Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The NHL is at it again!


In what can only be described as another hair-brained idea, the NHL has come out with "The Guardian Project" in collaboration with 88 year old comic lord, Marvel's Stan Lee. I have nothing against the 88 year old Lee, but being 88 years old means his mental faculties are probably no longer all there, dooming this project from the get-go. The premise behind the NHL's latest in a long line of failed marketing ploys ("It's effing Tinkerbell!") is Lee and his team at Marvel created a super hero based on every NHL team. These 30 super heroes will take on some mysterious villain threatening the world and the NHL (ZOINKS!).

While this is undoubtedly a ridiculous under taking, it has become even more farcical than we here at Through Your Earpiece could have ever imagined. A quick look at bio snippets from our favorite Guardians reveal how strange this project is.

From The Blackhawk: He prides himself on being the guy who the others look to when situations look bleak. In his words, "Jump on my big shoulders and let's get it done."

Come on! Do I even need to explain this?

From The King: He's comfortable on the red carpet but far more likely to be found at a director's house discussing his latest film.

Yeah right... as long as the director is Roman Polanski.

The Oiler: He's gritty and tough like the roughneck oilrig workers he mostly associates with. He loves getting his hands dirty and not only doesn't he shy away from hard, physical work, he relishes it.

Uhhhh... why does this sound like a giant 950-pound behemoth trolling the Edmonton gay night life?

The Wild: The Wild isn't so much a superhero as he is a force of nature... the Wild chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem.

So the NHL Guardians are into porn fetishes?

Since I could do this about every guardian, but would rather not I'll leave you with this from the Shark: the Shark can change his demeanor at a moment's notice and exhibit a more tenacious side... and like actual sharks, poor eyesight (in fact he's almost blind).

But don't expect this hero to be around come May, he'll probably be on the golf course.

While the NHL has yet to reveal their menacing villain, we have some ideas as to what plagues the NHL which we will reveal in the near future!

Stay tuned! Same blog-time! Same blog-channel!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Punting Wins Championships

Ok, maybe not championships. But while I was writing a season-ending tirade against the Giants, I noticed something. A couple of very good teams, better than the Seahawks, (both in wins and losses, offense stats, and defense stats) all have a common thread. The Giants, Chargers, Bucs, and Jaguars were all in the hunt during Week 17. The Rams were as well, but let’s just chalk that up to the anomaly that is the NFC West. All four of these teams fell short. Their offensive and defensive stats seem to vary, but there is one constant - bad punting.

A key punting stat is Net Punting Average, which demonstrates the resulting field position after the punt. While, of course, punt coverage must be considered, a punter has a significant affect on this statistic. A failed pooch punt into the end zone, a shanked punt out of bounds, low kicks, and short kicks, all will affect this statistic. The Bucs (#23), the Giants (#26), the Jaguars (#29), and the Chargers (#32) are all in the bottom ten in the league in this statistic.

Two of the top teams in offense and defense, the Giants and Chargers, also rank at the bottom of punts inside the 20. This can be a measure of distance but more often that not, it is the ability to avoid touchbacks and pin teams deep in their own end. The Chargers rank #32 with 13 punts inside the 20. This suggests that fewer than one time per game (barring a red zone turnover) that Chargers opponents started deep in their own territory. The Giants, ranked #27, had 20, which is more than once per game, but a far cry from the league leading 42 (Jets). The Jaguars (#15) and Bucs (#17) were not as dramatic but also in the lower echelon of the league. It is worth noting that both the Chargers and Giants were in the bottom of the league in total number of punts.

The most glaring example of punting issues was, of course, Matt Dodge against Philly. In the closing seconds of the game, Dodge needed to kick the ball out of bounds to give the Eagles one or two long plays to score. Instead, Dodge kicked it to DeShawn Jackson who took it to the house.

Alright, there is certainly more in play here. Maybe punting does not win championships. You could always take a page out of the Packers-Falcons game and just not punt at all. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

More Proof the NHL is Behind the Times


I'm all for edgy rock music being used it commercials.. it adds another layer of texture to the spot. Let's take the latest commercial for the NHL All Star game, taking place on January 30th here. A pretty cool bit showcasing some of the NHL's biggest stars. Listen closely to the music. The song that plays is Switchfoot's "Meant to Live." A catchy song that helped the band achieve mainstream success. Want to know what year this song was released? 2003. That's right. 2003! Marc Messier was still in the league in 2003. Sidney Crosby, the NHL's biggest name, was still playing at Shattuck St. Mary's before playing juniors in Canada. Couldn't the NHL have found a more recent song to go along with their commercial? Don't even get me started on the fact that Vancouver's Roberto Luongo, while featured in the commercial, isn't even participating in the game itself. Once again it's one step forward, two step back. I guess Robin Scherbatsky was right when she said, "The 80s didn't come to Canada til like '93." The trend continues.