In Soviet Russia Stick Control You

What’s the best way for a league to gain credibility? Bring in Chris Simon, of course. Several months ago, the New York Times printed an article claiming that the Russian Superleague would begin to challenge the NHL in terms of talent and quality of product. The article cited that many of the players in Russia were NHL stars capable of competing with the Malkins, Crosbys, and Lundqvists of the NHL. I, of course, knew better than to agree with this drivel because the players they were citing were none other than NHL castaways Alexei Morozov and everybody’s favorite former New York captain, Alexei Yashin. What the Times failed to mention was that these players weren’t good enough to stay in the NHL nor were they really wanted. Furthermore, the buildings that are hoped to compare with NHL arenas are 1/5th the size (3,000 cheering fans compared to 20,000, lemme think about that one). So now Chris Simon joins the league after an illustrious NHL career of suspensions and hooliganism. That should add some instant credibility to a league that overpays for over-the-hill athletes and has arenas smaller than most Division III gymnasiums.