metaphor for his on-field play. Johnson's look could often be entirely dominant, but not always what it used to be, he also killed a bird.

Remember to place your votes in the comments section! Let's get it on!

Movember Madness – First Round, Fu Manchu Bracket

2010-11-11T15:39:00.002-05:00

#1 Keith Hernandez

Versus

#8 Adam Morrison

Outlook: Look for a 30 point beat down and Hernandez to pull his starters, the reigning AMI champion takes on the college hoops phenom's trash 'stache.

#2 Hulk Hogan

Versus

#7 Mark Spitz

Outlook: A tricky match-up in the first round for the Hulk-'stache. Spitz is among the most dominant Olympians in history and his 'stache is a lasting image of him swimming dominance. Few 'staches on this list have endured the limelight as long as Hulk Hogan. Can Spitz stand up to Thunder Lips?

#3 Goose Gossage

Versus

#6 Mike Gartner

Outlook: The Battle of Recent Hall of Famers. Gossage's 'stache has become an icon, while Gartner's no-frills image is no different from his playing style.

#4 George Parros

Versus

#5 David Babych

Outlook: A compelling 4-5 in which both 'staches are more notable than the scoring ability of each player.

Movember Madness!!!

2010-11-11T15:36:00.002-05:00

Now this is a cause I can get behind! Men (and perhaps some women?) around the world are growing mustaches for the month of November to support prostate cancer awareness. Athletes such as Nick Swisher and George Parros have shaved and a growing fresh ‘staches in support of the cause. So, in that spirit, we here at the blog would like to introduce Movember Madness! A NCAA tournament style competition the puts the top 32 mustaches in sports against one another.

A brief mention off methodology. We deferred to the experts at the American Mustache Institute to come up with our top 6 mustaches: Keith Hernandez, Rollie Fingers, Al Hrabosky, Lanny McDonald, Dale Earnhardt, Hulk Hogan. These were the top six seeds in the tournament. The rest were chosen by a blue ribbon panel here at The View Through Your Earpiece. They were seeded and placed into four brackets: Fu Manchu, Tom Selleck, Groucho Marx, and Yosemite Sam.

We need your help, noble reader. In the comments section, please tell us who should win each match-up and why. We will tally the results and come back with the Sweet 16.

Night is Always Darkest Before the Dawn

2010-11-11T15:22:00.004-05:00

According to ESPN's Mark Kreidler, The Oakland Raiders are now America's Team, being handed the mantle from the now totally inept, Dallas Cowboys. For fear of our nation, I only read the tagline: Despite being a sloppy mess, the Raiders forge ahead. What's more American than that? Move over, Dallas. Oakland is now America's Team.

Frightening times indeed. Much like in The Dark Knight, we really have no idea how long the night will last. I believe Eli Manning is the hero America needs, but also the hero it deserves!

TELL IT GOODBYE! Joe Morgan Out at Sunday Night Baseball

2010-11-09T15:03:00.004-05:00

As reported by ESPN last night, Joe Morgan will not be returning to ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball. Of course, the blogsphere has already blown up with a resounding “good riddance.” Before getting into my own reflections, I point you attention to a great posting by NBC’s Craig Calcaterra that really put things in perspective. Calcattera certainly does not disagree with the criticism of Morgan - particularly the issue of being unprepared for games. He points to two interesting points: (1) Morgan’s performance, while less than stellar, did not overly detract from the game. That is, he did not over-analyze and his commentary could easily be ignored and rejected. (2) Morgan often rejected the importance of the very same statistics that demonstrated he was an excellent player. Check it out.

I certainly agree with Calcattera to a point. While I agree his flawed commentary could often be ignored, it was like getting punched in the stomach when you heard it. I swear, every Sunday Night game I watched, I would feel the need to call someone and yell, “He could not watch one other game this week!?” Occasionally, Morgan would allude to being at the ballpark on Saturday and catching the previous game but even that was far from a sure thing. My major gripe with him was that he would re-state these misconceptions that fans of the game knew to be false. There are few things more insulting than Morgan saying something like, “You know Derek Jeter is always so clutch, I think he gets a hit here.” When you, the fan, who had watched, Jeter go 0 for his last 8 with runners in scoring position over the last week, just want to cover your eyes and ears with your Mariano Duncan “we play today, we win today” shirt. The point is that the watching public wants more from commentators than what they hear from that guy at the water cooler who watches five minutes of SportsCenter while on the elliptical. Morgan had one game to prepare for every week, which gave him the potential to provide his viewers with insightful commentary that, at the very least, was rooted in recent events. This is compounded by the fact that ESPN Sunday Night Baseball is no ordinary telecast. It is the only nation-wide, exclusive telecast each week. That means fans are deprived of their regular hometown announcers who clearly have more experience and knowledge about the day-to-day performance of a team. Morgan need to at least attempt to match that.

It seems ESPN finally made the right call. Many blogs, especially the late great Fire Joe Morgan, reported that ESPN employees were insulted by Morgan’s lack of preparation for games, but of course, I have no basis beyond these unknown sources to believe that. Still, that fact should not matter. ESPN is a national network that should command the highest quality from their on-the-air personalities. This should be especially true for its primetime, national broadcast of its game of the week.

We are not going to belabor the point here. All the criticisms of Joe Morgan are well-known, and it seems to have taken ESPN a little too long to make the move. But, it has been made. Hopefully, ESPN will continue to use John Miller and Orel Hershiser who I think are well-suited for their national telecast.

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.

2010-11-05T12:09:00.001-04:00

Are we to believe that this is the actual Machine or is it a Tonight SHow hoax?

Guest Bloggers Galore!

2010-11-04T10:33:00.002-04:00

Today we have a special guest blogger, JD. JD goes way back with TYRE, so we trust him, even if he is another Islander fans. Let's see what he has to say:

I'm still furious the Islanders sent Nino Niederreiter back to juniors.

As a season ticket holder and someone who will watch almost all 82-games this season, the Isles product was better with Niederreiter on the ice.

Since the Isles sent Niederreiter back to juniors after his nine game test run, the Isles have gone 0-3, losing a combined 16 to 4 in those three games. Sure, the Isles have lost the last five games they’ve played, but with El Nino in the lineup for the first two losses of this Islanders’ five-game losing streak, the team lost a one-goal game to Florida on October 23rd and a close one in Montreal, 5-3 on October 27th. Andrei Kostitsyn scored an empty net goal for the Habs, otherwise it would have been a one-goal game, as well.

I’m not saying El Nino would have made an overwhelming offensive impact. He scored a goal and an assist in his first 9 NHL games, but you could see him progressing with each game. One of the last images I have of El Nino playing was watching him back-check and breaking up a play with a diving attempt. I miss that. I want to see more of that hustle and defensive responsibility from the rest of the team.

The Isles talked about depth at forward as a reason it made sense not to rush El Nino along. Well, Bruno Gervais played forward against Montreal on Saturday night (as a 7th defenseman) and last night, Rob Schremp, centered the third line. Schremp's contribution: a -4 rating, a bad boarding penalty, and a secondary assist on a play Blake Comeau and PA Parenteau did all the work.

Yes, I'm aware Kyle Okposo will be back, but then sit Hunter, send Sim to the minors, and only dress Gillies for games you know you need the muscle, such as the Flyers v. Isles game this coming Saturday.

The most important thing people who believed sending El Nino back to Portland was the best decision are missing: team chemistry. There’s no stat for a player’s chemistry on and off the ice other than looking at wins and losses. The first nine games of the season, the Islanders were 4-3-2.

Talent wise, let’s compare El Nino to the Isles beloved Trent Hunter. In 9 games this season, Hunter also has 2 points with no goals. Well, Hunter is a physical presence you say? Hunter has 13 hits in nine games, that’s three less than Niederreiter. Hunter has also taken careless penalties and has 21 total penalty minutes so far this season. At least Niederreiter has drawn two penalties this season to go with his PIMs.

For those who ripped on El Nino’s .083 shooting percentage, it beats Comeau’s .081 and Frans Nielsen’s .071, as well as Hunter and Jon Sim’s .000.

If Coach Gordon has to “baby” Niederreiter, that’s fine. His nickname El Nino means “the boy” in Spanish, not the man. So, if bringing Niederreiter along means starting him off on offensive zone face-offs, which in turns leads to Isles “W’s” I’m all for it. Baby him all you want. Maybe the strategy was actually working.

For those who say, “try thinking long term,” I am. A day in the NHL is better than a day in juniors. Even if he’s not lighting up other teenagers, he’s gaining invaluable experience at the NHL level. If you want to talk about helping his confidence level, how does sending him back to Portland do that? It had to make him think his play wasn’t worthwhile on the current Isles team, which it was.

Lighhousehockey.com posted an interview Niederreiter did with a Swiss newspaper, 20 Minuten, with the emphasis being on Niederreiter saying, “I don’t belong there.” “There” meaning the “NHL.” Talk about a loss of confidence from a guy who proved he could play in the NHL.

To me, the most telling part of the interview is his answer to this question:

Question: Can you learn (how to be an NHL regular) in a junior league like the WHL?

Niederreiter’s Answer: This question is justified. Usually, you always play at your opponent's level and in the WHL the level is lower than in the NHL. Therefore, despite weaker opponents, I am seeking to play like I did in the NHL. It's the only way to grow my play.

He admits that the only way to become better is to play in the NHL, but has a great attitude, anyway. He appears to be a team player, not someone who should be living with a host family in Portland. Now, that’s really “babying” the guy.

What I know: I wish Niederreiter was still playing for the big club. He showed early signs of his ability as a power forward and played a complete, solid two-way game. He fit in nicely on the Doug Weight and Michael Grabner line. It’s a shame he’s gone. I’ll be looking forward to El Nino’s return, next year.

Ominous beginnings?

2010-11-02T16:48:00.001-04:00

How did we NOT see this one coming? Heaven Bless the New York Knicks. Possibly the most dysfunctional organization in sports.

The Dallas Cowboys: Truly America's Team

2010-11-02T10:47:00.004-04:00

If America were a bunch of quitters! Good thing we're not. According to ESPN's Matt Mosley, David Garrad called out the Cowboys for their dispassionate play.

They have a bajillion dollar stadium, talented players out the wazoo, and a respectable tradition to play for, and they get called out by David Garrard? Not exactly a pro-bowler accustomed to making headlines with his mouth and his play. David Garrard! What the hell is wrong with this team? Where's the pride? Where's the passion? Where is Herb Brooks when you need him? The Cowboys have won our first ever Richard Nixon Early Quitter Award sponsored by Philip Morris. (Philip Morris, please don't sue us.) My bet on our next recipient of this award being the New Jersey Devils, but none of you care about hockey, so it doesn't matter to you punks.

It's Good to Be Back

2010-11-02T10:20:00.003-04:00

Oh, so much to talk about! Randy Moss waived after someone ordered some bad Chinese food!Mike Shanahan benches McNabb for the final drive of the game in favor of Rex Grossman!Tiger Woods finally loses his number one spot! The Islanders still suck! We will get into all of it right here at the Second Coming....

But most importantly, I wanna rage...right now.

Getting the word out

2010-11-01T16:10:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this was supposed to be a sports blog, but we're just going to write about whatever we want. That being the case, I need to get the word out on the best show on TV right now. The cast of characters is the most interesting since Seinfeld. Fact. Watch Community. Trust me.

Just like us, they're back!

2010-11-01T10:49:00.002-04:00

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-gb&brand=v5%5E544x306&from=sp&vid=1b36d664-8609-4637-9dbb-892bd6918703" target="_new" title="Exclusive: Paul - Trailer">Video: Exclusive: Paul - Trailer</a>

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are back. Their movies remind me a little bit of the Broken Lizard guys; whenever they get together their movies are hilarious even if their reviews pan. Sure there are only two movies to base this argument off of (Shaun of the Dead and Hott Fuzz), but those are two pretty funny movies. They've brought in Seth Rogen to do the voice of the titular character, Paul, which is a pretty good start, see Kung Fu Panda. If you haven't seen that movie, you probably shouldn't be reading this blog.

Brett Brett go night night

2010-11-01T09:58:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure how I feel about this being the first post of the Through Your Earpiece Revival (TYRE), but this is too good to pass up. I know, I know, everyone writes about Brett Favre and we're supposed to be better than everyone else, but this is hilarious. He's curled up in the fetal position just takin' naps on the medical cart. On another note I think TYRE could pass for a CCR tribute band name.

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

2010-10-29T14:49:00.002-04:00

After a long hiatus, look for the return of Game Misconduct and the Net Crasher! Coming November 2010.

FANTASY PREVIEW!!!!!!!

2008-08-21T15:47:00.002-04:00

It's that time of year again, all the major media outlets are buzzing with fantasy news: who's in, who's out, who's injured, who's in prison, and who's going to have a breakout year. Watercoolers are boiling over with fantasy talk as people's wallets go thin from their keeper league buy-ins. All the major sports publications and outlets are giving their fantasy predictions to help out their loyal readers. These facts make it perplexing that ESPN decided to release their HOCKEY fantasy preview on August 21st seeing as how training camps are still almost a month away.
Here is the link, click at your own risk:

http://games.espn.go.com/fhl/tools/projections?display=alt

I understand the constant football updates because it is so widespread, but why this hockey preview so early? It seems as the World Wide Leader has completely lost interest in the League. My head almost exploded reading their top fifteen, that was until i read their goaltender rankings, when i vomited all over my office computer. The Asian IT guy was not pleased. Sparing you all the pain of me dissecting every terrible prognostication, I'm going to give you my favorite. That is the pick of Jose Theodore at #7 overall. OVERALL! Not just #7 goaltender, which is probably even a bit high, but 7 out of the entire league! I'm speechless. A few seasons ago, this guys was replaced by Peter Budaj, after he was ousted from Montreal. And suddenly ESPN thinks he's the 7th most valuable player in the league?

In closing I would like to send a memo out to ESPN:
Please stop using your interns to compile crappy lists that are written poorly just to generate discussion amongst the 15 hockey fans that still remain. Instead, when people click on your NHL page, forward the surfers to either TSN.ca or sportsnet.ca thus saving you money because you dont have to employ lackeys that know nothing about the sport to write your articles.
Thanks,
GM

Offseason Lookout: Teams no one cares about in a League no one cares about

2008-06-30T13:46:00.005-04:00

On the eve of Canada Day and the first day of NHL free agency, I figured I’d take a look at the moves some of the smaller market teams have made, and how they look moving forward to next season. Here’s a look at the biggest mover and shakers (it’s all relative) so far since the start of the off-season and leading up to today.

Tampa Bay: After finishing with the lowest wins in the league just 4 years removed from their Stanley Cup championship, the ‘Ning have under gone a total facelift. They were terrible last year due to a shallow line-up, poor goaltending, and Dan Boyle’s inability to dodge flying skate blades. With new ownership led by Oren Koules of the Saw film franchise, the Lightning are at least trying to make things interesting in the hum-drum NHL. For starters, in NFL fashion the team made it clear they were going to draft Steven Stamkos with the first overall pick. Stamkos has been compared to Sakic and Yzerman, but has not garnered as much fan-fare as Crosby or Ovechkin. He should help the team, but I don’t see him being an impact player at the age of 18 next season. It was noteworthy that with their last pick, the Lightning drafted David Carle, brother of Sharks D-man Matt, who was touted as a second round pick, but will probably never play hockey again due to a congenital heart disease which was discovered at the Draft Combine. That was truly a classy move.

Continuing with their trend, the Lightning brought Barry Melrose out of ESPN studios and put him back behind the bench. I still maintain that this was a bad personnel move due to Melrose’s poor record as a head coach, and the fact that he hasn’t coached an NHL game in almost 15 years. His success as a coach came due to some guy named Gretzky, but his hiring is more about the publicity and notoriety his name brings than his coaching acumen.

Most recently, Tampa signed former Penguins wingers Ryan Malone and Gary Roberts. Malone got a 7 year $31.5 million contract for scoring 27 goals as Geno Malkin’s winger. That’s $4.5 mil for 27 goals! 27! Not even a 30 goal season. This signing continues in a long line of overpaid and lengthy contracts that will bite the team and the league in the ass within the next 2-3 years. Let’s not even discuss that Tampa still lacks a proven #1 goalie and their backline is Dan Boyle, Paul Ranger, and Shane O’Brien. These guys are more likely to hit the bar more than their opponents. At least Vinny Lecavalier is still really good and will be there for the next 9 years after signing a contract extension.

LA: The Kings are building the right way and are positioning themselves for lots of success in the future. Yes, they traded Mike Cammalleri to Flames, but the future of this team lies within Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty (giving them the ol’ one two), Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, Alex Frolov, and Paddy O’Sullivan, and Jon Bernier. As long as Dan Cloutier and Marc Crawford are kept as far away as possible, this team has a bright future. The addition of Matt Greene, and Jarret Stoll for Lubo Visnovsky makes the Kings younger and gives them more depth up the middle behind Kopitar and some beef in front of their own net.

Phoenix: A team to be reckoned with as early as next season will be the Phoenix Coyotes. With a ful season from Ilya Bryzgalov backed up by Al Montoya, the ‘yotes should have a very promising goaltending tandem for the next few years. Don Maloney has been doing a better job in the desert than he did with the Islanders, but that’s not saying much. The acquisition of Olli Jokinen for Nick Boynton and Keith Ballard might have hurt the team’s defensive depth, but it takes pressure off kids Kyle Turris, Peter Mueller, and Martin Hanzal, while giving veteran responsibility to Jokinen, Captain Shane Doan, and a revived Jovo-cop. I expect the ‘Yotes to be a competitor in the West and push for a playoff spot next season.

Islanders Draft Wrap

2008-06-24T10:25:00.002-04:00

NHL draft analysis. Not even ESPN does this! I just checked Long Island’s Newsday to see their coverage of the Islanders draft class, and I should have been surprised to see that the only shred of analysis from Islander bear writer Greg Logan was “They’d better be right.” I appreciate his going out on a limb.

Now in Mr. Logan’s defense – what do you say? No one cares about the NHL draft, as such there is no coverage. For the most part, NBA fans get to watch their draft picks play in the NCAA tournament. MLB fans, to a lesser extent, have the College World Series and a strong enough fan base that makes it worth the time of analysts to seek out high school and foreign born players. The most egregious example is, of course, the NFL. A league whose Scouting Combine is televised and its talent pool comes almost exclusively from Division 1 college football which has its own analysts. For the NHL, Mr. Logan would have to literally go to games in Canadian junior leagues, European junior leagues, American colleges, American high schools, and beyond. The NHL truly draws from a global pool of talent.

That said, can we try to get some information? Are these players good fits? Is Garth Snow’s characterization of each player correct? The Islanders clearly had a controversial strategy in the draft – was it correct? For what it’s worth, here are my thoughts:

Obviously, first round pick Josh Bailey will be the most scrutinized. Having passed up the fifth overall pick in a draft that was said to have six real bright stars, anything short of Bailey making an all-star game could make him a failure. Still, there is logic in their decision. For one thing, Snow viewed him as the second best forward on the board and the Islanders must certainly need productive forwards after rounding at the bottom of the league in scoring. If this is true, Bailey is a steal. Also, with the exception of Trent Hunter, Bruno Gervais, and Chris Campoli, the Isles system has not produced many players fit for success in the NHL. When was the last time it produced a scorer? (The jury is still out on Comeau and Okposo). Perhaps the Isles needed to clean house.

I disagree with the Isles’ fans who booed after the Isles traded down for Bailey. The problems faced by this team cannot be alleviated by one 19 year-old center. The Isles needs to start building a strong system that will allow them to trade prospects for a top-tier scorer and have a supporting cast in place for that scorer. A new building will also be crucial for the Isles to attract any superstar to the team, as Ryan Smyth’s quick departure truly showed what players think of Long Island. The goalie is in place, the defense is getting solid, there are only a few pieces left to the puzzle. It will take a steady hand by Garth Snow to make sure the Isles stay on course. He seems to have risen to the challenge in the 2008 draft.

He’d better be right.

Good thing I'm not a psychic

2008-06-23T14:33:00.002-04:00

I should clearly stick to prognosticating NHL results and stop there. First, i figured and hoped that the Netherlands would be victorious in their match against the feisty Russians Saturday afternoon. I was wrong. Dead wrong. The Russian beat the Dutch at their own game by attacking relentlessly in what was a back and forth, and actually exciting game of soccer to watch. The Russians were touted as an upstart and youthful team with the ability to score goal on a porous Dutch defense, but the Dutch, masters of attack and pretty ball control were veterans of this style. They got beat at their own game as they looked to be on their heels for the entire match, especially the 30 minutes of extra time where the Russians scored twice to seal the victory.

On Sunday, in the second leg of World Cup qaulifying, I said that the Americans would face the wrath of an angry and embarassed Barbados team and fan base. Again, I was wrong as the Americans won the match 1-0 (9-0 aggregate) with little to no fan fare as a bigger game, Italy vs. Spain, took place at the same time. This game ended up being just as exciting as watching paint dry because I was hungover and because Italy decided to play the defensive soccer that Americans hate. Rightfully so after being treated to excitement and majesty on Saturday. Instead the Italians tried to play to get to penalties, and when they did, they still lost. As much as I wanted them to win the battle of hair products, they deserved to lose this game as their strategery drained the life out of the game from the opening kickoff. Thankfully they are out of the tournament and may be rethinking their defensive coaching tactics instead of forcing the issue agaisnt the Spaniards. So that's that, and the Germans are probably going to win it all, although those Ruskies are so gosh darned plucky I wouldn't mind seeing them hoist the trophy.

Tiger Woods and the Net Crasher Squeeze Out Some Big Wins

2008-06-17T14:52:00.002-04:00

You heard it here first folks. ESPN’s golf experts shied away from Tiger maybe because of his knee surgery, maybe because he was too obvious of a choice, who really knows. But ESPN.com’s predications were as such:

Bob Harig (ESPN.com contributor) – Phil Mickelson

Jason Sobel (ESPN.com golf writer) – Phil Mickelson

John Antonini (Golf World senior editor) - Phil Mickelson

Ron Sirak (Golf World executive editor) - Anthony Kim

Meanwhile, on the humble pages of The View Through Your Earpiece, yours truly was making the correct prediction. Not only did I pick Tiger Woods but I correctly suggested he would card a -1 this weekend at Torrey Pines. As a matter of fact, I was so confident with this pick it is the first text on our blog to be written in red.

Still, why Woods won really went beyond what I wrote (and anyone else for that matter). Yes, Woods has been dominant at Torrey Pines in years past, but this clearly was not the Torrey Pines that we had seen in years past. Increased yardage, five inch rough, short par 5s and long par 4s. With one of the strongest fields in golf, no one came close to the double digit red numbers that we had seen previous Buick Invitational events. Similarly, Woods’ knee didn’t really hold up, as predicted. But he persevered despite it. Just as he played through the pain he played through during the Masters, Woods grinded out a win that even he didn’t think he pull out.

Here are a couple parting thoughts on what was a great weekend in San Diego…

- A prime-time nail biter involving Tiger Woods. The PGA could not have asked for a better set-up. With over 13 million viewers, it blew out the other networks and rivaled ABC’s coverage of the NBA finals, which immediately followed.

- Golf is not boaring! What’s wrong with you people??? Phil falls apart, Tiger claws back in the 4^th round, Rocco claws back in the 18^th hole playoff, and 5 rounds of golf and Tiger and Rocco still had the same score. So many storylines, so much excitement. Do me a favor and watch the British Open next month.

- The US Open Long Baller Theory continues to apply but just barely. Rocco Mediate (62^nd in driving distance) would have turned the theory on its head. But Woods was second in the field in driving distance and a pretty pathetic 56^th in fairways hit. Woods was stilling hitting greens in regulation (T-14^th in the field) and putted well. This includes some pretty remarkable shots including two eagle putts in the fourth round, his approach on the 19^th hole of the tie-breaker, his chip-in on 17 in the fourth round, and his shot out of the sand on the 15^th during the playoff.

- Drive for Show and Putt for Dough. Woods and Mediate were tied for 11^th in the field in putting. This is a pretty good ranking to have, as the top putters in the field are usually lower in the field because it takes them an extra shot to put it on the green. The first, second, and fourth ranked putters did not break the top 30.

- It will be hard for anyone to not cheer for Rocco Mediate in the future. The guy was all smiles throughout what was no doubt the most pressure he faced in his career. Although, as Johnny Miller interestingly pointed out, this might have been a psychological ploy to get Tiger off his game. I doubt it, but hats off to Rocco if he figured that one out.

- Phil Mickelson’s role as golf’s #2 should be seriously questioned after this week. The whole driver/no driver switch should not be viewed as a good adjustment but as a major lack of preparation on Phil’s part.

- It was nice to see Ernie Els put up a good number. I sure would love to see him win the British Open.

- Will Tiger be back to 100% for the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale on July 17? Will it matter?

- Bethpage Black in 2009. Can't wait! Nothing mixes better than New York fans and golf.

I could write a bunch of platitudes nows about how this was the greatest Open ever and how great of a sport golf is, but I'll leave that to the great writing of Gene Wojciechowski and Pat Forde.

Wojciechowski: Golf comes up aces: Tiger, Rocco save world of sports

Forde: A Torrey Story: Woods' win was greatest U.S. Open ever

That just about wraps it up. The weekend surpassed my already lofty expectations. Golf takes a little bit of a break over the next month, but you can bet your ass there will be a winning predication for the British in July.

Siberia or Uniondale... HMMM

2008-06-16T14:15:00.001-04:00

Summer is just not a good time for me to be blogging, as I know you have all missed me very much. I’m going to attempt to be more diligent in posting during the summer months when all that goes on are football mini-camp reports, Tiger winning another major, and baseball playing another week in their 162000000 game schedule.

Luckily, I did find this little tid bit. Islander savior, Alexei Yashin, is back on the team’s radar. Oh what a joyous day. And if you heard a gunshot, that might be the sound of my colleague attempting to shoot himself. Somebody please call the police. Sure Yashin put up decent numbers, 16g 27a and 8g 6a in 16 playoff games, but he was in mother Russia and a comfortable situation, getting paid to live in obscurity by both the Islanders and his Russian team. If he comes back, he’ll want to get paid like the first line player he isn’t and that just seems dumb. The Islanders bought him out and they should just move on. The team mortgaged their future when they traded Chara, Spezza, Luongo, etc. Garth Snow would be wise to realize this team is going nowhere fast, stockpile young, high draft picks and finally rebuild instead of starting a rebuild and then changing the plan mid-way through.

Well there’s your update, now on to an even less popular sport in America, soccer. Yesterday, the 2nd round for the 2010 World Cup qualifiers began as the US took on Barbados in LA. Here are the highlights:

This absolutely cannot be good news for the US. Sure they won, but they were clearly a far superior team but continued to go to goal at every chance. Now as a kid I was always taught not to run up the score on an opponent because it could come back to bite you in the ass. Yes, I understand that it’s aggregate scoring, but are you really going to give up 8 goals away from home to a team you so clearly outclassed on the pitch? The answer is no, but you’ve put your team in jeopardy of bigger problems than losing the second leg. Now Barbados players and fans are angry that you embarrassed their team and they will be out for blood. If Bradley knows what’s good for his team he won’t play any of his important players, i.e. Donovan, Beasley, Dempsey, Onyewu etc. If those guys play, and I’m a Barbados player I’m going studs up into every tackle. I risk suspension but that player now has a broken leg and with only 3 substitutions, things could get messy for that US team. So congrats to team USA on the win, but running up the score to show off for the home fans has just put you in a most precarious position.

One last note about soccer, check out the Euro 2008 Championship going on on ESPN2 and ESPN Classic as it is about the highest level of soccer outside of the World Cup. And the English aren't in it so the number of teams that will disappoint you are less one.

Headlines: Looting, Nude Beaches, and the Little Blue Pill

2008-06-11T16:41:00.002-04:00

It’s only Wednesday and we already got some crazy headlines. Let’s take a look…

Bellicheck’s 11

Well New England has hit a new low this weekend. Apparently, thieves broke into a Attleboro, MA jewelry store and stole a safe containing the Super Bowl rings that were soon to be given to members of the New York Giants front office staff. Each ring was valued at $25,000. Evidence suggests the assailants were wearing hooded sweatshirts with cut-off sleeves. I wonder if Ray Finkle was involved?

...Jeremy Shockey has been dispatched.

Big Men Hanging It Up

Michael Strahan hung it up after a Hall of Fame caliber career. What you probably missed was that the Ravens offensive tackle Jonathan Ogden decided to follow suit. Like Strahan, Ogden is retiring to focus on his actor career. If you have ever lived in the greater Baltimore area you probably remember this gem…

I hear they are considering for the role of the world-traveling paleontologist for the upcoming Jurassic Park 4.

Careful, You’re Ball Might Land in the Wrong Beach

While they will not be in the gallery for the U.S. Open this week, the Black's Beach Bares will certainly be right in the middle of the action – the nudist action that is. Apparently, just over the cliff behind the fourth green at Torrey Pines is a nude beach. Providing non-stop excitement in-between pairings, the gallery need only look behind them to find the nudists “playing volleyball, throwing the Frisbee, body surfing, building sandcastles, collecting seashells. Maybe playing some backgammon." Let’s just hope that the players take a little less club when hitting into the fourth green.

Talk about Your “Rising” Fastball

Why Rusty Hardin didn’t laugh and quickly reach for his briefcase when Roger Clemens told him the “whole story” is beyond me. It just never ends with this guy! The most recent reports on the troubled, former Red Sox pitcher (that’s right, we gave him back) is that he was stocking Viagra in his locker. Now you might ask, “Mr. Crasher, I don’t think I ever noticed Roger ‘at full attention’ while he was pitching? Was it just unbridled sexual energy that caused him to throw the bat at Piazza?” Well, my dear reader, it turns out Viagra has some helpful side effects including boosts to your endurance. Now I am no doctor (but I do play one on TV) but apparently, its helps increase blood flow not only “down below” but also throughout your body. So with the blue pill, you can either hang out with your middle-aged wife in separate bathtubs or win seven Cy Youngs.

US Open Preview

2008-06-11T14:18:00.002-04:00

One thing I love about golf’s grand slam is how very unique each of the four tournaments are. The perfectly manicured greens at Augusta, the afternoon winds and links course set-ups at the Open Championship, and players at the peak of their game ending the season at the PGA Championship. Still, the US Open is my favorite weekend of the golf year. You get to see of one of the United States’ more beautiful golf courses re-engineered into an absolute monster. More length, harder fairways, thicker rough, faster green – you name, the US Open has it all. A perfect round is just not in the works during the US Open. It is all about which player can recover best from his mistakes and avoid putting big numbers on his card. The winners of the last two Open’s have been no where near even par.

This year will be no exception. ESPN’s Bob Harig refers the conditions at the Open to be “stupid.” After its upgrade from the Buick Invitational in January, Torrey Pines will become the longest course in the history of the US Open and its par will be changed to 71 with the sixth hole being converted from a par 5 to a 515-yard par 4. The rough has significantly thickened and the greens have been firmed up. Expect this year’s Open, like year’s past, to have very little red on the leader board.

The Picks:

Group 7 (Mickelson – Scott – Woods)

If I had to bet on one group this would be it. (Yes, I know they are the top three players in the world). Lefty grew up in the San Diego area and played Torrey Pines during his high school days. He has played the Buick Invitational at or under par each of the last five years (going as low as -10 in 2003). If Lefty can keep his drives in the middle of the fairway, he has a good shot.

Tiger Woods is always a favorite (especially when you count him out) Woods has already won at Torrey Pines in January with a staggering score of -19. In stroke play this year, he has two wins (plus one match win) and is a combined -49 in four tournaments. If that knee can hold up (and it did in Augusta), one can’t look past Tiger’s past dominance at Torrey Pines. Look for him to win the tournament at -1.

Adam Scott’s long drives (8^th in 2008 driving distance) could be a clear advantage under the absurd Open conditions. Bob Harig discussed the strange anomaly of the long-hitters doing well at the US Open in recent times when you would think the tough conditions would favor an accurate player. His conclusion was that since everyone was getting screwed with the tough rough, the guy that is in the rough closer to the hole is in better shape. Scott’s ability to hit greens in regulation this year (15^th on tour) suggests he has got a shot at tackling Torrey Pines. Let’s see how his finger holds up.

Dark Horse: Mike Weir

Ok, so throw the whole long-baller out the window with Weir. Still he is playing great golf this year in competitive tournaments. Weir has been in the spotlight before and won at Augusta back when critics were saying that course was for long-ballers. It was draw, for me, between Weird and Garcia and unfortunately for Sergio, Weir’s better with the flat stick.

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

2008-06-10T12:50:00.003-04:00

Everyone remember those geocities sites from back in the day? You could pick one of three backgrounds and set-up your own little tribute to Derek Jeter or the Backstreet Boys (or both!). Anyway, I just came across one for Mike Milbury. That’s right…fuckin’ Mad Mike himself. I immediately assumed this was a joke. I mean the website does have a purple background and tells us that Mad Mike’s astrological sign is “Sun in Gemeni and Moon in Aries” – whatever the hell that means. But as I continued to read, gripped to the screen, as if Elisa Cuthbert were poised to ring my doorbell and ask for a dry change of clothes, I realized this was no joke. Our dear friend, who we can only identify from an e-mail address which starts with MJM, is dead serious. And what’s more? MJM are Michael J. Milbury’s initials. Oh this is just too good. Mike Milbury seems to have made a geocities site praising himself! “Loser anti-Milbury’s” need not apply” he reminds us. I didn’t realize there were pro-Milburys until I came across MJM. Did anyone actually e-mail this guy???

We will assume that this whole MJM thing is a strange coincidence (like needle marks in Roger Clemens buttox) and that he is indeed not Mike Milbury.

I spent way too much time on this website and have pulled some of my favorite quotes for your enjoyment. Islander fans, I would probably stop reading, as this website seems to rehash some of the most painful years in Islander history with an absurd sense of optimism. By MJM’s standards, we should have another 4 straight Stanley Cups by 2008 led by our leading scorer Robert Reichel….that’s right. Why in the world would we trade Robert Reichel? Now I see how this MJM character thinks.

The Mike Milbury Tribute Page…The Only One of Its Kind!

I’d say so. These tribute pages are usually reserved for good people. People who save franchises, not run them into the ground. Either that or for stalker-tastic middle aged men who need someway of expressing their strange obsession with a young female celebrity. Now, MJM, which category do you fall into?

"You, from New York, you are so relevant....Luminous more so than most anyone; unapologetically alive." - Alanis Morissette

Follow it up with an Alanis Morisette quote…I am starting to think this is the later.

For those completely in the dark (SHAME ON YOU!), Mike Milbury is the ex-coach and general manager of my favorite hockey team, the New York Islanders. He's also the COOLEST guy ever! He has no regard for formalities, and he'll tell it like it is to your face without a hint of guilt. He'll also beat you with a shoe if you taunt him enough! AND THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM!

He also is responsible for some of the most retarded trades in the history of the professional sports. I don’t know what the deal is with this “we love him.” I mean…I usually reserve love for the most important things in my life: pizza, Xbox, my lucky Jofa hockey stick, and Alex Rodriguez. I like to think that me and the rest of the God-fearing world do not “love” individuals who peak their career with going into the stands and beating someone with a shoe and then follow it up with being a shitty General Manager.

September 17, 1999:

Well, training camp for the 1999-2000 season has begun, and the Isles are fixin' to get some new owners. Sounds like good news, right? Maybe not. Rumor has it that if new owners come in, Mike's gonna be shipped out.

I'm sure you're all waiting for me to go on a rampage and stuff, but to tell you the truth, I'm strangely apathetic about it at this point. If you must know, there was a "transaction" that took place over the summer that Mike either master-minded or just simply aided and abetted. It had nothing to do with the Isles, but it affected me personally and directly. I won't go into it, but let's just say Mike being kicked outta Long Island would make up for it in some small way. Oh, I still love Mike and all, but some amends must be made. Sorry, Mike. :-(

It took six years for Charles Wang to come to his sense and send Milbury packing. We all have MJM to thank of his wishful thinking. And speaking of amends that need to be made…how about for trades that did have something to do with the Isles: how about trading Bertuzzi and McCabe for Trevor Linden and then releasing Trevor Linden. Or trading Ziggy Palfy for peanuts. The one bright spot in the trade, Olli Jokinen and a first round pick were quickly squandered. This was, of course, just 1999. Sorry, MJM. :-(

March 24, 1999:

Robert Reichel was sent to the Phoenix Coyotes for left wing Brad Isbister. Here's something I don't get. Reichel was the Isles leading scorer. True, his leadingness would have measured up to obscurity on any other team, but that's beside the point. We obviously need scorers. I don't see how trading a scorer is gonna help matters!

Tommy Salo was FINALLY traded to the Edmonton Oilers for winder Mats Lindgren. I can rest in peace now that Whiner-Boy is gone. With him around, it makes Mike look like this big ogre with some evil Golden Whip of Obscurity that he can snap at any time whenever he feels like it to send you running shrieking into his doghouse and lay there cold and afraid until he falls asleep. Of course, it still seems like we got the load end of the pan with Lindgren. I've never heard of him, but you can't expect to get much in exchange for Salo, n'est-ce pas?

In March of 1999, Robert Reichel had 56 points (19 goals, 37 assists). Does that even qualify you as a leading scorer? Doesn’t that just make you least worst! Unbelievable. Lindgren for Salo! What a fuckin no-brainer! Salo only went on to make the NHL All-Star team with Oilers for the next two years and set the Oilers record for lowest GAA. Mats Lindgren scored six goals as a New York Islander.

January 21, 1999:

The Anti-Milbury Brigade has reached an all-time low.

Add Islanders sportswriter Marc Berman to the list, and about 12,000 Islander fans. Last night at Nassau Colosseum, as the Isles got spanked for the 11th straight time, this time by the Panthers, chants of "Mike Must Go!" echoed through the building. It absolutely amazes me how people can blame a coach before they even look at the players.

Ok, fine MJM. Let’s not blame Coach Milbury. We should blame the dumbass that assembled this underperforming team. Oh wait! They are one in the same!

…Milbury fired himself later that day. Milbury Brigade 5, Anti-Milbury Brigade 1

January 17, 1999: Leave it to the Islanders to be on the losing side of a game that sees only one goal scored through the entire night.

The Isles were back in Florida last night hoping to avenge themselves against the Panthers after a dismal 5-1 loss on Decemeber 28 (in which I was in attendance, thank you very much). Not only did the Isles lose the game again, but they also lost All-Star defenseman Kenny Jonsson again! My Lord, what is UP with this kid?! Anyways, he sprained his knee and could be out for the season, but, for some reason, the poor deluded Jonsson still thinks he's going to the All-Star game this weekend (*sigh* Must be the concussion still looming). Since the NHL has adopted this annoying North America vs. The World system for the All-Star game, Jonsson's replacement has to be an Easterner. My pick is for Robert Reichel. Speculation is that Mike will choose Zdeno Chara. It's well-known that Mike thinks very highly of him - though I can't understand why at all! I saw this big lug get pummelled on Decemeber 28 by about a dozen Panthers players half his size (6-9)!! PU-LEEZE!

I had to pick this one for so many reasons. First of all, let’s talk about the sad state of affairs going on here. The Isles all-star was going to be Kenny Jonsson with Robert Reichel as his back-up. The Isles just got shut out by the Florida Panthers to whom they would soon be trading their back-up goalie Roberto Luango. We’ll see how that pans out for them. Finally, I wonder if our dear friend MJM knows where Chara is now. Probably lending his 6’9” body to the circus or maybe staring in My Giant II. Or perhaps, he’s a perennial all-star who is in consideration for the Norris trophy every year. PU-LEEZE!

From the Milbury Quotes Page:

On Eric Fichaud after his NHL debut, a win:

-"He seems to have a competitive type of personality, and he's kinda cute."

Personally, I never really thought so, but whatever puts weight on your Mario, Mike....

Feel free to draw your own conclusions here…

"People think there is something wrong with Mike. But there's method in his madness." - Scott Lachance

“I don’t understand how a man who couldn’t make a good trade has any business analyzing other people’s trades.” – Stan Fischler

Ok with the said, I am going to go make me a Garth Snow Tribute site. Garth Snow: A Better Player and a Better GM

Also, check out the discussion of Milbury’s career as GM on the Isles’ wikipedia pages. It’s pretty comprehensive. You can’t miss his section, it’s called, “1995-2000: Management Issues”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Islanders#1995.E2.80.932000:_Management_Issues

In closing, I will now list players who could have been Islanders or could have remained Islanders if not for Mr. Milbury’s shenanigans between 1999-2006. I refuse to include Heatley and Gaborick as I believe drafting DiPietro was not a bad decision.

Forwards: Tood Bertuzzi, Ziggy Palffy, Olli Jokienen, Jason Spezza,

Defensemen: Bryan McCabe, Bryan Berard (when he was good), Eric Brewer, Zdeno Chara

Goalies: Chris Osgood and Roberto Luongo

Front office/coaches: Neil Smith, Pat Lafontaine, Peter Laviolette

Respectfully submitted,
The guy who called Mike and the Mad Dog screaming after they had Milbury on the air.

Friday Chats: NHL Wrap-Up and Tiger Woods Can Go Suck on a Lemon

2008-06-05T22:37:00.006-04:00

This week we're wrapping up the NHL Playoffs with a look back at our predictions, the Conn Smythe Winner, a few comments from Tiger Woods, and Joba's move to the starting rotation.

Let's start with a segment on Joba's move to the rotation, brought to you by Pemican Beef Jerky, Foxwoods Resort and Casino, and Red Man Smokeless Tobacco.

Net Crasher: …also known as Kyle Farnsworth’s weekend plans.

Game Misconduct: All right! We're back with another edition and it feels good! Joba's first start didn't last last as the team continues to monitor his pitch count. I tired to watch some of the game but it wasn't all that exciting so I gave up. Hearing and briefly reading about the start, it's been met with mixed results, and Johnny Damon is not happy about it saying that the Yankees bullpen was a strength with Farnsy in the 7th, Joba in the 8th, and Mo in the 9th. That's all well and good but when you're already losing before heading into the 7th, having those 3 really doesn't make a difference. What do you do to rectify the situation? I would leave Joba in as the set-up man and give Farnsy more innings, but thats's just so I could see him do this.

Net Crasher: Why does it have to be Farnsy or Joba? I don’t get it! Listen, in a perfect world you want your best pitchers to neutralize as many batters as possible. (That’s why I don’t really understand not putting Joba in the rotation at the beginning of the year.) Joba proved himself as an effective starter in the minors, and he even pitched well in spring training. He should have started the year as the #3 or #4 starter and if things got rocky then you slide him into the bullpen. That’s what the Yankees did with Mariano, and I think that turned out just fine. As for his replacement, Farnsy has shown he can be a lights out pitcher this year (more so than in years past) but still is way to inconsistent for the set-up roll. I think the Yanks should, first of all, try Ross Ohlendorf there. They keep using him in long relief, which is not his specialty. With a little more development of his fastball, Edwar Rameriez could also be a worthy choice. Farnsy may wind up getting it by default, but I still think he should have to win the job from Ohlendorf and Rameriez.

GM: Moving on to our NHL Wrapup, the Detroit Red Wings won their fourth Stanley Cup in 11 years in six games. I predicted it would be a close series going the full 7, with Detroit winning out in the end. I got the winner right, but this series really should have only gone five games. I didn't get to see too much of the series, but the games I did get to see, Detroit was absolutely dominant and Pittsburgh looked overmatched, much like the 1983 Oilers did against the Islanders. We all know that the year after being swept, the Oilers took the '84 Cup in five games, and the Islanders quickly faded into oblivion. I do see the Penguins making another run, but no dynasties like the Oilers, not in this salary cap era.

NC: You had to go there, Missy. You had to go pick on my Islanders. Well first of all, Messier was overrated, Leech was a tool, Beukeboom had a hilarious last name, and…hmmm…anything else? Oh yea, DiPietro will soon pass Richter as greatest American-born goalie. Alright, with that irrational, “fish sticks” rant outta the way…let’s actually make some good points about hockey. Games 1 and 2 were just scary. I was ready for Wings in 4 after the ridiculous performances of the Red Wings defensemen and Chris Osgood. One thing I saw from the Penguins is that they have a lot of fight in them for a young team. Their play in games 3 on showed a level of maturity you would not expect from a team of their experience. I agree with Misconduct that the Pens were simply outmatched. Both teams prided themselves in being deep (Adam Hall of the Pens did well centering their 4^th line) but the Red Wings had more skill in their depth. Throughout the playoffs, their second defense pair of Kronwall and Stuart had +16 and +15 ratings respectively, and Kronwall had an absurd 15 assists! Similarly, forwards like Jiri Hudler (13 pts) and Mikael Samuelson (14 pts) were able to find the net. It will be interesting to see if both teams will be able to retain enough talent to make it back the final next year.

GM: Certainly a sign of good things to come. My big question is well these teams stay together. The Pens will see

NC: Yeah, we will see.

GM: Oh, we will.

NC: Ok…I guess there is only one thing left to do…see!

GM: Anyway…

GM: This year's Conn Smythe winner was Henrik Zetterberg sponsored by Ikea and their delicious Swedish meatballs, let's call him Zed. This really could have gone to a number of Red Wings players because they are such a complete team. This would have been icing on an extremely sweet cake for Chris Osgood who was the back-up to Dominik Hasek until mid-way through the first round. Pavel Datsyuk was sublime, Tomas Holmstrom has a gigantic hockey butt, and Nik Lidstrom is Nik Lidstrom. One of the greatest defenseman of all time, Lidstrom became the first European to lead his team to the Stanley Cup. At this point, we're so used to Nik being the perfect defenseman that giving him hardware just doesn't do him justice.

NC: You know, GM, I am starting to think you have a little bit of a man crush on Mr. Lindstrom. We just got a letter from him asking for you to stop sending him naked pictures. But yea, Lindstrom is pretty damn good. Almost Dennis Potvin good (yea, just one more plug for my Isles!) The entire Red Wings blue line probably would have been worthy recipients, as Lindstrom was not along in strong defense play. Especially in the Finals, when Rafalaski and Kronwall were finding the net (albeit in Kronwall’s case it was the wrong net). With an honorable mention to Osgood (who played behind the aforementioned Wings defense), I think Zed is the obvious choice. He led the playoffs in points, goals, and plus/minus. He also effectively neutralized Sidney Crosby, as Babcock starting matching his first line with the Pens first line. (Which seems brilliant but then you realize Zed and Datysuk are both Selke Finalists).

GM: Finally, Tiger Woods had a few choice words for the NHL Playoffs saying, "I don't really care. Let's talk about the Dodgers," the California native said. "I don't think anybody really watches hockey anymore." There are a few things I'd like to say about this. First, Tiger is the world's most popular golfer and one of the most recognizeable athletes on the planet, for him to say something like this means it's not all sunshine and roses for Gary Bettman & Co. Sure the owners are making money and TV ratings are going up, but the NHL is still a long ways away from the other top sports in America. Secondly, for a man who keeps his character so well in check this is completely out of character for Mr. Woods. I'm not surprised he doesn't follow hockey, but to say something like that, I'm sure his publicist and image coordinator or whatever assistant he has will steer him clear of any hockey related events or topics of discussion. With every hockey player hitting the links over the summer he better watch his back or else Mike Milbury is going to beat him with his golf spikes.

NC: Milbury is damn serious too. He is quoted as saying, “"Keep your yap shut, Tiger, or I'll send a couple of wingers down there - [Pens forward] Gary Roberts - to tidy you up a little bit, meat head." Now, I know Milbury doesn’t know much about hockey, and I guess he thinks he is coaching the Pens, but I would take that seriously or as Misconduct said, he is going to get a soft-spike to the face. I guess Tiger was trying to sound clever, funny, candid...I don’t really know, but that definitely has to hurt the league. Especially in the midst of one of the highest rated series of the last ten years. Hockey still has a long way to go and comments like this should show the commissioner’s office that there is no time for complacency in expanding the league’s viewership. The NHL has gotta get back on ESPN and fast. It was absurd that games 1 and 2 were on Versus.

Well Misconduct left town for the weekend…something about him third-wheeling Lindstrom’s day with the Stanley Cup… so I guess I’ll just wrap this one up myself. Have a good one y’all. And Misconduct, if do get past Lindstrom’s restraining order…just try not to pull an Yzerman.

He Will Literally Tear Your Face Off

2008-06-05T15:17:00.006-04:00

Finishing up our list of players less productive than Bobby the Bear, who is currently in negotiations with the Toronto Maple leafs because of his fierce play in the corners and goal scoring prowess:

5. Alexander Karpovstev- The Russian defenseman won a Cup with the Rangers in 1994, then was most notably traded by the Maple Leafs for Brian McCabe. McCabe just barely missed out on this list. I’d write something witty here, but I’ll let Pat Foley, Blackhawks’ announcer do the talking, “We’ve got Bryan McCabe for Dean Martin!”

4. Brett Lindros- Baby Lindros (aren’t they all?) drafted 9th overall in 1994 because he was the younger brother of Eric was supposed to lead the Islanders into the 21st century. Instead, he played a total of 51 NHL games, as the Islanders and a lot of other teams passed on players like Chris Drury, Patrick Elias, Marty Turco, Daniel Alfredsson, and Steve Webb. Yikes.

3. Patrick Stefan- In what was a fairly poor 1999 Entry Draft (Pavel Brendl anybody?), Stefan was King Bust. Drafted first overall by the expansion Thrashers Stefan failed to live up to his expectations due to injuries and lack of talent. As a member of the Dallas Stars, Stefan’s career was encapsulated in this one play:

2. Alexandre Daigle- Another first overall pick, this time from the 1993 Draft ahead of Pronger, Kariya, and the heralded Hal Gill. Daigle signed an enormous contract and coasted through his time in Ottawa. Daigle is quite possibly the biggest bust in NHL history as a first overall pick because of his staggering junior statistics and the number of teams’ management he gave headaches. Daigle was a primadonna in the worst sense of the word and after years of futility finally left the NHL in 2006.

1. Alexei Yashin- If you don’t know why, please ask my esteemed colleague, Mr. NetCrasher. I’m sure he’s got a few things to say about Yashin.

Dis-Honorable Mention: Tom “Bleeping” Poti, Martin Havlat (is he ever healthy), Bryan McCabe (because Leafs fans absolutely hate him), and Marek “Harry/FrankenMalik” Malik

A Dozen Uses for the Stanley Cup

2008-06-05T14:08:00.002-04:00

With the Stanley Cup on its way to Detroit, I thought we should maybe recount some of the great situations Lord Stanley’s hardware has found itself. Remember, players are given the opportunity to take the cup home with them for a day. Now that the Cup was a security team, the shenanigans have been taken to a minimum.

So Buzz Bissinger doesn’t come after me, here are my sources. Check’em out here and here. Also, in Kevin Allen’s Why is the Stanley Cup in Mario Lemieux's Pool?

12. Mario Lemieux and Patrick Roy went swimming with it. I hope they gave the cup some swimmies.

11. Attempt to drop kick it over the Rideau Canal in Ottawa and fail like the 1907 Ottawa Silver Seven. It was just a bowl back then

10. The 1940 New York Rangers pissed in it beginning a tradition of being the most classless organization in hockey.

9. Joel Stein used it to get a table at the Four Seasons

8. Bryan Trottier slept with it. "I wanted to wake up and find it right beside me,” he reportedly said. I hope he bought it a drink first.

7. Put your dad’s name on it like 1984 Oilers owner Peter Pocklington. This would never have happened if the Isles won their 5^th straight.

6. Steve Yzerman showered with it

5. Kristen Bell would take a sponge bath with it.

4. In 1987, Mark Messier brought it to a strip club. No surprise he was soon traded to the Rangers where he did it again in 1994.

3. Eddie Olczyk allowed 1994 Kentucky Derby winner, Go for Gin eat oats from it, and 1980-1983 winner Clark Gillies let his dog eat out of it.

2. Brian Noonan of the Rangers brought it to the MTV Beach House where it served oysters. He would not have been let in otherwise.

1. Stefan Lefebrve had his son baptized in the Cup. Keep you eyes open for a younger Lefebrve – I would not want to drop the gloves against someone with the Big Guy on his side.

A couple more, which haven’t been done yet...

Take the Cup to Messier’s house and see where the night takes you.

Make it the “Bonus 11^th Cup” in Beer Pong.

Take it to Kristen Bell’s

Run away to a remote Island with it.

Bring it to the Islander’s front office and remind them of what it looks like

Hit Mike Milbury in the face with it.

Eat 5 boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese from it

Walk through an airport metal detector and say, “It must be my belt.”

Add Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson to the 1928-1929 Bruins and see if anyone notices.

See if Brian Noonan every left the MTV Beach House. I suspect he is still in there or at least what is left of it.

Don Cherry’s Running Out of Jackets!

2008-06-03T11:27:00.002-04:00

Maybe every playoff game should go to three overtimes that would have to be good for ratings. I’ve heard from a couple of non-hockey fans that they tuned-in last night and could not turn it off. All I could say is, “Yes, I told you it’s a beautiful game.” Although, I guess once you hit the third OT things do tend to get a little sloppy. (Then, Sykora rips a nasty dangle beating Osgood on the short side).

So, the Pens live to fight another day. Like any emotional win, game 6 could really go one of two ways for Crosby and Co: Either the momentum has swung to the Pens who will continue to play inspired hockey or the emotion drain of a 3OT game could get the best of them and they could come out flat. Let’s sure hope it’s the former, as the NHL’s dream match-up is getting all the attention it deserves. Especially with the NBA finals not until Thursday, all eyes can be on Game 6. According to ESPN, viewership of the finals is way up with Game 3 drawing 4 millions views compared to 1.7 last year. The Red Wings even beat out the Pistons run in the Eastern Conference Championship among Detroit viewers.

Last night’s game really had everything you could hope for in a game: a last minute desperation goal, a number of exciting odd-man rushes, an absolutely acrobatic performance out of Marc Andre Fleury, and great physical play. Here are a couple thoughts about the game:

- Kudos to the refs. During the game, I thought there may have been some questionable calls and non-calls. But as things came down to the wire, the refs let’em play, which made for an exciting ending. Of course, the high sticking call on Hudler had to be called.

- I agree with Don Cherry. That might have been one of the greatest playoff goaltending performances I have ever seen. J.S. Giguere and Marty Brodeur in the 2003 playoffs were right up there as well. 58 saves for Fleury!

- What a snipe by Sykora

- Adam Hall got lucky again. First he puts one off of Osgood’s rear-end and now he passed one to Kronwall who roofs it on his own goalie. A goal is still a goal. It wound up being the difference in the game.

- Even in defeat, Babcock’s system looked good. The deliberate cycles in the offensive zone, quick skating in the neutral zone, and stingy collapses in the defense zone was so very impressive. It’s been said way too many times but this really is Red Army hockey. (Anyone else catch the “This is your time!” Herb Brooks/Kurt Russell quote played over the Red Wings PA?)

- Speaking of the PA, give the Wings credit for some credit music selection. How cool was “Don’t Stop Believing” when they turn off the sound and the fans yell, “Born and raised in South Detroit!”

- Credit to Therrien for balancing his lines. Losing Malone and Gonchar (and then getting them back) probably forced him to rethink his offensive lines and his defensive pairings. Also, with young skaters who were clearly gassed by 3OT, Therrien knew to switch things up. And how bout his power play line? Hossa-Crosby-Malone with Malken and Gonchar at the point.

- Gonchar and Malone are warriors.

- Nik Lindstrom is unstoppable – 45 mins of TOI. (Rafalski is damn good too)

- If Datsyuk’s shot off the crossbar went in….damn…that’s just nuts

- Don Cherry beat me to this point too, but Holmstrom is gonna need a big game for the Wings. His work in front of the net is really the only way to foil the absurdity that is Marc Andre Fleury.

- The Pens still need a prayer to win this series…let’s at least hope it goes 7!

Friday Chats: Cat Boxing, The London Silly Nannies, and the NHL's Best Dressed

2008-06-02T14:31:00.004-04:00

GM: So Michael Vick gets vilified for running a dog fighting ring, but things like this are deemed adorable? I personally would love to see some animal boxing going on. Maybe some sort of professional circuit, it’s got to turn out better than “Rocky Balboa.” Yes, what Vick did was deplorable, but it’d be like battlebots without the nerds, or just a different kind of nerds, sort of like Kung Fu Panda without the voice over acting. Skadoosh.

NC: That cat will mess you up. Do you see the intensity and determination that it trains with? If only Allen Iverson had that kind of work-ethic. The only thing people like more than kittens is kittens dressed up in funny costumes. Putting some sparring gear on some felines and have’em go at it. Is Mills Lane available?

Let’s switch gears to the National Football League. Tickets went on-sale for the Cheerio Bowl (let’s hope that name sticks) at Wembley Stadium in London. This year the Chargers and Saints will travel across the pond to square off on the famous pitch. My question to you Miscondcut is should the NFL continue to have regular season games in the UK? And can Wembley’s pitch handle the likes of Lorenzo Neal and Antonio Gates?

GM: One game of ticket sales is great and all, but didn’t NFL Europe just fold? I understand having gimmick games, once a year, similar to the NHL’s Winter Classic, but in a 16 game season, having teams travel across the ocean just for one week seems silly. Then again, with the economy heading in its current direction it’s probably great for the league and the owners to be making some money in Euros or Pounds. This is clearly a great business move, but hurts the American fans because many miss out on the home game that is sacrificed. Now, playing a preseason game, or removing a preseason game and having a 17 game schedule wouldn’t be such a bad idea…

NC: It seems to make good business sense. Wembly’s 81,000 seats are projected to be sold out again and the game draws great revenue. From a football stand-point, the game provides great international exposure for the game, which could perhaps spring up more appeal for the game abroad. The other major sports (especially hockey and baseball) heavily draw on international sources of talent. This not only creates more opportunities for revenue but increases the competitiveness of the sport. The international flight is a bummer, Wembly’s pitch, as we have seen, can prove to be not quite as durable as an NFL field, and a team sacrificing a home game could be costly, but all in all, bringing football to the international stage is a good idea.

GM: I see it as a great business opportunity, but I don't imagine the NFL catching in Europe at the same popularity it has in the States. Think of how many people at last year's game were American expats… it was probably a very large percentage. I don't see the NFL going into Europe permanently, like I said once a year is probably the most they'll do. But being the most successful of the major pro sports in America means they know what they're doing and think through their decisions… Hello Houston Texans! With the different field conditions, players are probably more susceptible to injury, but the players' union obviously agreed to this venture, and they've never let the players down right? At least not while they're still in the league.

NC: I don't think anyone is calling for the inclusion of the London Silly Nannies into the NFL. Having one regular season game where teams can truly show off how competitive and how intense the sport is would do well to develop football at the grassroots. Once players are developed in foreign countries, they make their way to the NFL. Just like in the other major sports.

GM: So we both agree that one regular season game a year is great for the league, the future ramifications are where we disagree. I see Europeans embracing it as well as we have embraced the MLS. The league is clearly growing, but it will never be a powerhouse like the NFL.

NC: Yea, “European American Football” (first thing’s first, that name needs to be shortened) is not even along as far along as the MLS. But it’s all about grassroots. The only way to develop a successful professional league is develop young players to one day play at this high level. Like you mentioned, the MLS is doing wonders for soccer's grassroots. Who knows, maybe one day the football world championship will be played between the winner of the US league and the winner of the European league?

GM: That's an intriguing possibility, but it's very far off. I would like to see some sort of Global Championship in a lot of sports, similar to the UEFA Champions League, but with regular season, playoffs, and international competitions that opens up the possibility for players having to play possibly 150 games. That’s a lot of travel and wear and tear on their bodies unless leagues are willing to cut down on regular season games. But then owners are potentially losing revenue from home ticket sales.

NC: An event “bigger than the World Cup, World Series, and World War II combined?” I like it! Alright, let’s wrap things up with the plight of Barry Melrose. Melrose, of course, is the only surviving analyst since ESPN’s “great purge” of hockey coverage after the lock out. Now that Don Cherry has joined the coverage (even if it is for 5 minutes a week), Melrose has officially become the second-best dressed and this seems to bother him, as he may jump ship to coach in Tampa. Misconduct, what do you think of Tampa switching Tortarella for the best mullet in the business?

GM: I’m on the fence about this one. I love Barry the analyst for his gimmicks and the Hockey Falls commercials, but Barry the Coach hasn’t coached in the League since 1994-95. That’s a long time to be out of coaching. Torts is a great coach but his schtick has probably worn thin in Florida, and their losing season was probably the nail in the coffin, but he’s got a ring and Vinny Lecavalier’s (now the face of the franchise) success to take to his next interview. Back to Melrose…This is probably new owner Oren Koules wanting to put his own stamp on the team and more publicity. With Steven Stamkos, Vinny, and Marty St. Louis the team will be fun to watch, but until they find a competent goaltender and some roster depth, this team will be just as bad as they were last year. But a team built around Stamkos, Vinny, and John Tavares or Victor Hedman (next year’s top players) seems pretty enticing. Melrose or not, this team will struggle. But he would definitely bring notoriety to the team. Whether or not he can still coach is another issue.

NC: It’s an interesting spot for Tampa. I think Torterella will quickly find a new home. He is a great coach and, of course, has the resume to prove it. I agree, Tampa is certainly rebuilding and will need a few seasons to develop its young talent. Unloading Brad Richards at the deadline made this very clear. Tampa should be looking for a coach that is solid with young player development. I wonder if Melrose is the guy for that? He had a lot of success in WHL and AHL (won the Calder Cup in 1992) with young players. He then had a mixed career in the NHL. He took the Kings to the Stanley Cup finals and then had two losing seasons before being replaced. I say we give Barry the benefit of the doubt. He certainly knows the game well and has had some success as a coach. It will be interesting to see how much latitude he gets from the new ownership and how short of a leash he will have with this rebuilding team.

The Farnsworth Chronicles: Go East, Flamethrower

2008-05-31T17:51:00.007-04:00

“There’s got to be something I can do to turn this shit show around. We got We got old man Torre sleeping through games, Jeter trying to keep up with that Wright kid, Boras parading A-Rod all over the place, and Jeter is too busy turning B-list celebrities into A-list gossips. The only people with someone going for them are those two Japanese guys,” Farnsy thought as he ast in his locker room after the 2007 Yankees’ exit interviews.
He sat up from the stall put his good luck t-shirt in his bag and walked to the parking lot. “I’ve got too much talent to be sitting behind Joba, if that kid had a Gatorade deal they’d give him his own flavor called ‘fire-water’ if you know what I’m saying.” Farnsworth climbed into his Ford F-350 and called dialed Duncan.
“You got Dunc’d.”
“Yo! Shells, I got a great fucking idea for this offseason. I think I figured out how those crazy Japs do it. We gotta become mother fucking samurai, man. It all came to me in a dream with Tom Cruise and that guy from Batman with the crazy mustache. The white folks were all like we’re going to take over the Japan, and the other guys were like no way man, and there were swords and guns and, oh man it was fucking rad.”
“Dude, you’re talking about that movie, ‘The Last Samurai.’ But that is still a great fucking idea. If Igawa and Matsui can do it, we could own that place. And God Damn you know how I love me some Asian women; I got the Yellow fever so bad I’m sweating just thinking about it.”
“All right, rock on. Let’s do this shit!”

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong...": The Week in Movie Quotes

2008-05-29T14:45:00.002-04:00

Like an egregious make up call it’s time for some random musings of the last week to catch us all up. Let’s do it with some movie quotes.

The Red Wings Shutout the Pens…Twice

Herb Brooks: The Soviets win because they take that talent and use it inside a system that's designed for the betterment of the team.
Miracle (2004)

John Buccigross’ comparison of the Red Wings to the Red Army is a good one. We saw just how effective the Red Wing’s system was in games one and two. Osgood was solid in goal but was not all that tested with the Red Wings defense, anchored by Lindstrom, holding the Pens to 19 and 22 shots in the two games respectively. They killed thirteen straight penalties and even notched a short handed goal. On offense, 6 players combined for the Wings 7 total goals (each had at least one assist).

Disputed Home Run Call(s)

Robin Hood: Blinkin! What are you doing?
Blinkin: Guessing. I guess no one's coming.
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

It was the week of missed home runs calls and its become more obvious to me than ever that its time for instant replay in baseball. After Delgado’s missed home run, fans could see that it clearly was a fair ball before Willie Randolph and Joe Girardi reached the umpire to argue. Take a page from the NHL (just one page though, please) and institute video review for home run calls only. It’s a slippery slope some say. What about trapped balls? What about balls and strikes? They can equally have an affect on the game. This may be true, but the NHL has made it work (and they too have had issues with game times). There are penalties that are not penalties and pucks that may have deflected out of play. These plays also can affect the outcome of the game, but fans and players understand that the line must be drawn somewhere. For the NHL, it’s goal or no goal. For the MLB, it should be home run or no home run. Buster Olney gives some great insight as to how the system could work here.

NCAA Lacrosse Championship: Wicked Awesome

Oliver Queenan: We have a question: Do you want to be a cop, or do you want to appear to be a cop? It's an honest question. A lot of guys just want to appear to be cops. Gun, badge, pretend they're on TV.
The Departed (2006)

Being in Boston, you just have to do some Departed lines. It’s amazing the staties really do have the thickest accents. While trying to J-walk after the semi-finals game on Saturday, the statie asked me and the boys, “What is this frog-ah?” Funny stuff. Anyway, the Johns Hopkins B-team who was 0-5 this year showed up and Syracuse showed them who was boss to win the national championship. Syracuse’s intense play combined with Hopkins’ countless mistakes gave ‘cuse an easy win. Credit ‘cuse and Hopkins for great games in the semi-finals both pulling upsets against favorites Virginia and Duke. Also, credit Duke fans for chucking a Diet Coke at my head.

The Yankee Enigma Continues

Bruce Wayne: How about Mr. E.?

Alfred Pennyworth: Mystery.

Bruce Wayne: And another name for mystery?

Alfred Pennyworth: Enigma.
Bruce Wayne: Mr. E. Nygma. Edward Nygma.
Batman Forever (1995)

That’s pretty much what it comes down to for the Yankees. Derek Jeter is off to a good year offensively and then plays the worst came of his career against Baltimore on Tuesday. Jason Giambi is flirting with the Mendoza line and then hits not one but two balls into the Chesapeake Bay. The Yanks sweep the Mariners and then nearly get swept by the Orioles. Joba Chamberlin is getting converting to a starter and Ian Kennedy hits the 15 day DL. Ladies and gentlemen, I am out of answers.

Sidney Crosby Strikes Back

Phil Weston: Don't be afraid to throw the elbow. lf you break someone's collarbone, that’s a good thing.
Kicking and Screaming (2005)

The Pens finally came to play in game 3, and it made for a great game. The intensity was unmatched. There were over 20 hits by my count, 6 of which may have happened over a period of three minutes. The Pens finally abandoned the dump and chase method that wasn’t working and started attacking Chris Osgood. The Red Wings defense is good, but its hard to make a play when Crosby, Hossa, and Dupuis are streaking up the ice at you. The Pens goal scoring was not always pretty, they were able get in close and get the puck across the line. Crosby’s first goal was a great example of this.

The Booing Ban

Michael: Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever.
The Godfather (1972)

It was reported that Cubs management instructed security guards to have no tolerance for those booing or cursing Cubs left fielder Alfonso Soriano. The Cubs deny this claim, stating that ballpark rules have not changed. C’mon! How does someone make something like that up!? Maybe if Soriano didn’t blow the game for the Cubs on Sunday such measures would not have to be taken.

The Coolest Friday Chats on Earth

2008-05-23T11:13:00.002-04:00

It's time for a very special Stanley Cup edition of Friday Chats. The finals are here and no one knows because the NHL still has that shitty deal with Versus. Fuck them. This should be a great series because these teams play an up-tempo style. So let’s break it down:

Goaltending:

Game Misconduct: M.A. Fleury is a former first overall pick and has been playing like it these playoffs, after being almost run out of town by goalie Ty Conklin, aka Conkblock. His record in championship games in not great, take a look here (go to 2:15). He’s no Marty Turco, I can tell you that much. Chris Osgood is older than dirt but not as old as Chelios or Hasek. He’s rejuvenated and has a few rings on his resume. On overall talent I’d give this to Fleury, but Ozzie’s ring is very shiny. Advantage: Push

NetCrasher: Remember how Gordon Bombay put in a cold goaltender to face the leader scoring in the Junior Goodwill Games. Well, this is nothing like that. Marc-Andre Fleury is a on a roll and when you have a hot goalie you gotta stick with him. Fleury’s looked better and better as the rounds have worn on and made some truly acrobatic saves against Philly. Fleury’s save percentage is the highest in the playoffs, and he has faced nearly one hundred more shots than Osgood. He is battle tested and will need to be as the Wings have the best offense he will face. Osgood has emerged from his back up roll to show some strong numbers, but I credit his success to the Wings’ blue line which may be the best in recent memory. Advantage: Penguins

Defense:

Game Misconduct: This one doesn’t look close. You’ve got Nik Lidstrom who may be the best defenseman since Bobby Orr. He’s not a punisher like Scott Stevens was, nor as graceful as Scott Niedermayer, but the guy NEVER makes a mistake, ever. Kronwall is healthy and is looking like Lidstrom 2.0. That’s just not fair. Brad Stuart has figured out that he’s a defenseman and is playing well in the top 4. Chelios is old, but Hal Gill is slow. The Pens D is not as talented, but with Gonchar and Letang there is some offensive punch. A lot of this match up hinges on Ryan Whitney who hasn’t played up to his potential in these playoffs. Oh man, I almost forgot about Rafalski, this isn’t really fair. Advantage: Red Wings

NetCrasher: The Wings D really is nasty from top to bottom. Like I mentioned in our last preview, Lindstrom is just a thrill to watch: flawless play, athletic ability, and great vision. I agree with Misconduct -- Kronwell is very much shaping up to be a Lindstrom look a like. The Pens D has been often over looked. All have positive plus/minus ratings with the lowest being at +4. Hal Gill, much to the disappointment of the City of Toronto, remembered how to play hockey this year. And he makes up for his slowness with great stay-at home presence and ridiculous reach. (He also is well-versed in beating the shit out of people) Also, Gonchar has a great ability to start plays in his end. Still, I have to go with the Wings. Not only do they have comparable depth to the all-star teams at their blue line, they have three defensemen with over 10 points in the playoffs. Advantage: Red Wings

Forwards:

Game Misconduct: This is where things get interesting. You’ve got Crosby and Malkin vs. Datsyuk and Zetterberg. I don’t even know what to say but the talent amongst these four is just scary, but the Wings’ players are more developed and have better two-way acumen (Selke finalists). Everyone talks about them and you know them by now so let’s move on. Detroit has some more age and experience, but the Pens have young legs and loads of offensive potential. Problem is the Wings offense is a well oiled machine; a machine that runs teams over. Much of this depends on Johan “The Mule” Franzen who missed parts of the Dallas series with concussion like symptoms. (As of today, he is questionable for game 1) The Pens have more scoring depth and are fun to watch. Advantage: Penguins

Net Crasher: No one plays two ways better than the Wings. Misconduct says Zetterberg, I say Datsyuk for the Selke but either way, for the Wings to win, the forwards will need to get back. As Misconduct said, Detroit has a well-oiled and proven system on their side and star players in Datsyuk and Zetterberg that rival Crosby and Malkin. I give the Pens the edge here because of their supporting cast. (If you want to call Hossa a supporting cast member, you may as well cast Robert DeNiro as “Bus Driver #2” in his next movie.) Dupuis is proving to be a great bonus to the Hossa trade, Staal is tied for second on the team in goals for the playoffs, and Malone is playing like he wants a big contract last year. Advantage: Penguins

Coach:

Game Misconduct: The only thing Therrien has taught these young Pens is how to take a dive just like a good French Canadian would. I clearly don’t think much of him, and Mike Babcock has this veteran team running like a machine. They’re so disciplined and systematic that it reminds me of the Soviets before they ran into a bunch of college kids in 1980. Therrien is so outclassed here, its borderline hysterical. Advantage: Red Wings

NetCrasher: Therrien certainly has a lot to prove. This is far and away his most successful season as a coach. Babcock has been there and done that. Advantage: Red Wings

Prediction:

Game Misconduct: The Wings have home-ice advantage but haven’t sold out every playoff game at the Joe, which is a little pathetic, but this being the finals fans should show up. The Penguins youth has served them well, but the Wings are just too well coached and disciplined. They won’t give in to the BS with Ruutu or Sid the Whiner.

Verdict: This has the potential to be one for the ages, but the Wings will win out in 7

Other than the Stars’ attempt at a Kamikaze Comeback, the Conference Finals were pretty uneventful. This match-up, which the NHL had been praying for since January, promises to compensate us for that. In a close series, special teams could be the difference. All season, both teams have been nearly equal on both the power play and penalty kill. Still, with Lindstrom anchoring the Red Wings blue line, I think the key match-up will be the Wings tried-and-true power play vs. the Pens penalty kill. If the Pens can kill penalties and get a strong performance out of Fleury they will be in good shape.

Verdict: Look for the Conn Smythe to go to Fleury or Malkin and look for the Pens to win in 7.

If they can do it, so can Bobby the Bear

2008-05-21T10:55:00.008-04:00

In case you haven’t seen it, this is the greatest thing to hit youtube since… well ever. In honor of Bobby the Bear, here is a list of players less productive than Bobby the Bear. I'm fairly sure the Leafs are cooking up his contract at this every moment...

10. Rich Pilon- Rich Pilon played for both the Islanders and the Rangers and stunk up the ice wherever he went. Brett Hull once said the many of the players in the NHL couldn’t pass, shoot, or skate well at all. Rich Pilon was one of those guys.

9. Ray “Razor” Emery- A Stanley Cup finalist last year, this year Emery (I refuse to call him Razor and sully the good name of Kyle Farnsworth) was suspended more by his own team than Chris Simon was by the league. Which leads me to

8. Chris Simon- This guy’s best games are played in his head when he’s either drunk or imbibed too much peyote. This year alone he was suspended, returned to the team, left the team because of anger management issues, returned again, and was traded to Minnesota. How he was lucky enough to get a chance to play in the playoffs in Minnesota is anyone’s guess. I’m thinking he prayed to some sort of totem pole that resembles Mike Milbury and Ted Nolan. Now he’s signed to play in Russia in what is truly becoming a league to rival the NHL, HA!

7. Mike Milbury- As a player he attacked a fan in the stands and beat him with his own shoe, as a GM he traded Roberto Loungo and Olli Jokinen for Oleg Kvasha and Mark Parrish, and that may not have been his worst deal.

6. Oleg Kvasha- This guy was tall, ugly, and had a giant nose. Not to mention he was Russian. He was so bad you couldn’t even consider him a Russian enigma because he didn’t have the talent to be wasted.

Rest of the list to follow...

Ohhhh…Anthony Wright is gonna be pissed!!

2008-05-20T16:44:00.002-04:00

The Patriots record of most wins in the regular season could be in jeopardy. No, unfortunately, Roger Goodell is not considering vacating the AFC Champion's season, but his most recent proposal makes it a little easier to tie and possible to break the regular season win’s record.

ESPN’s John “The Professor” Clayton reports that Goodell and the owners are discussing the prospect of eliminating one preseason game and adding one regular season , thus virtually eliminating the already slim chance Anthony Wright had of calling signals for the Giants (in a game) this season. But hey, would a little more Eli and a little less Anthony Wright hurt anyone?

The driving force behind the proposal is to raise even more revenue to help the league resolve its current labor disputes. The league believes the most profitable sport on the planet is not making enough money, so why not add another game?

Of course, there are some drawbacks. For one thing, regular season football would now start earlier in the year, which means players are hitting with pads and doing more strenuous practices at the height of summer. This is certainly a safety issue for players. (It also starts the beginning of fall waaayyyy before I am ready! Because any God-fearing sports fan, measures their seasons with the sports calendar. I never wear white shoes before the Masters. They’re not in season yet!). It, of course, also throws a monkey wrench into the record books. It gives players and teams one more game to reach single season records and essentially turns a 16 year career into a 17 year career. Finally, it could mean players on the practice squad not getting a fair chance to show their stuff. Perhaps Lawrence Tynes 43 yard field goal in the 4^th game of preseason was what got him spot over Josh Huston who had been kicking well. No Tynes, no overtime field goal against the Packers?

Still, these obstacles are surmountable. Careful planning and appropriate supervision will enable players to brave the heat. As for expanding the schedule, the NFL has done it before. All of the major sports have done it at least once and fans learn to deal with it. 61* eventually became just plain 61. As for the practice squad, players are promoted all the time during the season. Maybe they just won’t be on the opening day roster.

The 17 game schedule is a good thing. It’s one more glorious week of football. One more thing that can go so right or go so wrong. It allows NFL fans to see teams that they may not necessarily see every year. I don’t buy the argument that there is not enough money to go around in the NFL, but if it gets me another weekend of sitting on the couch all day in my boxers eating a meatball hero and watching the games then count me in.

Sports Century

2008-05-20T14:42:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0sZ_oPBFr8

Check out this incredible montage that ESPN put together at the end of 1999. I just came across it myself and have already watched it twice. It does a pretty good job getting everything in there. It's got everything from Babe Ruth to John Elway to the 1983 Islanders to Tiger Woods.

The 2099 video just got a new addition last night. You gotta tip your hat to Jon Lester. Imagine being diagnosed with cancer at 22 and throwing a no hitter in the major leagues less than two years later. (No really, stop and think about that.) Way to go, Lester.

Did the 1999 video miss an important moment? What else will make the 2099 video? Post a comment or drop me an e-mail at netcrasher6@gmail.com!

In Soviet Russia Stick Control You

2008-05-19T14:01:00.003-04:00

What’s the best way for a league to gain credibility? Bring in Chris Simon, of course. Several months ago, the New York Times printed an article claiming that the Russian Superleague would begin to challenge the NHL in terms of talent and quality of product. The article cited that many of the players in Russia were NHL stars capable of competing with the Malkins, Crosbys, and Lundqvists of the NHL. I, of course, knew better than to agree with this drivel because the players they were citing were none other than NHL castaways Alexei Morozov and everybody’s favorite former New York captain, Alexei Yashin. What the Times failed to mention was that these players weren’t good enough to stay in the NHL nor were they really wanted. Furthermore, the buildings that are hoped to compare with NHL arenas are 1/5th the size (3,000 cheering fans compared to 20,000, lemme think about that one). So now Chris Simon joins the league after an illustrious NHL career of suspensions and hooliganism. That should add some instant credibility to a league that overpays for over-the-hill athletes and has arenas smaller than most Division III gymnasiums.

More from the Blue Jay: Duke - Ohio State

2008-05-17T11:34:00.002-04:00

Duke vs. Ohio State

When the brackets were released two weeks ago one thing that caught the eye of many was that if the top seeds held, Cornell would have a rematch with Duke in the NCAA tournament, after falling 13-12 in last years Final 4. Not to mention, the rematch would take place on Cornell ’ s home field. Sure the quarterfinal locations are determined well beforehand, and the host team will have an advantage, but is it fair to do that t o a #1? Fair or not, it ’ s something thanks to the Ohio State 15-7 defeat of Cornell that we won ’ t have to debate. Ohio State is part of the surprising GWLL which placed three teams in the tournament, two of which are set to play in Ithaca on Sunday. Up until the last week of the season Ohio State ’ s only losses were in overtime. Many overlooked this club against the Ivy champs but as anyone who tuned in Saturday evening found out, their first trip to the tournament in five years was not satisfying enough. Ohio State likes to run, and while they did that all over Cornell, their opponent might be more up to the task on Sunday.

NC's Note: Can Schroeder take it coast to coast again?

Duke comes in the favorites to win their first national championship . There was a time that Greer and Danowski alone were able to fuel this team to greatness, but now the Blue Devils have weapons at every position and can play at both ends. Ohio State will need to have a great day at the face-off x, which may be difficult against Duke ’ s Sam Payton who won 61% of his draws this year. Stefan Schroeder will have to have the game of his career between the pipes for the Buckeyes. The only two losses this Duke team has had in the tournament came from outstanding goalie performances, both by Hopkins ’ Jesse Schwartzman, and still they were narrow one goal defeats. Ohio State ’ s game plan should be to mirror last years championship game performance, which means jumping out to a lead, it ’ s nearly impossible to play catch-up against Duke. They need to dominate possession , which means winning face offs, and make Duke ’ s middies beat you. Ohio State has not shown the type of overall composure to play with Duke for the full 60 minutes. Then again, maybe they just have not had the opportunity. Many teams can hang around for a majority of the game, but Duke will make a run at some point and find separation .

NC Note: Right on, Jay. It's not about preventing Duke from going on a run. It weathering out the inevitable run.

Not much can be said about Duke ’ s plan, as long as they play their game and everyone takes care of the fundamentals and little things, look for Duke to be in Boston next weekend.

Pick: Duke

NCAA Men's Lacrosse Round 2 Preview

2008-05-16T16:50:00.002-04:00

The Blue Jay had a rough night also. Let's just say he was wetting his beak a little too much. He did muster up the following thoughts on Round 2...

Virgina vs. Maryland

The first battle of the weekend might be the best. These two teams split during the season with the Terps taking the first meeting 13-7 and the Cavs getting vengeance, 11-8 in the ACC tournament. Maryland might get the underdog support from the unbiased fans in attendance at what may be a record breaking day in Annapolis. There is no question that Virginia is going to score, but the question is how many goals they can give replacement goalie Bud Petit and a mediocre Cavalier defense? The attack of Rubeor, Billings and Glading will get their looks. Cinosky and the Maryland defense will have to keep them away from the crease for either Phipps or Carter.

It will be interesting to see what Maryland and their young offense can do. The key matchup will be Ryan Nizolek on Travis Reed. Nizolek shut him down in the ACC tournament to help hold the Terps to 8 goals. This was a turnaround from the regular season game in College Park where Reed lit it up for 4 goals. Maryland will most likely need double digits to win this one. Also, look for the play of Junior LSM Mike Timms who was one of the few Cavs to have a great game last week against UMBC. While this should be a tight one, Virginia has a core of leaders who have a national championship under their belts, while Maryland hasn’t beaten a team seeded ahead of it in I don’t even know how long.

Pick: Virginia

Johns Hopkins vs. Navy

Despite the sub-par regular seasons for both given the high standards, Saturday afternoon’s game has more hype to it then any of the others. You may ask why this is the case between two teams who combined for double digits in losses. It can be explained in numbers:

65: The combined number of National Championships between the two schools
34: The current Hopkins win streak over Navy
1: Prior to this year, the number of goals each of the previous four games were decided by (2 in OT)
20,000+: Expected attendance
0: The amount of times these teams have faced each other in the post season.

Net Crasher's Note: 15: About how many beers the average in-field watcher will have consumed at Preakness by the time of opening face off in Annapolis.

Throw in the fact that the game is at Navy making it very accessible for fans of both sides, thrown in with the hangover crowd from MD-UVA, and you have the best possible competition to Preakness that lacrosse can offer.

Both schools looked impressive in the opening round. Both received very stellar goaltending and both will look be very deliberate with the ball on Saturday. Don’t expect too much running and gunning when these two teams meet up. Navy’s #1 ranked defense played Hopkins tight in the first half during the regular season match up, but in the third quarter, the Blue Jays erupted on their way to handing the Mids a 12-5 defeat. This was while Navy was in the midst of a three game losing streak (I think Hopkins knows a little about those). You have to expect after a big upset against UNC, a team that handled the Jays at home in a 13-8 drubbing which doesn’t reflect how much UNC dominated, Navy is going to be fired up, especially with the tremendous fan support they’ll receive (You figure Maryland and Virginia can at least agree on wanting Hopkins to go down).

While the anticipated match up is the Hopkins’ midfield against the Navy defense, this game will ride on how Tim Paul and the Navy offense do against Michael Gvozden and the Jays defense. Gvozden had a 16 save performance last time out against Navy, but last time Navy had possibly their worst shooting day of the season. Gvozden has shown consistency, and if the Jays can keep Navy from getting good opportunities it is going to be very difficult to score enough goals to win. Also face-offs will have a major role given the half field games both teams play. Which Stephen Peyser shows up, the one who dominated last year’s tournament or the one who has had problems jumping the whistle all year?

NC's Note: That's not the only that jumped early...Get outta here Sean Connery!

Navy is going to win one of these days, and while they’re 4-2 in one goal games this year vs. Hopkins’ 0-3, Rabil, Peyser and Huntley have done it too many times over the past four years to bet against them, at least in this round.

Pick: Hopkins

NC's Note: Faceoffs really are going to be critical. Possessions will be limited by both teams half-field style, so dominating the X will be a must. Hopkins' ride was very good against Hofstra. Let's see if the JHU attack can continue to foil clearing attempts. Speaking of attack, will Michael Donegar continue to monopolize the front of the opponents net?

Friday Chats: Friday Morning Hangover Edition

2008-05-16T16:34:00.002-04:00

It’s a rainy Friday and one of us wishes he stopped taking the coupons for free Malibu drinks at the bar last night. Those damn Malibu girls and their free beads! I feel taken advantage of….

Anyway…

As always there is a lot to talk about this week, so let’s get right to it.

Net Crasher: We are a quarter of the way thought the baseball season and Joe Girardi’s Yankees find themselves in more turmoil than pledge night at Game Misconduct’s sorority house. They are currently in last place in the AL East, Ian Kennedy still hasn’t put it together, and their offense is obviously struggling. Willie Randolph is on the hot seat across the river, but is Joe Girardi also?

I don’t think so. If you recall when Posada and A-Rod went down all of the commentators hedged their expectations and just said the Yankees need to stay afloat until A-Rod and Posada come back. And that’s exactly what they have done. Since A-Rod hit the DL, they have played a challenging schedule that included Detroit, Seattle, Cleveland, and the surging Tampa Bay Rays, and came out one game under .500. Girardi hasn’t hesitated in shaking things up to make that happen.

You certainly can’t blame him for complacency! The Yankees have used 37 different line-ups in 42 games to try to compensate for their massive loss of power. Pete Abraham’s blog gives a great stat that is worth nothing: The catchers (Molina, Moeller, Stuart) and third basemen (Ensberg, Gonzalez and Betemit) are 17 of 92 (.185) with 5 RBI since Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada went out with their injuries. How do you compensate for that?

Similarly, the Yankee starting pitching has been not near what was expected, but Girardi’s management of the Yankee bullpen has been fantastic. As I previously noted, they have only 6 of the Yankees 22 losses and a 3.24 ERA.

So let’s reserve judgment on Joe until he screws something up that he actually is in control of.

Game Misconduct: I'm not a big baseball guy, but when Girardi was hired I was legitimately excited. I was hoping he would turn around what seemed to become a retirement community center. Yes they Yankees two biggest offensive weapons from a year ago are hurt, but there's no buzz surrounding this team. It's obviously not in his control, but the Yankees need to get younger throughout their lineup, and while IPK and Philly Franchise, Joba, Cano, and Melky are a start, they need to continue developing their own prospects or acquiring younger talent. That being said I absolutely LOVE Joba's enthusiasm. It's about time someone showed some passion and emotion out there. I feel like this argument is very old school versus new school, much like NHL goal celebrations. I, for one, am extremely supportive of players showing us that they love what they do and they're excited when they succeed.

NC: I think Girardi has brought energy. He’s cracked down on these veteran players with everything from more strenuous spring training to banning candy from the locker room. They know who is boss. Also, the Yankees aren’t really as old as people think. Giambi is 37, Posada is 36, and Mussina is 39 but that’s about it really. (Mariano is 38 but I don’t think we need to worry about him). Jeter and A-Rod are 33 and 32 respectively and easily have 5 superstar years in them. It’s about underperformance. Damon, for example, is a bad leadoff hitter having not hit over .300 since joining the Yankees with an OBP never cracking .370. I don’t need to harp on Giambi’s problems but you get my point. If Girardi has one fault, it is expectation that these players will go back to their old ways. When the lineup is back in order, Damon needs to drop to the 9 spot to make room for Melky who should lead off.

As for Joba, rock on! That’s his style. As long as it stays on the field – what’s the problem? I think hitters should be more concerned about not letting Joba strike out. I think this is different from Manny Ramierz staring at one of his homers.

GM: Alright let’s change gears to the NHL. Not much to report on the conference finals. The Stars and Flyers are both hanging on by a thread. Let’s take a shot at the awards. We’re going to bring in our old friend Sean Connery to give us a hand…

Sean Connery: You’ll rule the day you crossed me, you two. While I am not busy trying to “entrap” Catherine Zeta Jones I have been enjoying the always exciting National Hockey League. I, of course, watch only on Canadian television because only Don Cherry dresses better than I do. Let’s start with the “holy grail”…HAHA…of individual awards: The Hart Trophy. And the nominees are…

Hart Trophy (MVP): Alex Ovechkin (Washington), Jarome Iginla (Calgary), Geno Malkin (Pittsburgh)

GM: Thanks, Mr. Connery. Before the start of the playoffs, much was made about who would win this award. Would Ovechkin win it without the Capitals making the playoffs? The answer was yes at that point, and after miraculously winning the Southeast Division title the answer remains an emphatic YES. Iginla and Malkin had fantastic seasons, Iginla doing what he always does, and Malkin showcasing that Sid the Kid isn't the only superstar in Steel Town. But this was the year for Alexander the GR8 (Terrible nickname, thanks CCM) who almost scored 70 goals this year. If he had done so I would have been out 20 bucks so I'm glad he didn't.

NC: I am with ya there, Misconduct. You win the Art Ross and the Rocket Richard Trophy and the Hart is in your future.

Sean Connery: Way to go out on a limb there, Mr. Crasher. By the way, I noticed you are sitting down for this discussion. What’s the matter sweaty? Have a date last night?

Vezina Trophy (Best Goalie): Martin Brodeu (New Jersey), Evgeni Nabokov (San Jose), Henrik Lundqvist (New York)

GM: I think all of these goalies had phenomenal years, but JS Giguere deserved to be a finalist. After winning the Cup in June, he came back to lead the Ducks through the regular season without Niedermayer and Selanne and posted great numbers. He was their season long MVP and deserved to be recognized by the rest of the league. Broder and Lundqvist were finalists yet again due to the Eastern bias, but Nabokov should walk away with the hardware.

NC: We agree again. Gigy definitely had a good year, but I like the nominees. All three goalies that got the nod were really the secret to their team's success. Lundquist was streaky at times, but posted a league leading 10 shutouts in front of a flimsy Ranger blue line. Brodeur is Brodeur – strong play and a league lead in games played. But, ranked number one in wins and games played and third in goals against, I got to go with Nabakov

Sean Connery: and I’ll go with the penis mightier! Let’s move on to the Norris trophy, of course named after the storied Texas Ranger.

Norris Trophy (Top Defenseman): Nick Lidstrom (Detroit), Dion Phaneuf (Calgary), Zdeno Chara (Boston)

GM: This won't even be close.

Sean Connery: That’s not what your mother said last night!

GM: What?? Anyway, Lidstrom is absolutely timeless and doesn't slow down. Phaneuf will win one once Nick retires but til then this is his award to lose. Chara proved last season was due to Dave Lewis' coaching and not his physical abilities. Phaneuf wins in the end by getting to hook up with Elisha Cuthbert, but if she's slept with Sean Avery, and Dion sleeps with her, does that mean that he's kind of boning Sean Avery? I've got mental images in my head and it’s not a pretty picture... I'm thinking Lidstrom wins this one too because he probably married some Swedish volley ball player. God Bless the Swedes

Sean Connery: Not a fan of the ladies are you Misconduct?

NC: I don’t think one can understand how good Nick Lindstrom is until you watch him play. He is a phenomenal player. I don’t think I have ever seen him make a mistake on the ice. Granted he is on the best team in the league with Brian Rafalski at the other point, but his 70 points and +40 rating can’t be ignored. Not only did he lead the league in both, but he dominated the league in both. (5 points and +10 ahead of the next D-Man on the list). Phaneuf’s future is bright but he’ll have to wait for the post-Lindstrom era to shine. In the mean time, he should enjoy the girl next door. For the sake of all men everywhere. By the way, I wouldn’t be surprised if Avery were somehow involved with the Miley Cyrus pictures.

Sean Connery: Now how about the young lads? The Calder Trophy…

Calder Trophy (Top Rookie): Pat Kane (Chicago), Nick Backstrom (Washington), Jon Toews (Chicago)

GM: This year was a revival of hockey in Chi-town. With the Sex Cannon

Sean Connery: Yes?

GM: Not you, old man! With the Sex Cannon basically giving away the football at every offensive possession, Chicagoans were looking for a young, fresh, and sexy team to root for, and HORRY KOW did they get just that. The Blackhawks are no longer a joke and these two youngsters have led the way. Toews who scored a ridiculous goal (runner up to this one) against Colorado looks like a more physical Joe Sakic type player, he’ll be captain by 2010. Kane and Backstrom had better offensive numbers, and Toews missed some time due to injury but he’s still my pick. Carey Price should have been a finalist.

NC: Price splitting time with Huet certainly hurt his chances, but I definitely expect big things out of him in the future. Mr. Connery do you know what the name “Carey” means?

Sean Connery: Suck it, NetCrasher.

NC: It means “castle-dweller.” Coincidence? I don’t think so. Price is a brick wall. With Kane and Towes, Chicago’s future has to be looking good. But for now, how about Backstrom? He finished only behind Kane with 69 points and led all rookies with 55 assists. He also had a solid +13 rating and scored 4 game winning goals (tied with Kane and a few others there). But one cannot ignore the huge lift, he gave the team. Also with 4 goals, 2 assists, and an average of 20 minutes of ice time per game in the playoffs, Backstom was a huge benefit to his team’s surprising success.

Well, that's it for this week. Plenty more in the days to come including NCAA Lacrosse, a Stanley Cup Preview, Sean Avery's muffin recipe, and the Willie Randolph's rough season.

Sean Connery: That's the way your mother likes it!

The Blue Jay's Back: Lessons from Round 1

2008-05-14T13:46:00.003-04:00

The ever elusive Blue Jay has given me his top ten lessons learned from the opening round of the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Championships. Round two will be this weekend on ESPU and promise to be very exciting. Check it out if you can…

1. The GWLL was not overrated: Many thought that with three teams being represented, the GWLL, was receiving too much credit. With Notre Dame knocking off one of the hottest teams in the nation in Colgate, Ohio State blowing out higher seeded Cornell on their home field, and Denver playing Maryland tight to the very end, the GWLL is the second best conference this year, behind the ACC.

2. UMBC is the real deal: Even with an 11 game win streak to close the year there were many doubters about whether UMBC was a top-flight team. Despite 3 overtime wins and a historic 11-2 comeback for a 14-13 win over Albany in the America East Championship game (after losing top scorer Ryan Smith early in the contest to a torn ACL), the Retrievers were sent down to Charlottesville where they very nearly knocked of another higher ranked ACC team in the first round. (Last year, they defeated Maryland at College Park ) They lost to the second seeded Cavaliers, 10-9. UMBC has wins over two of the remaining teams in the tournament (Maryland and Ohio State) and also defeated first round loser Denver. Coach Don Zimmerman has built a great program at UMBC, who was a win away from the final four last year.

3. Defense wins championships: We saw success from more conservative, half field teams like Hopkins, Notre Dame, Maryland, and Navy, while run-and-gun higher seeds North Carolina and Cornell are done. This was epitomized in the nation’s leading defense, Navy, upsetting free-flowing North Carolina down in Chapel Hill. We even saw offense generated from this defense, as Maryland, Navy and Ohio State all saw goals coming from long sticks, while Ohio State goalie Stefan Schroder even got into the act with an electric coast to coast score to open the contest.

4. Tradition: Since 2003, there have been 5 teams who have made it to the final four more than once, all of whom advanced this past weekend (Hopkins, Virginia, Syracuse, Maryland, and Duke). Throw in a Navy team which made it to the finals in 2004 and you get the idea it isn’t coincidence who came to play this past weekend.

5. The travel rule needs to be amended: Given teams need to be in a given radius to still use a bus, the GWLL situation used up the first round flight limit of two. This forced Canisius to stay up to play third seeded Syracuse while higher ranked Duke and Virginia had much tougher opponents in Loyola and UMBC. Hopkins also drew Hofstra since Baltimore was the only other city within the specified range. Meanwhile North Carolina had to play Navy who upset the Tar Heels while Hopkins handled Hofstra. The point of the playoffs is to find a true and fair champion; teams play in their conferences all year, let them travel a bit for the sake of fairness.

Net Crasher’s Note: Imagine if Loyola or UMBC actually did pull off upsets? (Both teams had opportunities throughout the game to do so) Something tells me Coaches Danowski and Starsia would be dropping lacrosse sticks in favor of pitch forks.

6. Weather Conditions: For better or worse, the weather has created some interesting games in the NCAA tournament. In 2003, a muddy M&T Bank Stadium saw an extremely sloppy championship game, as Tillman Johnson turned out a great performance. Hopkins could not generate much all afternoon, and Virginia won the championship 9-7. Hopkins found themselves the beneficiary of a pair of weather delays in ’05 and ’07. The Jays won a pair of thrilling overtime games over UVA and Notre Dame, both wins coming on the path to national championships. This year the rain came on Sunday, producing an 8-7 comeback overtime win by Notre Dame over Colgate, and a crazy, back and forth 10-9 win for UVA over UMBC at Klockner. It’s funny how the same teams seem to be involved in these contests. Perhaps Virginia or Notre Dame will use the momentum to fuel a run?

Net Crasher Note: UVA-JHU in 2005 was one of the great sports moments of all-time. Go ahead, challenge me…I dare you.

7. Record Breakers: In recent memory, there have been few players as successful as Paul Rabil and Matt Danowski. Both are two time Tawaaraton nominees and locks to be three-time first team All-Americans, and both set meaningful records this weekend. Danowski went for 7 points against Loyola to break Joe Vasta’s career points record of 343. Rabil, with a 4 goal afternoon, got to 101 goals on his career, which broke the Hopkins midfield scoring record, previously held by Dave Huntley. (Father of Rabil’s teammate and classmate, Kevin Huntley)

8. Living (at-)Large: Of the three unseeded teams which gained at-large births (Ohio State, Denver and Navy), two were victorious, and the third, Denver, as mentioned earlier certainly earned their keep. I think this shows the selection committee did a fine job when deciding between bubble teams, despite the initial backlash from the selections.

9. Goaltending: It is very difficult to win a championship unless your goalie can play well throughout the playoffs. Often times, we see it’s a spectacular effort from the goalie that will lead teams to victory on Memorial Day. Tillman Johnson did it for Virginia in ’03, and Jesse Schwartzman, despite being only a slightly better than average goalie his career, was huge in championship games over Duke in ’05 and ’07. All three of these accounts lead to tournament MVP’s for said goalies. This weekend, the most impressive performance was turned in by a team who lost, Colgate, as Tim Harrington made 18 saves on 24 shots. No keeper took over a game (in victory, at least) in the first round. Consistent with the parity all season, we have still yet to see which goalie is going to step up and take over this tournament.

NC’s Note: Keep your eyes on Joey Kemp out of Notre Dame. He was playing like a man possessed at the end of the Colgate Game. Hopkins goalie Michael Gvozdan also has a lot to prove. His performance in the tournament will likely prove whether he is the rightful successor to Schwartzman.

10. Warrior: Warrior has perhaps launched the most ridiculous advertising campaign…ever. I guess it’s a step up from seeing the K-18 commercial on repeat with Kyle Harrison doing fitness drills around Baltimore.

NC Note: Check out one of the commercials here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rB9jLyuhHo

No Money, No Stars, No Problem

2008-05-13T14:08:00.002-04:00

What has to be THE story of the young 2008 baseball season is the continued success of small market, low payroll teams. We’ve seen the crazy records and stats early in the season before, and we don’t pay much attention to the Orioles undefeated record if they start 3-0 or start chanting MVP when Joey Gathright is hitting .670 in the first week of the season. Baseball fans understand that baseball is a long season and things even out in the end. It’s “win 60, lose 60” as the old adage goes. (Don't you think that they could have squeezed that line into Field of Dreams?)So, we are now a month in and some of those teams that are supposed to take their inevitable slide haven’t.

Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays ($43,422,997, 29^th in the league)

Yes, I think Carl Crawford is a superstar, but I think the casual fan would be hard pressed to name another player on the Rays. Still, they hit just .5 game behind the Red Sox for first place in the AL East. Their 6 games over .500 record is the best in franchise history and they are in the top ten in just about ever relevant offensive and pitching statistical category. How do they do it? After all, the Yankees line-up has been getting similar production yet are looking up (and scratching their heads) at the Rays.

It all comes down to pitching. The Rays young starters all average over six innings per start, which keeps their bullpen fresh. James Shields has already thrown two complete games. This has allowed their bullpen to combine for only six of their sixteen losses. Anchored by Troy Percival who has 9 saves and a 1.93 ERA, the Rays are not giving opposing line-ups a break.

Oakland A’s ($47,167,126 payroll, 28^th in the league)

Best record in the AL! Is this a Moneyball Renaissance? The formula is the same the Rays. Their starters have been able to consistently go long, not quite as long as the Rays, but that’s ok since their bullpen is 8-2 with a 2.79 ERA. Huston Street is 9 for 11 in save opportunities with 18 K’s in 16 IP. The A’s have the third lowest runs against total in baseball with only 145 RA.

Minnesota Twins ($ 56,932,766 payroll, 25^th in the league)

Johann who? With the White Sox and Tigers becoming powerhouses most believed the Twins dominance of the AL Central had come to an end. But if you notice the pattern here, Livan Hernandez and company have led the Twins atop their division. The starting rotation is .500 at 13-13 with a 4.68 rotation – nothing special there. But their bullpen is 7-4 with a 3.32 ERA and Joe Nathan is a perfect 12 for 12 in saves with a 1.93 ERA. The Twins find themselves in the bottom half of the league with only 165 runs scored but are still pitching their way out of games.

So are these teams all going to make the playoffs? Will the Yankees and Red Sox outslug the Rays for the AL East title? Will the Angels and Tigers land more superstars at the trade deadline to surpass the A’s and Twins? These scenarios are quite possible. The season is, of course, still very young. So what can we take way from these statistics?

I think it’s pretty obvious. Consistent pitching is the key to winning. The ability for starters to go long keeps the bullpen fresh and avoids the dreaded “big inning.” Bad performances from the bullpen are not merely the consequence of bad pitchers in the bullpen (as Yankee fans often get overly caught up with). Granted, a team’s best pitchers are on the starting staff but factors such as overuse and being brought in to pitch in the middle of innings can equally contribute.

If you have already figured out that this is a not-so-veiled criticism of the Yankees then you are one smart cookie. Hank Steinbrenner needs to stop complaining about how the “pitching experiment” is not working and how we need to start signing free agents. Maybe the dynasty Yankees did have a lot of free agent pitching, but those pitchers were not former all-stars whose good outings culminated in being lifted in the 5^th inning. The great “free agents” like David Cone were workhorses (Cone threw 146 pitches in Game of the 1995 ALDS). It seems if Steinbrenner had his way, Randy Johnson (44 years old) and David Wells (45 years old) would back in pinstripes. So let’s put down out checkbooks and wait and see what happens.

Please have mercy on us

2008-05-13T13:39:00.005-04:00

Dear Mr. Sather,
Being in the media giant that is New York for the past several years you must have made some connections with very high powered individuals. Through these connections I’m sure you’ve met your share of television executives. Now many of the network television stations run reality programs such as “Dancing With the Stars” and “America’s Got Talent.” Now I implore you to use these connections to save your team from another year of playoff follies. “How” you ask? The answer is simple. Allow Ryan “Hollywood” Hollweg to leave the team in order to join one of these shows. He’s proven on MSG that he can dance better than Jason Taylor, so please allow Ryan to fulfill his dream of being a Hollywood starlet and fulfill his destiny. Thank you.

The Weekend Wrap: Chris Farley, The Cross Bronx Expressway, and How a Father's Love Won the Revolutionary War

2008-05-12T13:43:00.003-04:00

Sometime during the 9 hours I spent on the couch on Saturday, I realized this was a great weekend for sports - plenty of exciting action going on. In case you were busy shopping for mom or dozing off on the couch (as I was), here is what we learned this weekend…

Early Leads for the Favorites in the NHL Playoffs

The Pens and the Red Wings are legit after dominating both games 1 and game 2
Gino Malkin punching Derian Hatcher in the face is further evidence that he is one of the best all-around players in the game.
The Flyers blue line is starting to look like the Continental Army in The Patriot. Can Jaroslav Modry be Philly’s Benjamin Martin?
Detroit clearly doesn’t have enough offense. They have had 6 different players score each of their six goals this series.
No one envies Marty Turco (32 saves on 34 shots in Game 2)
Both conference finals may not go as deep as we originally thought, but hey, Red Wings- Penguins is looking pretty exciting right now.

So Much NCAA Lacrosse

Notre Dame is now 1-1 in first round games in the rain that go to overtime (and improve to 1-0 under such conditions at home)
UMBC is a legit program who will continue to improve.
Johns Hopkins knows how to spell redemption (R-A-B-I-L)
Canisus? Anyone know where that is? Did they have a game yesterday?
Bucknell played Army on Saturday – unfortunately it was not in lacross e (they were two deserving teams who I am sure we have not heard the last of)
Denver proved that the west can play lacrosse also just not quite as well as the east
Ohio State showed that Ivy League lacrosse is not what it used to be. (Cornell’s loss is a tough set-back for a promising program)
Navy made sure there was one solid upset this year

Darrell Rasner is Benjamin Martin…or at least Aaron Small

Darrell Rasner improves to 2-0 holding both Seattle and Detroit to 2 runs in 6 innings.
Rasner’s performance is further evidence that the Yankees can’t keep thinking in terms of Chamberlain-Hughes-Kennedy. They have a generation of solid, young pitching waiting in the wings. It would be foolish to not ensure that each got a fair shot.
Robbie Cano is on a six game hitting streak. Not quite batting on the interstate yet – let’s say he is still stuck in traffic on the Cross Bronx.
Jason Giambi is hitting .333 with vast increases in on base percentage in his last seven games. I am upgrading him from “useless” to “not exactly hurting us.” Let’s see how long he stays there.

…That’s Spanish for “THE NINO”

Sergio Garcia will win have at least one big tournament victory under his belt
I need to do better at not falling asleep when the final group is on the 72^nd (and 73^rd) hole.
TPC Sawgrass is one beautiful course. I would pretty much give anything to hit a couple wedges into the 17th green. (ok maybe a nine iron!)
If Paul Goydos can be that cool about losing a tournament I have no business throwing my putter in the bunker after three-putting a birdie putt.
In golf, the better player always wins. You can get all of the bounces you want; the player who hits the ball best from tee to green wins the tournament. This week, it was Sergio. Garcia led the field in driving accuracy and greens in regulation, which compensated for his average putting performance.

American Gladiators or American 'Roided up Killing Machines?

2008-05-12T11:25:00.004-04:00

We all know about how on the original American Gladiators, the Gladiators openly used to admitting steroid abuse. Barry Bonds could learn a thing or two from them about honesty, but the 2007 reincarnation of the show made no such claims. In the first season, Monica Carlson (above), a 32 year-old mother set AG records and was embraced by all for her “can-do” attitude and the fact that she was a non-roided out freak of nature. She was hot and cute and a former Trailblazer dancer (anyone willing to work for that franchise deserves some level of respect). Here’s her bio from the first season:

“Monica Carlson is a 32-year-old mother of 8-year-old twins and a former Portland Trailblazer dancer. Growing up "American Gladiators" was her favorite show. Her husband is a football coach and athletics plays a large part in the family. One of 11 kids growing up, Monica is in great shape and loves competition. She currently lives in Milwaukie, Oregon.”

Well Monica went on to win and was promoted to be a Gladiator in the show’s second season. Here is her current photo gallery. Is that really the same person? I can understand working out strenuously for 8 months can really help, but I’m scared that she would tear my head off now. It’s like that Family Guy episode where Lois learns karate, kicks Peter’s ass in the bedroom, and at some point Stewie hits Peter in the head with a baseball bat. I imagine her home is a lot like that.

Friday Chat Part Deux

2008-05-09T16:09:00.005-04:00

Thought we were done - did ya? We still have some MLB shenanigans to take care of. We'll kepp our friends from TGIF out of this one and leave it to the pros.

Net Crasher: For the last time....you can't have Al from Step by Step be your new partner. That was a one shot deal and you got stuck with Cody. Next time, maybe you'll know better. Anyway, Mr. Misconduct, let's turn our attention to a little situation brewing in Cincinnati. Apparently, Ken Griffey Jr. is not happy on a team who has had one winning season since he signed with them. He is asking for a trade. Should the Reds let the Grif pack his bags?

Game Misconduct: It’s been nothing but bad news since he joined the Reds. It’s killed my fantasy team year after year. Who goes to Cincinnati as a free agent anyway? That’s like going to Sizzler when you could have gone to Peter Luger’s to get a delicious steak. Griffey should have shot his agent, MarHar style. This guy should have gone down as one of the best hitters of all time, but… aw who cares?! All you need to know is Cincinnati was probably the worst city he could have chosen to play in.

Crasher: Missy, I don’t blame Griffey bad numbers on his time in Cincy. It’s all about injuries. Grif played under 100 games in 4 seasons. So essentially, he is a 38 year old but should really be 35 or so statistically – now we see another reason why ‘roids are such an issue. Recovery time! Grif stayed clean and paid for it. That said, the-soon-to-be member of the 600 HR club should leave Cincy. The man deserves a championship or at least a run at one. His last real run was in 1995. Not to mention, the Reds could certainly use a shake-up on their team. My guess is that Grif will want an East coast team that can contend in the short-term. Among Grif’s reasons for leaving Seattle was the distance for his family who lived in Orlando and his dad who lived in Cincinnati. The biggest question is on position though. Most contenders are set when it comes to a center fielder. Assuming outfield positions could be juggled around, I could see the Mets, Red Sox, White Sox, and Braves in the hunt. Sure would love to see him in pinstripes…

Misconduct: Maybe he should have ‘roided up. Griffey is certainly a Hall of Famer but was once talked about breaking records back in the 90’s. Now the only record people want to see him break is the 100 game plateau. Can you magine the numbers this guy would have had if he had stayed healthy? It’s really a shame because Griff seemed like a good person off the field and a better ambassador to the game than say McGwire, Clemens, or Giambi. If he wants to take a run at a ‘ship, would the Yanks really be a viable option? They’re around .500 and in the ultra competitive AL it’s going to be hard locking up a playoff spot with the way they’re playing. I’m thinking this is a rebuilding year for the Yanks and it’s time to shed the old baggage and let the youth grow and play. It’s working for the Rangers, it should work for the Yankees and their fans.

Crasher: The Yankees are rebuilding their pitching but that doesn’t mean they need to keep youth in their line-ups. They really don’t. Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano are really the only two young position players that are in regularly. A trade (likely involving Matsui or Damon) for Griffey could help to jump start and the continuingly underperforming Yankee offense. In the “arms race” of power hitting, the Tigers and Red Sox easily rival the Yanks. This would help to set them apart. I agree this would make the Yanks even older but may not be a bad way to keep them competitive.

Speaking of old guys in pinstripes how about David Wells? The soon-to-be 45 year old south paw has been throwing BP for his son’s high school team to keep in shape. Could he be a one year fill-in for the injured/struggling Yankee rotation? Hank Steinbrenner didn’t rule it out. He talked about seeing him on TV and thinking, “It just might work.” Misconduct, let’s hope he doesn’t have Little Big League or Angels in the Outfield on his Netflix.

Misconduct: I was sure that by the age of 45 David Wells would have lived so hard and fast that he’d be dead. If that had happened he would have gone down as one of the greatest athletes to call NY home. But now he’s just another in a growing list of past their prime warriors wanting one last shot at glory. As we can see by the Yankees record, Major League hitters are a lot different than some random high school. Additionally, look at the older Yankee pitchers (i.e. Pettite and Mussina). Sure their numbers aren’t terrible but they’re no longer the aces they once were and probably wouldn’t be in the Majors if it weren’t for the Yankees looking more like a retirement home than a baseball team. Wells should have filed his retirement papers years ago. It’s one thing for a 46 year old Chelios to keep playing because he keeps himself in freakishly good shape, but Wells has NEVER been one to concern himself with his personal health, so I just don’t see it happening. Or at least I don’t want it to happen. In closing, bring back Bernie Williams!

Crasher: In this Roger Clemens/Barry Bonds era its makes the antics of David Wells a little more laughable than the used to be. I would love to see Boomer come back – it would be a blast! But let’s been realistic hear, the Yankees have made some major sacrifices (namely not getting Santana) in favor of developing young pitching. Let’s remember that this is more than just Chamberlin, Hughes, and Kennedy. There are a number of solid young pitchers in the Yankee system who don’t have their best stuff now, but who knows what happens when they get to the majors. Young guns like Alan Horne, Darrell Rasner (who looks to go 2-0 on Sunday), Jeff Karstens, and Chase Wright all have potential to be big league pitchers. I’d rather see these guys combine for a .500 record and a 5.00 ERA as the Yankee’s fifth starter than for Boomer to put up the same numbers in his “victory lap.” I find it concerning that Hank Steinbrenner actually said (Brian Cashman, take a deep breath...),

"What sticks out in my mind, that team in the late '90s, the starting pitching," he said. "You had [David] Cone, El Duque [Orlando Hernandez Orlando Hernandez ], Wells . . . they were all big-game pitchers. They all came from elsewhere - not in the system.

"Everybody talks about the great players from the farm system that we had in the '90s, but it was the starting rotation. That was a huge part of the success. Huge."

And don’t count out Pettite and Moose, the Yanks would be in the cellar right now if not for them!

Well that does it for the Friday chat. Same time, same place next week.

Good night, Canada!

Friday Chats: Carl Winslow Approved

2008-05-09T10:43:00.005-04:00

Happy Friday, y’all. Speaking of which, whatever happened to TGIF? Remember Friday night’s on ABC? Family Matters, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, what a line-up! Throw in Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper in the 9:30 slot. We’re talking the Murderer’s Row of Sitcoms But that’s for another day. It’s time for the Friday chat and in honor of TGIF, we have brought in some guest bloggers. Game Misconduct will be getting a little help from Cody Lambert from Step by Step, and Net Crasher will be taking Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World as my tag team partner. Today’s topic is NHL Western Conference Finals….

Cody: Whoooaa, it’s the Code-Man, ready to break down some pucks with the always righteous Game Misconduct. I watched Game 1 out in my van with a gallon of Tang and some Bugles. And, dude, did the ‘Wings look good….

Game Misconduct: Right you are…bro…I hate to say it but after watching Game 1 it's probably got to be Detroit. Dallas has stronger goaltending, but that’s the only advantage I think they have, but Osgood has been very good, so it’s almost a wash

With Johan “The Mule” Franzen the hottest forward in the league to go with Selke finalists Datsyuk and Zetterberg, as well as Tomas Holmstrom, I think the Wings are too deep up front. What’s scary is that while extremely talented they are also very disciplined, and they have been for quite some time. Coach Mike Babcock has to be given credit and has proved himself to be a fantastic NHL coach already having led the Mighty Ducks to the Stanley Cup Finals in 2003. One interesting point regarding Detroit in this year’s playoffs is that they have yet to face a 100-point team up until now. That may be caused by the parity in the conference or the fact that they were the #1 seed. They also were lucky in the sweep against Colorado because “Burnaby” Joe was the only member of the Avalanche to show up for the series, while most of the team was injured or completely collapsed (AHEM Jose Theodore). Dallas is deep down the middle with Modano, Ribeiro, and former Conn Smythe winner Brad Ricahrds, but thin on the wings. When Brendan Morrow replaced Modano as captain a few seasons ago I thought it was a slap in the face to one of the greatest American hockey players, but it looks to have been a solid move by both the players and the team as Morrow has willed his team to wins this playoff season. The playoffs were made for this guy.

Cody: Speaking of Captains…I went hunting with Frank and JT the other day and…

Game: Detroit’s backline featuring All-World D-man Nik Lidstrom, followed by Rafalski, Chelios (yes, he’s still playing), Kronwall (finally seems to be fulfilling his potential), and Brad Stuart (is there a career this franchise can’t resurrect? Paging Alexandre Daigle) Detroit seems just too deep. Dallas D-corps seems either very old with Zubov and Norstrom or very green Daley, Fistric, and Niskanen. Zubov has been there before, and Norstrom is a warrior but they just don’t compare to the firepower that Detroit can throw at you

As painful as it is, Detroit is too talented and too well coached, so I’m going to have to say Detroit in 6.

Feeney: Mr. Net Crasher…wake up…Mr. Net Crasher it’s your turn to speak

Net Crasher: Huh? What…What are we talking about?

Feeney: You were supposed to give a presentation about the Western Conference Semi-Finals…perhaps Mr. Minkus can help you out…

Stuart Minkus: In 1993, the Minnesota North Stars moved south to Dallas…

Crasher: Shut Up, Minkus!

Man, do I want to take the Stars. They had some great momentum from the San Jose series and you can’t say enough about the goaltending of Marty Turco. 8 wins with a shutout in the post-season and a .924 save percentage. Not quite the statistical equal of Chris Osgood, but let’s remember the competition here. As a five seed, Dallas had to go through San Jose and the Ducks (both who were in the conversation for winning the cup this year).

Feeney: But alas, game one will prove costly for Dallas, especially since Turco is 0-8-2 at Joe Louis Arena.

Crasher: Yes, thank you, Mr. Feeney

You can’t look past the unreal offensive prowess of the Red Wings who lit up Turco for 4 last night. Datsyuk, Zetterberg, Holmstrom and of course the playoff’s hottest player in Johan Franzen. I am with Game Misconduct here, it doesn’t get much deeper than the Detroit offense. My pick (way to go out on a limb here) for the Norris Trophey, Nicklas Lindstrom anchors a strong blue line (Brian Ralfaski was a great acquisition) and Chris Osgood (yet another Islander expatriate) has been the best goalie on paper in the playoffs.

Of course, Dallas is on fire. Turco has been flat out great. Like Missy Misconduct said, the addition of Brad Richards at the deadline brings first-rate veteran leadership to the locker room (he also has 11 points in 13 playoff games this year). And I think its fair to say that everyone loves the play of Brendan Morrow.

Feeney: Who, as you know, is the son-in law of Canadians Coach Guy Carbonneau.

Crasher: Mr. F…F…F…FEENAY!!! What are you talking about?

Feeney: Maybe if you spend less time working on your Feeney Call with Mr. Hunter and more time doing your reading you would know that.

Crasher: Sorry, Mr. Feeney

But yea, Brendan Morrow is really good. Beyond scoring the clincher against the Sharks, Morrow has 12 points in the 13 games including 8 goals. Look for him to continue his great play.

Of course, if Dallas wants to have a chance they will need great play from their blue line. I think Norstrom and Zubov still have plenty in the tank and if they can come up big for Dallas, the Stars could find their way to the Cup finals.

This will definitely be the best series of the playoffs so far.

Feeney: and your prediction?

Crasher: Detroit in 7. Dallas really needed game 1.

Shut Up and Jam

2008-05-08T13:38:00.002-04:00

With a video game already to his credit, Charles Barkley needs his own TV show, and here's why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWGILBNhIng&eurl=http://deadspin.com/ ‘nuff said.

Roger Clemens Crashes and Burns, Isaac Newton Loves Every Minute

2008-05-07T16:39:00.002-04:00

May 7, 2007

"Well, they came and got me out of Texas, and I can tell you it's a privilege to be back," he said. "I'll be talking to y'all soon."

..Yankee Stadium erupts/Red Sox Nation[1] cringes

May 5, 2008

"Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right."

…all of baseball cringes

What a difference a year makes! I still vividly remember sitting and watching the video on loop. For a moment, I thought Clemens could have maybe chosen some more exciting, dramatic, or inspirational words, but then I realized he would be back. The Rocket was coming back and was going to deliver the injury plagued Yankees back to their rightful place atop the AL East. He could have recited Emily Dickenson from the owner’s box for all I cared. Roger was back in pinstripes.

Who woulda thought that I would have regretted those feelings? Of course in my defense, the guy did have 348 career wins and 4604 strike outs when we resigned him. Even Jason Giambi was excited, "If he'd like, I'd carry his bags out to the car.” (or maybe he just empathized with an over-the-hill player with “an impressive work ethic”)

Now, I just wish Roger would go away. Regardless of whether the current allegations are true or not, I just can’t bear to hear anymore about Clemens troubled life. It’s not fair to his family, his friends, and the game of baseball. If only Clemens took a page out of Andy Pettite’s book: a quite apology and back to business. Instead, Clemens paraded through the halls of Congress proclaiming his innocence and decrying the witch hunt (credit Andy for not following his lead). What was Rusty Hardin thinking? (Was he watching reruns of Matlock instead of considering the danger in which he was placing his client?) Clemens could very well have perjured himself, while voluntarily testifying. What a mess!

Beyond the great tragedy this must all be for Clemens’ family and his fans. Let’s talk about the impact on baseball. Remember the 1998 Home Run Race? Remember how it re-sparked interest in baseball after the damage of the 1994 strike? Well it has officially gotten its “equal and opposite reaction.” Isaac Newtown is loving every minute! Consider this:

After a bitter strike, replacement players, and the cancellation of the 1994 season, baseball finally got its good will back. Television ratings and attendance were up, and the country was enthralled by the home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. The rich history of baseball re-entered the hearts of baseball fans. Fans looked back to the great race of 1961 between Maris and Mantle and knew they were living history. And could it have been two better characters? First was Mark McGwire, the family man, who became very emotional when discussing the great history of the game and Roger Maris’ great legacy. Then there was the quirky and always cheerful Sammy Sosa, with his big “skip” down their first baseline and crazy hand motions.

Fast forward…

In 2006, Mark McGwire, a member of the All-Century team in 2001, got one quarter of the necessary votes for the Hall of Fame. When questioned in Congress, McGwire lawyered up and pled the fifth. Sports fans laughed at his “I’m not hear to talk about the past lined.”

From 2005, Sosa’s career spiraled from the Orioles’ #7 hitter, to minor league player, to washed-up slugger that no one would sign. His English speaking skills escaped him when questioned by Congress and also did not deny steroid use.

It’s also worth noting the Ken Griffey Jr. who had hit 56 home runs in both 1997 and 1998 is still a force to be reckoned with in the major leagues. In 2007, he played in 144 games and hit 30 home runs (at the age of 37). It’s never iffy, if it’s Griffey .

This brings us back to Roger. If fans’ ill-will toward the fallen sluggers, McGwire and Sosa, didn’t push them away from the game, Roger Clemens had to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Everything that was gained in 1998 has been lost (and then some. The number of baseball fans in America is at its lowest point in two decades (43%). Roger needs to put an end to circus for the sake of his dignity and for the sake of the game.

[1] The author acknowledges that the term “Red Sox Nation” is a fraudulent abstraction drummed up some producer on SportsCenter. He uses this term for lack of a better one.

The Blue Jay Told Me: NCAA Lacrosse First Round

2008-05-05T16:02:00.003-04:00

I just had a secret meeting with the Blue Jay who apparently is out joy riding in Kyle Harrison's STX Lacrosse jeep. Not cool, Mr. Blue Jay.

Anyway, here's his rundown on the first round match-ups in the NCAA Men's Lacrosse First Round...

Denver at MD: Denver snuck in as the third Great Western Lacrosse League team to make it. The NCAA makes a point of seeding only the top 8. While generally it doesn’t mean much, it is because the next 8 are assigned loosely based on travel. That being said, with three teams making it from the GWLL, a subplot to this tournament will be how their first round matches come out. Denver might have a tough time with the time zone and altitude changes when they lead off with the noon game. Denver will look to utilize skills obtained during summer crab fishing jobs.

Loyola at Duke: Loyola found their way in with the automatic ECAC bid with an upset win over Georgetown, which proved costly for the Hoyas. Duke is the clear favorite in this tournament, seeking their first ever championship, but will face a more difficult than usual opening round game for a 1 seed when they host Loyola. Remember the Greyhouds beat upset Duke last year out in California. With the 2:30 game on Saturday Duke seniors should have no time getting to the afternoon Matinee to get their AARP discount.

Ohio State at Cornell: Ohio State, much like Denver, was aided by an early season victory over Colgate and picked up major RPI points when the Red Raiders went on their enormous run to close the year. An upset win over UNC helped them avoid playing a higher seed in the first round, as they travel to Cornell. Cornell, after falling to Princeton, lucked out when Dartmouth and Brown knocked the Tigers out and paved the way for Cornell to capture their 4th straight IVY crown. A win for Cornell would mean another home game as Ithaca is the neutral site for the northern quarterfinal. Don’t expect high ratings on this game though, as it apparently conflicts with an Ohio State football spring practice, lifting session, and later a televised team meal.

Navy at North Carolina: In a rematch of last years opening round game, Navy will travel to Chapel Hill to face the fourth seeded Tar Heels. Navy was one of the last teams in the tournament, having their worst season since 2003. Carolina, on the other hand, finally broke out to the contender many thought, despite not winning a single ACC game (again). Ian Dingman is not expected to play due to academic ineligibility.

Colgate at Notre Dame: In what may be the best opening round game, two non-traditional powers meet. Notre Dame put together the quietest 2 loss season in the country, only losing their two games by a combined 3 goals, both to tournament teams. They face a Colgate team that has won 7 straight, including a stunning victory over Syracuse this past Saturday. Notre Dame is hoping for nice weather Sunday, as their record is 0-1 during opening round NCAA games with three or more weather delays. (Net Crasher's note: How's that for a stat?)

Hofstra at Johns Hopkins: Johns Hopkins has won 2 of the last 3 national Championships, while Hofstra has defeated the Blue jays in two of their last three meetings, including an 8-7 overtime victory back in March. Hopkins was able to close their season out strong with 5 straight wins, three of which came over tournament teams. Hofstra won the Colonial title with an upset overtime win over favorite Drexel. Hopkins has experience everywhere except the goal, which is where their tournament hopes will ride. The game was moved to Sunday afternoon due to conflict with a champagne and cupcake formal. (N.C.'s note: "sounds like a helluva time")

UMBC at Virginia: Virginia nabbed the two seed with Syracuse’s loss on Saturday but cannot be pleased with the draw of UMBC (which was arranged based on the situation with the GWLL teams previously noted). UMBC started off 1-3, following a 10-8 loss toHopkins, but the retrievers have won 11 straight, 3 of which have come in OT. Along with a 14-13 win over Albany in the America East Tournament finals in which they scored 12 of the last 13 goals, this team will not be intimidated as it will look upset another ACC school in the first round. Las year, it defeated Maryland and then fell to Delaware in the quarterfinals. Virginia also has something to prove, as a team who was embarrassed on their home field in the first round last year as the two seed against the Delaware. UMBC will be concerned with a young man by the name of Ben Rubeor.

Canisius at Syracuse: Canisius gets their first ever NCAA bid with the MAAC championship. They will travel to fellow New York school Syracuse who is back in the tournament after a year hiatus. Syracuse sat atop the polls with Duke most of the year until their loss to Colgate to close the regular season. This might be the most lopsided opening match up of the first round. Syracuse will be aiming for their 9th national title, as they currently have 8. (N.C.'s note: a fact that seems to frequently escape our good friends at ESPN.

ESPN's coverage can be found here.

Da Bears would look good in prison stripes

2008-05-05T10:42:00.003-04:00

Mike Ditka would not be pleased. As the once mighty Chicago Bears continue the downward spiral into mediocrity due to a lack of a receiving corps to match the talent of their quarterback, things just get worse and worse. Cedric Benson, who was supposed to lead their running game this past season, was maced by an officer and charged with BWI, boating while intoxicated, and resisting arrest. What surprises me most about these charges is that a black man owns a boat, and that Benson wasn’t traded to the Bengals neither before nor after the incident. I’m sure Brian Urlacher will teach Benson a lesson if he escapes jail time.

Michael Wilbon is a knucklehead

2008-05-02T15:23:00.013-04:00

So we're trying something new here at Through Your Earpiece today. Since it's the first Friday in May, Crasher and I thought we'd bring you alittle discussion PTI style. We're going to go with a few topics and aruge back and forth as best we can on a blog, feel free to comment.

First topic: Derek Jeter's start to this season

Net Crasher: The only concern I have about Derek Jeter is that he has some work to do to make the all-start team. Otherwise, the Yankee captain will be just fine. He is hitting .286 and effectively hitting the ball into the holes in both directions – truly “Jeterarian” as Michael Kay would say. Sure he is not hitting too many doubles and has yet to steal a base but let’s put that in the grand scheme of the struggling Yankee offense. In front of Jeter is Damon who is hitting .275 and is second on the team in strike outs (which means there is a good chance Jeter is up with no one and one out) Behind Jeter is Abreu who has been the most productive Yankee, so all Jeter really has needed to do is hit singles. No need for him to stretch doubles and steal bases. If I am Joe Girardi I am much more worried about Robinson Cano and Jason Giambi than Derek Jeter. To kick start this offense and pick up the slack for Posada and A-rod, they will have to get going.

Game Misconduct: The fact that Johnny Damon not only still bats leadoff, but is still in the Majors just baffles me. But we’re not here to discuss the man who once looked more like Captain Caveman than a baseball player. Jeter’s average is fourth best on the team at .286 and does face an uphill battle batting behind Damon. I’m a little discouraged at the fact that he has no stolen bases and only 5 extra base hits. The Yankees offense is clearly in the toilet right now which is due to injuries and just not scoring enough runs to win games. Robby Cano (who is killing my fantasy teams) was touted as a soon-to-be AL MVP, but he’s hitting .155 with 7 RBI’s. 7 RBI’s in 30 games is just not good. There’s only so far an excuse like “he’s a slow starter” will carry you until you label this season a step in the wrong direction of his growth as a player. Back to Jeter though, as captain isn’t it his job to try and pick up the rest of the team when they are clearly struggling?

Crasher: I just don't see what more he can do for the team. The last thing you want Jeter to do is swing for the fences at every AB. He's a table setter - the Yanks still have enough power to bring him around.

Game: Maybe what I'm trying to get at, is he really captain worthy or just a very good player? I feel like A-rod may be the only threatening bat in the lineup with most of the younger guys struggling, and the older veterans not hitting well either. Is this a transition/rebuilding period for the Yankees but no one wants to use the big scary "R" word in New York? There's little to no middle ground, they're either old and near the end of their careers or young guns still learning the game. That goes for the pitching staff as well.

Crasher: I think this is a rebuilding year for the Yanks, not to say they can't make a run. The rebuilding is really more with the pitchers though. We have seen great things out of Melky Cabrera, and I am confident Cano will get back on track.

Game: Let's hope so, or else the fans may burn down Yankee Stadium before they can move into the new one.

2nd Topic: Let's take a look at how the big names are performing in the Pens/Rangers series, now at 3-1

Game: As a Ranger fan I’m going to try to be as impartial as possible. For the Pen’s their big names have played extremely well. Geno Malkin, right now is probably the best player on that team, ahead of Captain Sid the Kid. In Game 3 he was absolutely dominant, ending the game with 4 points. Sid’s been good but he hasn’t taken over a game yet and the Rangers D is doing a decent job of not giving him time and space to make plays. His line with Marian Hossa and Dupuis are quick off the transition and always a threat to score. Hossa continues to shed the label he earned in Ottawa as a playoff disappointment, but the Pens still paid a high price to get him at the deadline. Fleury has been very good showing that the first overall pick the Pens used to select him was not a giant mistake, although Eric Staal (selected #2) wouldn’t have been a bad choice either. The Pens player I’m most impressed with is Jordan Staal. He’s fast, has soft hands, and at 19 years old is a fantastic penalty killer.

On the Rangers end, Jaromir Jagr is playing like a man possessed. At the age of 36 people were saying he was washed up during the regular season, but over the past two months he’s shown that when he wants to be he can still be a dominant offensive force, and after so many years in the league I think he should be allowed a little lee way during the regular season. At least he didn’t pull a Niedermayer/Selanne and sit out most of the year only to come back for the final 2 months and playoffs. He's even acted as a mentor to the young Dubinsky. Brendan Shannahan’s presence on the ice has a calming effect on the team, but against a fast team like the Pen’s his age has clearly shown. He’s still an extremely smart player and a good leader but his contributions on the ice are not what they once were. Tom Renney made a good move in game 3 and 4 in moving Shanny down the depth chart in order to keep him fresh for the power play and penalty kills. Lundqvist has not been able to steal a game until Game 4. He was brilliant in the first period allowing the Rangers to take the 1-0 lead in the middle of the second. Without him this series is over. Game 2 he was excellent as well, losing because of a Roszival defensive miscue. Lastly, Marc Staal and Brandon Dubinsky play with so much poise they look like 30-something year old veterans that belies their inability to grow facial hair.

Crasher: As much as I wanted the Rangers to get embarrassed, I am happy to see this series continue on. There are few bigger names in the Eastern Conference now playing in this series. For the Pens, I agree, Malkin has been stellar. He has been throwing his body around and is seemingly always at the right place at the right time. He leads the Pens in the playoffs with 13 points. In the East, he is only behind Danny Briere and Jaromir Jagr. Jagr leads all players with 15 points. His scoring on Fleury and then getting lit up by Brooks Orpik had to be the highlight of the game. Naturally, this has gotten great production out of Jagr’s line: Straka (10 pts) and Dubinsky (8 pts). The Blue Shirts would be foolish not to resign him next year.

I would take it easy on Sid the Kid though. I have liked his physical play and his ability to spread the puck around. His mere presence on this ice makes opposing coaches shuffle up defensemen and create match-up problem. I believe splitting Crosby from Malkin has been a great benefit for Geno. Let’s also credit the Pens blue line. How about that feed from Gonchar to Malkin resulting in the penalty shot? Gonchar has 5 points (in 8 playoff games). Scdueri is at a plus 6. I think they will be crucial for the Pens to go the distance.

More later....

It's time to scheisse, or get off the crapper

2008-05-01T13:50:00.002-04:00

I've been trying not to post about hockey all the time, but with the Rangers' season on the line tonight I can't help myself. Down 3-0 The Rangers will try to at least save face by winning tonight and avoiding the sweep at the hands of the swift skating Penguins.

Before previewing tonight’s action let’s take a look at the other series. In Game 4 in Philly, the Flyers continued to upset the Canadiens fans by defeating the #1 seed by a score of 4-2. Carey Roy Dryden Christ Price sat for the first time in these playoffs in an attempt to spark the team to a win. The Canadiens came up just short and now head back to Montreal facing elimination. Seeing what the fans did after winning Game 7 against the Bruins, this may be the last we see of the city of Montreal.

The Sharks prolonged the inevitable by defeating the Stars 2-1 from goals by captain and last year’s playoff goat, Patrick Marleau, and Milan Michalek. Marleau has played well in these playoffs even after getting laid out by Calgary’s Corey Sarich. He’s definitely shown up this spring, but Joe Thornton remains to be MIA. Surprise, surprise. Picked by many in the preseason as favorites to come out of the Western Conference the Sharks are looking at another short spring which should make for an interesting Spring Cleaning in the front office and of their roster.

In tonight’s action, both the Rangers and Avalanche look to prolong elimination as both teams are down 3-0 in their respective series. Both teams suffer from injuries to important players making their task that much harder. The injuries to both rosters are well documented, but kudos to both Chris Drury and Sean Avery by epitomizing the hockey player mentality and soldiering through painful injuries in the third period on Tuesday night. Drury remains in the line-up tonight, but rookie Lauri Korpikoski will replace Blair Betts on the fourth line. Last season in Game 6 versus the Sabres, Tom Renney inserted Nigel Dawes into the lineup in an effort to jump start the offense. Korpikoski, a former first round pick, only needs to play a calm and solid game to replace Betts. The team is saying all the right things, that it’s a chance to make history, they believe in each other, blah blah blah, but down 3-0 to a team that has beaten you every which way possible does not look promising.

Paging Dr. Basedow

2008-05-01T11:45:00.004-04:00

Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.

They’re dropping like flies out there! It seems like the Yankees should have listened to Uncle Tony about stretching before physical activity because the injury bug has reared its ugly head in the Bronx. Pete Abraham gives the full breakdown here:

They are 28 games into the season and here is their list of injuries:

Andy Petitte (back spasms, spring training)

Jorge Posada (right shoulder strain, April 1)

Derek Jeter (left quad strain on April 7)

Jason Giambi (left groin strain, April 5)

Jose Molina (left hamstring, April 13)

Wilson Betemit (eye infection, April 14)

Alex Rodriguez (right quad strain April 20)

Joba Chamberlain (left hamstring, April 24)

Brian Bruney (right foot fracture, April 24)

Add Phil Hughes to that list who, as of yesterday, is on his way to the DL with a strained oblique and a 9.00 ERA (both equally serious).

With the exception of Wilson Betamit and “the pink-eye”, all of these injuries have been musculoskeletal injuries, and I have a hunch most of them could have been prevented. This is not the case of Jeter sliding into third base and busting up his shoulder (does anyone else hold their breath when he slides head first?). These are all nagging injuries that came from the wear and tear of a baseball season. Most of them also are the product of players playing hurt and reaggravating the injury. Shockingly, this is not the first time it has happened. Remember “The Great Hamstring Scare of 2007.” Just about a year ago, Chien Ming Wang, Mike Mussina, Hideki Matsui, Phil Hughes, and Johnny Damon all had hamstring problems in the first month of the season.

THIS CAN’T BE A COENICDENCE!

One would suspect that the cold weather certainly has affected this. Trips to Cleveland, Chicago, Kansas City, Baltimore and Boston in wet and cold conditions can’t be good for players who are still trying to get loose early in the season. Still, the Yankees have 9 players on the DL tied with the Texas Rangers for worst strength and conditioning program in the league. It’s actually 10 if you count Farnsworth’s 3 game suspension for throwing at Manny, as CBS Sports does (Farnworth out three days for being a head case). Of course, no team in the MLB has lost two players who were considered for MVP last year (A-Rod and Posada).

I’d say the blame should be shared here. Was Girardi paying close enough attention to the players? Was he too wrapped up in trying start his career with the Yankees off with a bang? Did he not feel comfortable telling a veteran like Posada or A-Rod to shut it down? When Jeter injured his quad, he came back a day early. Girardi said it would be one game after he was fully recovered. As far as those covering the Yankees knew, he did not sit this extra game. Perhaps the players should have known better than to play with the injuries? It took Tony Pena noticing A-Rod’s limp to get him out of the game. A-Rod seemed to be content to keep playing. I do think one thing is clear though…

It’s time for the Yankees to hire a new strength and conditioning coach.

Breaking News, Avery done for season

2008-04-30T14:33:00.003-04:00

As is being reported by several sources, Rangers superpest, Sean Avery, has been taken to the hospital after suffering a lacerated spleen sometime Tuesday night in Game 3 against the Penguins. It was announced he will be done for the remainder of the season which means until Thursday, unless you believe Jaromir Jagr and his rididulous playoff facial hair are saying about the possibility of making history vs. the Pens, "I have a very funny feeling about this series. It's not over. It's just my feeling. I don't know how many believe me, but we'll see."

What’s really surprising is that reporters waited until Wednesday to break this story when Avery had been away from the team since Game 1 this past Friday night… What? Too soon?

Kyle Farnsworth Goes Big Buck Hunting

2008-04-29T20:31:00.003-04:00

Pete Abraham, Yankee beat writer for the Lower Hudson's Journal News, writes a great blog. Check it out here if you have never read it. It is full of good writing, unique insights, and some candid player moments. He posted this hilarious moment earlier today…

Big Buck Hunter is a shooting game. Basically you take a pump-action shotgun and kill whatever woodland creatures come across the screen. These include deer, elk, rabbits, wolves, coyotes and raccoons. It’s very realistic.

Watching Kyle Farnsworth play this game is like watching the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. Everybody dies. After watching Farnsworth handle a gun, I may never jab him again on my blog. He missed his calling, he should be shooting for the U.S. Olympic Team. He never missed.

Farnsworth (who, on the record, is a very nice guy when you’re not asking him about pitching poorly) said he’s buying the game for his vacation home. It retails for $5,000.

I couldn’t help but think about other professional athletes and their favorite video/arcade games…

Sal Fasano (Catcher, Atlanta Braves)
Super Mario Brothers 3

It has been said that the premise of Mario 3 was based on one wild night Fasano had at the University of Evansville. Fasano declines to confirm whether raccoons, drain pipes, a princess, and giant fish were involved. The matching 'staches, of course, make this rather obvious.

R.W. McQuarters (Corner, New York Giants)
Spongebob Squarepants: Atlantis Square Pants

R.W. loves Spongebob...'nuff said

Marty McSorley (Defense, Boston Bruins)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

This one is a no-brainer. Of course, McSorley would play with C asey Jones if he could.

LeBron James (Forward, Clevland Cavaliers)
Burger King's Sneak King

Ok, if you were living in a cave on Mars listening to Rick Astley's Greatest Hits during this eleven day hysteria, check this out to catch yourself up. Now how awesome would it be if King James was dressed up like The King and serving Whoppers and breakfast sandwhiches. Hello egg, hello meat, hello cheese...

Pat Riley, Egomaniac

2008-04-29T20:18:00.003-04:00

This from guest poster Grilled Cheese:

Things that I know about Pat Riley:

1. He is perhaps the greatest quitter of our time
2. He is probably one of the smartest men in Professional sports
3. He looks like a cross between Emilio Estevez as Coach Gordon Bombay trying to impress Iceland in D-2 and Willem Dafoe’s portrayal of a gay detective in Boondock Saints
4. He is an exceptional douche

Let's start from the top. Now perhaps I’m biased here, but I believe Riles’ history of quitting on people, organizations and that awesome fu manchu he used to sport (clearly his only redeeming quality) is well documented. We all know how big Pat came to fame and glory… riding the long and glorious coattails of none other than Kurt “Rambo” “Superman” Rambis, but how did he only win 4?? Seriously, though, I do give him props where they are due, and like many fine coaches who have been in the right place at the right time (AHEMPHILJACKSONCOUGHBLARGRRRAHEM), Riles took the greatness he was given and brought us what we have come to know only as Showtime. But with Magic, Worthy, Kareem, and the gang on the floor how could he not walk away with all those rings?! A blind monkey throwing crap at a chalkboard would have won at least as many if not more; which may have more to do with my view of NBA coaching than Riles himself. Anyway, back to Riley being a big fat quitter.

Now here’s the thing about Riley: he brought me some of the most loved and cherished basketball memories of my life. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be able to watch John Starks brick 3 after 3, Charles Oakley dive after 8-10 balls a game and good ole Mase just move everyone out of the way with his massive truck of a derriere (but alas, that is a story for another day). And as I write this, I’m once again reminded, it was the players I loved, not the man who would eventually bolt as if he just impregnated Charles Dolan’s wife and needed to get out of town before Chucky realized he was too old to even get it up anymore. As quickly as Riles came to New York and New York embraced him, he quit on the team and became exponentially more hated even quicker. I guess he figured that he had taken the Knicks as far as they could be taken, and he might as well get out before the building started burning down (as he doused the place with gasoline… only to be saved by JEFF VAN GUNDY). Seriously though, couldn’t he have stuck around for at least one more run at a title?! They came so close. Boo. Quitter.

So, he went on to Miami where he would coach to varying degrees of success for many years. This was nice for him… until!!.... GASP!!! …. The Heat started to!!!!!!...... OH NO!!!!!..... LOSE!!!!! That’s right!! They became a bunch of losers! So, what do you suppose Pat did in times of trouble? If memory serves correctly, he… now what’s another word for quit? Hold on, let me get out the thesaurus… Resign? Naa. Relinquish? Eh. Surcease? Too fancy. Ooo I like this one: Abandon… nice. So he abandoned his post as Miami’s head coach because they didn’t win. Unfortunately the karma gods missed this one (although as I will explain later, they generally did a good job of fucking up Riley’s shit) and allowed him to somehow stumble across Dwayne Wade. Oops. After sliding out of the way of the bullet, he fed Stan Van Gundy to the wolves, only to watch him do a wonderfully and unexpectedly splendid job! This undoubtedly angered the great Riles, for he is the only man fit to sit on a bench and watch extraordinarily good basketball players make him undeservedly famed and beloved! Long story short, Shaq comes in, he forces Stan out (in the middle of the season, mind you) and… bam! Tough Actin’ Tinactin!... errr, I mean… he won another championship. Now, I will acknowledge that among many things, Pat is no idiot. Despite rolling over a number of people and organizations in his path, Pat made sure that he was only on the bench when he had a legitimate shot to win. I suppose there’s something to be said for that (douche).

Luckily for the Dolan and Van Gundy families… karma is a bitch. The Knicks went on to happily eviscerate the Heat in every playoff matchup they had (yes, I am choosing to ignore the PJ Brown- thug mansion-Charlie Ward flip series, it never happened). Stan Van is currently lucky enough to be the proud papa of the 22-year-old beast who’s more God than man, D-wight Howard. And, now, as the Heat are once again not good at winning basketball games, poor Riles shockingly decided to hang it up. He gave the media some cliché about his heart not being in it and not being able to give it his all. I would, however, be willing to bet that with a healthy Wade and an effective Shaq, his heart would be just fine. And so… he is forced to watch from the sidelines as his superstar makes it look more like- fall down 7 times, make that 8, shit…9- and his Diesel is getting oiled up in the desert. Now all that’s left for him to do is sit back and wait for another near championship team to latch on to before pushing someone else aside to prove what a “great coach” he truly is. Pat Riley: 1st class coach? I suppose. 1st class douche? Most certainly.

Is it 1996 again? I bet Shanny wishes it was

2008-04-28T21:46:00.003-04:00

Well, we’re several days into the second round of the NHL playoffs and there’s a lot that I feel needs to be addressed. Let’s start out West where many were hoping to turn back the clock to the late nineties when both the Red Wings and Avalanche were the cream of the crop and their rivalry was as fierce as any in all of sports. Well after two games, times have clearly changed. The physical brutality of the past is gone, replaced by the speed and finesse of Datsyuk (once a playoff no show), Zetterberg, and Johan “Mule” Franzen. I can only guess that Franzen garnered this nickname by smuggling meds from Sweden for an aging Steve Yzerman and Dom Hasek during the Swedes’ rookie year. While I was hoping to see the Lemieuxs, Roys, McCartys, and Larianovs come back to duke it out that has not been the case. The bad blood is gone and the lack of bloodshed is somewhat disappointing. While “Burnaby” Joe Sakic continues to do his thing, Forsberg, Hejduk, Smyth, and Statsny have been non-factors. The Avs should have the firepower to keep up, but as much as I hate to say it, Detroit has been a much more disciplined and responsible team. Here’s hoping Ian Laperriere does something somewhat like this.

The Dallas Stars just completed a road sweep in San Jose with Mike Modano playing like its 1999 and Mike Ribeiro actually playing hockey. I guess he isn’t going to sit on that big fat contract and act like a giant bitch. The Sharks, always a pre-season favorite look overwhelmed by the Stars who are actually a real hockey team now with Modano, Ribeiro and Brad Richards down the middle. Brett Hull must be pretty happy.

Out East the Flyers have been able to hold the swift Canadiens at bay, having lost Game 1 as the Canadiens tied the score late in third and won it in overtime after Alexei Kovalev did his best Oksana Baiul impression. In Games 2 and 3, The FLyers nearly lost third period leads but held on to win and now lead the series 2-1. Who knew Marty Biron could actually stop a puck?Apparently, they’re not as over-matched as many pundits believed. I would be much happier if both teams decided to beat each others brains in and gave up the whole hockey thing.

Lastly, we come the NHL’s biggest media darling since the Fox Trax puck vs. the NHL’s biggest media market in what is considered by many to be the ultimate match up in good vs. evil. The Penguins led by Sidney Crosby, the only NHLer most people know because the NHL can only market one player at a time, currently lead the evil New York Rangers led by Emperor Jagr and his disciple Darth Avery two games to nil. While the Rangers had Game 1 wrapped up with a three goal lead, they decided to give the game to the Pens and allowed for what turned out to be a phantom interference call against Martin Straka, drawn by none other than Sidney Christ Crosby. While the play was clearly a case of Sidney buying a call from the league officials, the game should never have gotten to that point. The Rangers should have shut the door and taken Game 1 on the road.
Game 2 was the defensive game the Rangers wanted to play, but managed to blow that one by playing tight defense but forgetting to show up on the offensive end. Only a few rushes led by Jagr led to any decent scoring chance. The line of Callahn-Drury-“Black Magic” were relentless on the forecheck but had nothing to show for it at the end of the game. Aside from that trio the Rangers lacked the speed to pressure the Pens to force the D-men on their heels. Their powerplay was atrocious with Shannahan setting up in the crease instead of the left faceoff dot to let go his lethal one-timer. As old as Shanny is he can still fire the puck, but the Rangers coaches thought Scott Gomez’s sublime passing skills was better off being wasted playing catch with Chris Drury on the half boards. As has been the case all season, the Rangers power play has been more of a power outage, which is unfortunate because of all the talent on this team. I suggested to a few people earlier today to get more speed on Gomez’s wings during even strength play, and Coach Tom Renney read my mind by switching Prucha and Shanny in practice. This would seem like a smart tactical move had Prucha played at the end of the season instead of riding the pine in favor of Colton Orr. Personally, Freddie Sjo would have been a better choice as he is a former first round pick, has some decent offensive skills, and a little less rust. Going back to MSG Tuesday should give the Rangers a huge boost, as they are 4-0 against the Penguins at the World’s Most Over-priced Arena.

Giants' Draft Report Card

2008-04-28T15:47:00.004-04:00

After a weekend hiatus, it’s good to be back, and there is a lot to talk about. Let’s start with the Giants draft…

ESPN dusted Mel Kiper off for his two weeks of work covering the NFL draft. (Who said April was only busy season for accountants?) Before being stuck back in the ESPN storage closet in between Barry Melrose and Dick Vitale, Kiper left Giants fans these parting words…

New York Giants: GRADE: C+

I understand taking safety Kenny Phillips with the last pick in the first round. He had a great sophomore season in 2006. Terrell Thomas could be a No. 2 cornerback, but I thought that pick was just OK. Wide receiver Mario Manningham is worth a role of the dice in the third round because he has talent, but his stock dropped in the months leading up to the draft, with some teams viewing him as a late-round pick. Jonathan Goff was a good find in the fifth round, and the same can be said about Andre' Woodson in Round 6. Defensive end Robert Henderson is just a marginal prospect. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/draft08/columns/story?columnist=kiper_jr_mel&id=3357479)

Mel, I really would have loved to have seen a little…I don’t know…expert analysis. This analysis reeks of “ESPN dubbed me the resident NFL Draft expert, so I pretty much don’t need to justify any comment I make!” Professorial complacency is leaking into the sports world!

This bothers me so much because I thought the Giants drafted pretty well. They used their first to picks to sure-up their biggest weakness, the secondary, and then took it from there. Let’s look at the first three picks:

Kenny Phillips (Safety, U of Miami)

Phillips was the first safety taken in the draft. I am not going to pretend to have watched him closely, but to me, it seems his style of play suits the Giants. With the departure of Gibril Wilson, the Giants are going to be looking for someone who can not only defend the pass but also tackle. Wilson was always among the team leaders in tackles (he finished only behind Antonio Pierce for total tackles in 2007). In 2007, Phillips had 82 tackles (also second on his team), which will be crucial in preventing big plays from developing in Spags’ high pressure defense. His 54 solo tackles are notable as well. And yes, he did have a great sophomore season in 2006, for what its worth.

Terrell Thomas (CB, USC)

“Terrell Thomas could be a No. 2 cornerback.” Gee, Mel, that sounds great. Considering Aaron Ross, Corey Webster, and Sammy Madison are already on the Giant’s depth chart. I’d say a number 3 cornerback would be fine also at this point. I don’t think we should be dubbing the secondary “lock-down” yet with Ross and Webster still needing to show some long-term consistency. (Not to take anything away from their ability to absolutely shut down some of the leagues down the stretch last year.) Of course, now having learned the new defensive scheme they will certainly do well to help Thomas along. Also, having a veteran like Sammy Madison will make New York a great place to breed DBs.

Mario Manningham (WR, Michigan)

ESPN.com’s James Walker called Manningham’s selection a potential steal. The Giants already have a “Manning to Manningham” banner on their website. Consensus among draft analysts is that Manningham’s “character issues” lowered his draft value. I’d say in the third round he is certainly worth the pick. In only three years, Manning became one of Michigan’s greatest receivers. At only 5-11 and 178 lbs, he shows a great degree of versatility as both a possession receiver and a bona fide deep threat. Plus, with the amazing depth of the Giants receiving corps, (Burress, Toomer, Smith, Moss, Michael Jennings, and some guy named David Tyree) there is not much downside with Manningham.As for the character issues, my guess is that Coach Coughlin will have them solved just in time for the season (or I guess 5 minutes early).

Farnsy' Bringing the Heat: Part I

2008-04-26T16:51:00.004-04:00

For this weekend, we have an exclusive guest poster to Through Your Earpiece. New York Yankees pitcher Kyle “The Razor” Farnsworth, who is a great friend of mine has agreed to submit some of his personal thoughts in order to boost notoriety of our blog. I want to thank Kyle in advance for his generosity in sharing what its like to be a professional athlete. Without further ado, here is what Kyle sent me:

It’s been a pretty tough week here at Farnsworth central. First my roommate, teammate, and best friend, Shelly "Ginsu" Duncan, was sent down to Scranton because old man Girardi is scared to put his power swing into the lineup. At least Torre would put Ginsu in the lineup and promptly fall asleep in the dugout. The Compound just isn’t the same with empty Dunc's bunk-bed. I haven’t been able to sleep much because it’s just so darn lonely, good thing I’ve got my stuffed teddy to keep me company. Who is going to help me shaving cream Abaladejo's stuff in the clubhouse? He’ll be back soon though and the Crash Brothers will be better than ever. To make matters worse my elbow gave out on me from throwing too hard. Apparently throwing a 95 mph change-up to go wth my 101 fastball is too much wear and tear on my body, or at least that’s what those kooky team doctors say, but what do they know? All I know is FARNSY’S BRINGING THE HEAT on each and every pitch. Cuz if you ain’t throwing hard you ain’t throwing at all. It's just a minor injury so I'll be back in that 'pen BRINGING THE HEAT! Then there's the golden-child, Joba, who got interviewed by Erin Andrews. The finest sports reporter since Howard Cosell. She may be perfect in all ways Razor likes his women: white, blonde, tall, and white. BOOYEA! If I were you, Joba, I'd take her out to The Reservation and show her why we call you "Chief!"

It’s not all bad in Razor's world though, so don’t you guys be worrying about me. After being relegated to mop up duties in meaningless games recently, I'll be back bringing the heat thanks to Bruney being a giant bitch, unable to play through pain. Season ending surgery? Grow a pair you mama's boy. Playing time here I come. Then there's that LaTroy guy. That guy freaks me out with his weird voodoo dolls and strange pre-game rituals. He's a bigger bitch that Bruney. You gonna let the fans determine the way you play the game and what number you wear Hawks'? Not in my clubhouse, cuz RAZOR'S BRINING THE HEAT TONIGHT!!

Update: Shelly Duncan has been recalled by the Yankees and will be in tonight's starting lineup. Go get 'em Ginsu and Razor

Favre to escape Madden Curse or doom us all?

2008-04-24T21:15:00.004-04:00

In his never ending quest to escape retirement, Brett Favre is expected to feature on the cover of EA Sports’ Madden 09. Will Brett be able to escape the Madden curse by the sheer fact that HE’S RETIRED?! Or will this begin a series of chain reactions that ultimately lead to the deaths of Peter King, John Madden (spontaneous combustion), thousands of Packers, and Mr. Wrangler himself? Or is this Favre’s clever way of announcing to the world that he has not filed his retirement papers and plans on returning to lead the Packers onto Lambeau for one last season (at least). Can Brett Favre not get over the fact that his final pass was to Corey Webster? Has Brett been having nightmares of getting beat by Peyton’s baby bro? Will this madness never end?

Happy 4 Year Anniversary, Eli Manning

2008-04-24T11:14:00.002-04:00

On this day 4 years ago, Eli Manning was selected first overall by the New York Giants via a trade with the San Diego Chargers. It was a historic day in the land of Big Blue, and I was ready to run out and purchase a #10 jersey. Before I could, my roommate at the time, who was quite handy with a roll of masking tape, converted his Ike Hillard jersey into a Manning jersey and wore it around all weekend (I came up with the cash shortly thereafter convinced that Eli was the future of the Giants).

The early going was tough for Eli. In the season before he was drafted, his brother Peyton broke the single season touchdown record with 49 TD passes and was named NFL MVP nearly unanimously. In 2005-2006, some guy named Ben Rothel-something, the 11^th overall pick from that other U of Miami (tell me that doesn’t confuse Jeremy Shockey) becomes the youngest QB to win a Super Bowl. As Eli got his feet wet, the Chargers were looking pretty smart. Phillip Rivers was being groomed by Drew Brees . The other draft picks that came in the trade brought the Chargers up and coming star Shawn Merriman and kicker Nate Kaeding. When Rivers beat out Brees for the starting job, even I was starting to doubt the Giants selection – and mind you, I was on the Eli Manning band wagon even as others drowned while fording the river or died of cholera. Wait a minute…wrong wagon…

Anyway, you all know the story. Eli, whose name is of course derived from the Greek for “Answered Prayer for the New York Media’s Original Whipping Boy, Chad Pennington” showed flashes of greatness for the next few seasons but just couldn’t seem to string together enough quality wins to be considered an elite QB, which was the very least the public demanded of him. He, of course, answered the calls in the 2008 playoffs and Super Bowl XLII with a performances for the record books and did the world a favor by knocking off the undefeated Patriots.

So what do you think the future holds for Eli Manning? Is he over that “hump” that NFL broadcasters keep talking about? (I don’t know about you, but I feel like with every snap, another broadcaster is saying, “This is the turning point of Manning’s career”). How long/will the New York media give him a pass? What happens the next time the throws three interceptions in a game? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

61*

2008-04-24T00:18:00.001-04:00

Anyone catch 61* on HBO last night? Great movie – it might be the most underrated sports movie of our time. Billy Crystal does a great job capturing the drama that was the home run race of 1961 based on his friendship with the late, great Mickey Mantle. I turned it on just in time to see the footage of Maris hitting #61 into the right field grandstands and running the bases as if it were any other home run. No ceremony, no photo-op, no video montage…he ran the bases, took his curtain call and got on with the game. Wouldn’t it be nice to get back to that? Instead of…. “Manny being Manny”

You Have Something On Your Face, Bobby Jenks: Yankees vs. White Sox

2008-04-24T00:14:00.001-04:00

As I stared at the…thing…on Bobby Jenks’ chin, I could only think about the many positives that came out of the Yankee’s win tonight over the White Sox:

Mike Mussina: What an outing for Mussina, who passed Bob Gibson on the all-time wins list after pitching 7 strong innings with 4 H and 2 ER! Both runs were off solo home runs. With Mussina’s clear drop in velocity (his fastball was at about 82 mph), home runs are to be expected. The key is what happened tonight; he allowed only one walk and was able to pitch out of trouble when necessary. As David Cone mentioned in the YES postgame, Mussina was able to spot his fastball well, which enabled him to come back from counts he fell behind on. With a change-up in the low 60s and a nasty breaking ball, Mussina was able to fool batter after batter into soft pop outs. Yankee fans certainly should not expect a 7 inning gem like this one, every time Mussina takes the ball but his approach (and credit Posada for calling a good game) will hopefully be something he can build on.

Jorge Posada: The other half of the battery had a great night tonight as well. As previously mentioned, Posada called a great game. Mussina rarely shook off a sign and mixed his pitches effectively. Not to mention, he went 4-5 with 3 doubles and raised his average to .304. Posada was so in-tune with the game that he even knew to keep Mussina in to finish the 7^th inning when Joe Girardi raised his hand to make a pitching change.

Johnny Damon: Production out of Damon is crucial to the Yankee success. In his final year with the Red Sox, Damon scored some 70% of the time he got on base. His deceptive power and ability to hit the ball to any part of the ball park makes him a great lead-off hitter, as we saw tonight (2-5, 2R, 2 RBIs). His on base percentage is up to .357 – let’s hope it stays there (In 2004, Damon had a .380 OBP)

All that needs to be sorted out now is our relief pitching. I look forward to Misconduct telling some stories about Kyle Farnsworth soon.

My Hopes for the Rangers-Devils Series

2008-04-24T00:13:00.000-04:00

Rangers-Devils – a classic rivalry between a team that should have been worse than a four seed and a team that should have been better than a five seed. I, at first, hoped the Devils would sweep the Blue Shirts and humiliate them in a way that could take away the pain of dismal season for the New York Islanders. When this was out of the question, I was hoping for a 7 game series in which the Rangers lost in an unbelievably humiliating fashion. Something along the lines of…

It’s 3-3 game in the four overtime. Ranger's back-up goalie Stephen Valiquette has had an outstanding game filling in for disgraced Ranger goaltender Henrik Lundqvist was carried out of the Ranger dressing room (pads and all) in handcuffs. He was then promptly deported for being in the country illegally. New York Islanders Ice Girls line the exit to MSG making fun of him. One even spits on him...how's that for irony. Anyway, back to the game. The Rangers have a 5 on 3 powerplay for 2 minutes after Arron Asham and Colin White beat the every-loving tar out of Sean Avery. They couldn't even give out fighting penalties because Avery didn't have a chance. A failed clearing attempt by Paul Martin gives Jaromir Jagr a breakaway on Martin Brodeur...this should do it...oh wait...Jagr trips! ("Spaz-way, he'll screw up" ) The puck innocently trickles to Brodeur who throws it up the boards. The puck deflects off the glass...hits Scott Gomez where the sun don't shine...then off the back of Sean Avery's head (who is standing in front of Brodeur doing his stupid little screen the goalie dance)...and past a diving Valiquette.

...Well I guess it's up to the Penguins.

Am I bitter? Ok maybe a little. It certainly was a very exciting series, and hockey fans can only hope we will see more of this as the playoffs go on.

Musings about the NHL Playoffs

2008-04-24T00:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the nice introduction, Mr. Misconduct. Let's jump into a little bit more on the NHL playoffs...

ESPN.com recently had a poll about which sport had the best Game 7’s. The NHL, MLB, or NBA? As you might expect, Major League Baseball was far and away the winner. And why not? With football out the question, America’s original pastime is far more popular than the NBA and the NHL. But hold on one second now…

As we already saw last night with the Caps-Flyers game, it’s hard to beat an NHL Game 7. Think about the waning minutes of a close game third period or even better an overtime game: the intensity, the desperation – it’s unmatched. In baseball, each team is guaranteed an opportunity to take one more crack at taking the lead and provided they don’t make any outs – they can keep scoring at their leisure to make that happen. There is never a moment of, “you need a home run right now or you lose.” In basketball, close games become foul shooting competitions, which can be exciting, but also can drag on to a point where the intensity can dissipate. Only in hockey, do you have the one minute of pure anarchy (reminiscent to the street fight in Anchorman) when the goalie is pulled and its 6-5. When the dust clears one team emerges triumphant and the other is in “dead place.” (Of course, leave it to Boston to tank Game 7 and ruin my point…they’re probably just still pissed about Aaron Boone).

Too bad for the Caps though, its clear Ovechkin is something special, and I guess part of me was hoping that he would face off with Crosby in the playoffs. Still, I am sure we are in for our fair share classic Caps-Pens games in the future.

In other news, what happened to the Ottawa Senators? At least the New York Mets had the courtesy to collapse in the last weeks of the season. Sens fans had to endure months of it (11-16-4 after the All-Star Break) Not to mention, they were “swept” out of their misery by their former star Marian Hossa whose addition to an offense that includes Crosby, Malkin, and Jordan Staal should probably have created some void in the universe somewhere. (Like pressing someone else’s Easy Button). Oh yea, and that guy Zdeno Chara…finalist for the Norris. Well at least the Ottawa Renegades start up soon.

Whoever he is, I'm impressed

2008-04-23T14:11:00.006-04:00

No, I did not purchase a life size replica of Stanley's cup, but Tom Poti might as well, seeing as how it's the closest thing he is going to come to touching the real thing.

In case you missed it, and I'm sure most of you have, Poti, he of the long poke check and fear of physical contact, ruined the NHL playoffs by taking a lame tripping penalty in overtime of Game 7 vs. the Philadelphia Flyers. Poti, trying to erase his history as an overpaid, un-physical defenseman cost the rest of the world a chance to see more of Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player until next October. He was hated by Ranger fans, loved by Islander fans because Ranger fans hated him, and Capitals fans (if there are any left) didn't know any better than to cheer on this steaming pile of garbage. Now they know that Tom Poti is absolutely useless since Mike Green has emerged as a legit offensive defenseman and power play quarterback. Thanks a lot Tom, go eat a jar of peanut butter. Now we're subject to a series featuring Carey Roy Dryden Price Christ vs. whichever Flyers players aren't suspended.

In the other Game 7 from last night, Jeremy Roenick may be the leader the Sharks have been missing since Joe Thornton once again decided that becuase he doesn't get paid during the playoffs he might as well not play well. The Sharks won Game 7 and Mike Keenan alienated one of the best goaltenders in the league by pulling Kipper and replacing him with Curtis Joseph. I'm pretty sure that Cujo and JR receive the same AARP magazine my parents get every month. So the Flames lost and the Sharks escaped near disaster thanks to the overrated coaching that is Mike Keenan. So kudos to you Mike, no one has lived off of the 1994 season more than you, the teat may be getting a little dry.

Soon the Crasher and I will figure out how to link to other sites and post some videos, more from him later.

Tell me Coxy, why'd you want to play college hockey

2008-04-23T10:31:00.004-04:00

"Isn't it obvious? For the girls"

That's our first post becuase who doesn't love Miracle? There's going to be more coming from myself and the Crasher about all things sports. we thought we needed an angle, but we thought we'd be better off starting by posting whatever we want and then letting you, the readers, give us feedback and take the blog in the direction you want to take it.

We promise that what we will be posting stuff worth reading.

Roz