Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Farnsworth Chronicles: Go East, Flamethrower






“There’s got to be something I can do to turn this shit show around. We got We got old man Torre sleeping through games, Jeter trying to keep up with that Wright kid, Boras parading A-Rod all over the place, and Jeter is too busy turning B-list celebrities into A-list gossips. The only people with someone going for them are those two Japanese guys,” Farnsy thought as he ast in his locker room after the 2007 Yankees’ exit interviews.
He sat up from the stall put his good luck t-shirt in his bag and walked to the parking lot. “I’ve got too much talent to be sitting behind Joba, if that kid had a Gatorade deal they’d give him his own flavor called ‘fire-water’ if you know what I’m saying.” Farnsworth climbed into his Ford F-350 and called dialed Duncan.
“You got Dunc’d.”
“Yo! Shells, I got a great fucking idea for this offseason. I think I figured out how those crazy Japs do it. We gotta become mother fucking samurai, man. It all came to me in a dream with Tom Cruise and that guy from Batman with the crazy mustache. The white folks were all like we’re going to take over the Japan, and the other guys were like no way man, and there were swords and guns and, oh man it was fucking rad.”
“Dude, you’re talking about that movie, ‘The Last Samurai.’ But that is still a great fucking idea. If Igawa and Matsui can do it, we could own that place. And God Damn you know how I love me some Asian women; I got the Yellow fever so bad I’m sweating just thinking about it.”
“All right, rock on. Let’s do this shit!”

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to create a top notch article… but
what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don't seem to get nearly anything done.

My webpage; http://aydinayhan.nl

Anonymous said...

Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely
long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I'm still new to everything. Do you have any points for newbie blog writers? I'd definitely appreciate it.



Feel free to visit my web site; clustering and load balancing

Anonymous said...

Really when someone doesn't know then its up to other people that they will assist, so here it occurs.

My blog post: workouts to improve vertical leap