Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The NHL is at it again!

In what can only be described as another hair-brained idea, the NHL has come out with "The Guardian Project" in collaboration with 88 year old comic lord, Marvel's Stan Lee. I have nothing against the 88 year old Lee, but being 88 years old means his mental faculties are probably no longer all there, dooming this project from the get-go. The premise behind the NHL's latest in a long line of failed marketing ploys ("It's effing Tinkerbell!") is Lee and his team at Marvel created a super hero based on every NHL team. These 30 super heroes will take on some mysterious villain threatening the world and the NHL (ZOINKS!).

While this is undoubtedly a ridiculous under taking, it has become even more farcical than we here at Through Your Earpiece could have ever imagined. A quick look at bio snippets from our favorite Guardians reveal how strange this project is.

From The Blackhawk: He prides himself on being the guy who the others look to when situations look bleak. In his words, "Jump on my big shoulders and let's get it done."

Come on! Do I even need to explain this?

From The King: He's comfortable on the red carpet but far more likely to be found at a director's house discussing his latest film.

Yeah right... as long as the director is Roman Polanski.

The Oiler: He's gritty and tough like the roughneck oilrig workers he mostly associates with. He loves getting his hands dirty and not only doesn't he shy away from hard, physical work, he relishes it.

Uhhhh... why does this sound like a giant 950-pound behemoth trolling the Edmonton gay night life?

The Wild: The Wild isn't so much a superhero as he is a force of nature... the Wild chains himself up at night so as not to cause any unnecessary mayhem.

So the NHL Guardians are into porn fetishes?

Since I could do this about every guardian, but would rather not I'll leave you with this from the Shark: the Shark can change his demeanor at a moment's notice and exhibit a more tenacious side... and like actual sharks, poor eyesight (in fact he's almost blind).

But don't expect this hero to be around come May, he'll probably be on the golf course.

While the NHL has yet to reveal their menacing villain, we have some ideas as to what plagues the NHL which we will reveal in the near future!

Stay tuned! Same blog-time! Same blog-channel!


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