Thursday, June 5, 2008

He Will Literally Tear Your Face Off

Finishing up our list of players less productive than Bobby the Bear, who is currently in negotiations with the Toronto Maple leafs because of his fierce play in the corners and goal scoring prowess:

5. Alexander Karpovstev- The Russian defenseman won a Cup with the Rangers in 1994, then was most notably traded by the Maple Leafs for Brian McCabe. McCabe just barely missed out on this list. I’d write something witty here, but I’ll let Pat Foley, Blackhawks’ announcer do the talking, “We’ve got Bryan McCabe for Dean Martin!”

4. Brett Lindros- Baby Lindros (aren’t they all?) drafted 9th overall in 1994 because he was the younger brother of Eric was supposed to lead the Islanders into the 21st century. Instead, he played a total of 51 NHL games, as the Islanders and a lot of other teams passed on players like Chris Drury, Patrick Elias, Marty Turco, Daniel Alfredsson, and Steve Webb. Yikes.

3. Patrick Stefan- In what was a fairly poor 1999 Entry Draft (Pavel Brendl anybody?), Stefan was King Bust. Drafted first overall by the expansion Thrashers Stefan failed to live up to his expectations due to injuries and lack of talent. As a member of the Dallas Stars, Stefan’s career was encapsulated in this one play:

2. Alexandre Daigle- Another first overall pick, this time from the 1993 Draft ahead of Pronger, Kariya, and the heralded Hal Gill. Daigle signed an enormous contract and coasted through his time in Ottawa. Daigle is quite possibly the biggest bust in NHL history as a first overall pick because of his staggering junior statistics and the number of teams’ management he gave headaches. Daigle was a primadonna in the worst sense of the word and after years of futility finally left the NHL in 2006.

1. Alexei Yashin- If you don’t know why, please ask my esteemed colleague, Mr. NetCrasher. I’m sure he’s got a few things to say about Yashin.

Dis-Honorable Mention: Tom “Bleeping” Poti, Martin Havlat (is he ever healthy), Bryan McCabe (because Leafs fans absolutely hate him), and Marek “Harry/FrankenMalik” Malik


Anonymous said...

I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching that Patrick Stefan lo-light! It's hilarious every time I see that blunder!

Net Crasher said...

Alexi Yashin can $%@^# my $#%^# and jump the $%^## off a @#$%. What a $#%@ waste of @#%$ time and money.

Anyone with a Yashin jersey should be entitled to a full refund plus pain and suffering.